WHOOPASS LICENSE..................

WHOOPASS LICENSE…………
Well another week at work has gone by and I’m
glad its over…What a train wreak…I had 27 e-grams in
my mailbox all asking the same thing…’When are you going to
be done with my project?’…buttheads…I sent each one back
this message... ’Well,, if you’d stop asking me that question,,
I would have been done two days ago’…
camelheaded morons…
Their being ungrateful morons got me to thinking,, which is
always a dangerous thing for anyone to do…

I got to thinking about the morons of this world and I was
also thinking about how the government could lower my taxes
and pay off the National Debt...So I came up with a solution that
solves both problems at the same time…
It’s the greatest idea since sardines on pizza…
The solution to the governments money problems and too
everyone elses (mainly mine),, is for the government to sell
Whoopass licenses,, that can be used to beat the living crap out
of morons…The way I figure it,, everybody wins…

The government get lots of money per license,, and morons get
what’s coming to them,, all nice and legal…

Here’s my plan,, any US citizen aged 18 to say 60,, can buy up
to 7 whoopass licenses per year,, to use on any US born or
naturalized citizen,, except the President,, got to give him some
slack,, because,, well he’s the President…Besides if the President
was eligible he’d never get anything done,, there would be a line
circling the globe just to give him a Whoopass…
The government could charge,, say $2500.00 per license and
make lots of easy cash,, and as a bonus,, if you buy 7 licenses all
at once you get an 8th one free,, but the 8th one can only be
used on morons or nutsos in airports…
Sounds good to me,, however there would have to be some
restrictions or rules of course,, everything has rules and this
plan is no exception…

Rule #1…each whoopass license can only be used once and then
must be torn up…
Rule #2…the receiver that you want to give the whoopass to,,
must receive it gracefully and calmly,, no crying,, begging or
bribing allowed…
Rule #3…no one under the age of 16 can be whoopassed
by a whoopass license holder,, mainly because everyone under
16 is stupid,, and their hormones are running wild
making them more stupid…So their excused,, however their
parents can give them an unlicensed whoopass at any time…
Rule #4…no one over the age of 60 can be whoopassed,,
mainly because their old and senile and giving them a whoopass
at that age would just make things worse…
Rule #5…a proxy whoopasser can be used…This is mainly
because there are lots of 80lb tweebs out there that would just
love to give a whoopassing to the gorilla office managers
among us,, so their allowed to hire anyone they want to do the
whoopassing…I suggest WWF wrestlers…
Rule #6…the whoopassing should not go too far…
It’s a Whoopassings not an Iranian wedding,, so no breaking of
bones are allowed,, except the nose…The whoopasser must only
use their fists,, feet,, knees,, or elbows to do the whoopassing…
No blunt instruments or chairs are allowed…
Rule #7…should both parties have whoopass licenses,, the
licenses do not cancel each other out…Use them at that time or
wait until the other party is not looking…
Rule #8…a get out of whoopassing free card can be purchased
from the government for,, say $120,000,000…
and can only be used once…This should keep the rich morons
getting their just ‘desserts’…
Rule #9…should a whoopass receiver try to run away or
hide and not take his/her whoopassing as noted in Rule #2,,
they will immediately loose their US citizenship and be
extradited to Iran,, where whoopassing is free,, no license
required…
Rule #10…extra credit towards a free whoopass license can be
gained by using your current whoopass license on mimes or
French persons who speak French while in the US…
Rule #11…a special whoopass license can be purchased at
any time,, no limits on how many you can purchase,, for the
price of say,, $50.00…This special whoopass license can only
be used on illegal aliens…Earth type or space type,,
doesn’t matter…

I think this is a great plan,, it not only solves the moron problem
but also solves the National Debt problem too…
I’m sure it needs a bit of refinement but what doesn’t……….