Something to ponder on as you wander on


Some liars are born that way, some are self-made; but the really great ones are elected to Congress…
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Saturday, September 29, 2007

A WEEK IN THE LIFE

A WEEK IN THE LIFE…………..
I’ve noticed that in blogland that there are just a few basic
types of blogs,, and they are these:

1: THE ADVERT BLOG: where its filled with cereal box
click me thingies,, click me get two coupons free,,
click me get three coupons free and a pound of cat poop,,
learn how to do your own taxes,, click here,, Viagra,, click here,,
meet hot women who want to meet you,, click here,,….I hate those
sites,, sht I get enough adverts on my TV,, and the thing is they
have disabled the “back button” so you can’t get out,, so you have
to shut down your browser and restart again,, isn’t that nice of them..

2: THE HOW-TO BLOG: this is where you can learn how to crochet
a cozy for your toilet paper,, or make an orange daisy hat,,
something I’ve always wanted to do,, or maybe it’s a site on how to
skin that raccoon you found on the highway,, and make it into some
earmuffs or some mittens for your friends,, these sites are always
very professionally done (not like my site at all),, they have
2 billion bit color photos and black and white diagrams,,
with 1 by 1 by 1 step instructions on how to make things,,
come back next week to learn step two,, and don’t forget to
subscribe to our how-to book club...

3: THE FOREIGN LANGUAGE BLOG: I skip on by these because
I can’t read Egyptian hieroglyphs…

4: THE FUNNY OBSERVATION OF MAN BLOG: I like these the
best,, because they have humorous tales to tell about what happened
when they went on vacation,, or went to the store and were attacked
by three deranged persons in “where’s waldo” costumes,, or they just
make observations on how stupid we all are,, or they just have a
silly story they have written and have now posted for someone like
me to wander by and read,, yes I like these the best...

5: THE DAILY JOURNAL BLOG: where it’s a journal of their daily
events,, there seems to be a lot, a lot of these sites...

So since I haven’t done anything like no.5 above,, I thought I’d tell
you what my daily routine is…
What GT281 does each and every week… its real exciting…not…

MONDAY: I usually get up around 2-3 in the morning because
I really really have to go pee,, do to the fact that I drank coffee all
Sunday night,,(more about that later),, I stand there peeing for
about five minutes with my eyes closed,, hoping the lid is up and
my aim is good…having gotten rid of the twelve cups of coffee
I had the night before,, I stumble into the kitchen and turn on the
coffee pot,, the coffee pot doesn’t have any water or fresh coffee
grounds in it,, so somehow I manage to get that all set up and
working,, I stand there like a Sam Raimi zombie,, with sand
filled eyes waiting for enough coffee to be brewed to fill my cup,,
its always too hot,, hot enough to melt plastic and I immediately
have to spit it out all over the kitchen sink and cabinets,,
putting a new tongue in,, I try it again,, by now I’m awake just
enough to put some water in it so its drinkable,, I now stumble
thru the house and end up on the recliner sofa and pop up the
foot rest and have some coffee,, about 40 minutes later I wake
up with a start because I spilled coffee into my lap while I was
checking for leaks in my eyelids... back to the coffee pot,,
I now turn on DTV and float away listening to 70s-80s oldie goldies,,
I have DTV,, with its 500 channels but I never watch anything,,
I just listen to the music stations,, I pay $95 a month to do that,,
something not quite right there,, I’ll have to check into that later,,
it gets to be about 5 o-clock so I tumble into the shower,, then take
another 5 minute pee and do the sink routine,, get dressed and wait
for that golden moment when its time to head out the door and
to work,, which for me,, is around 10 till 6,, I put the dogs out and
then ten minutes later let them back in again…
I have more coffee while I wait…

When the golden moment arrives I hop into my Columbo mobile
and drive down the highway,, thank God the car knows where
its going,, it only takes about 30 minutes or so to get to work,,
unless of course I get behind the shthead with the cellphone stuck
in his ear,, then it of course takes a lot longer..
sometimes I stop for a $3 egg-Mac-MUFFIN and orange juice,,
sometimes I don’t…getting to work and my cubbie,,
I check my e-mail boxes (all 6 of them),, nothing,,
Now because we’re slow at work I don’t have anything to do,,
I browse thru the internet,, viewing blogs,, news stories,,
jokeland etc,, I try to stay away from the girlie sites,, because
the boss,, has a reader and he can tell where I’ve been on the net..
about 8:00 I step out for a cigarette and watch all the other zombies
stumbling from their cars with Starbucks coffee in hand and into
the building,, some have stopped and got donuts or bagels,,
they never offer me any,, I hate them,, I like bagels,,
stingy bastards.. back to my cubbie…

9:00 go outside and have cigarette,, 10:00,, repeat 9:00,, 11:15,,
Repeat 9:00,, but add stopping to chat with hotty receptionist,,
I like her,, too bad she wouldn’t get naked with me,, she has a
real big mad bomber biker for a boyfriend,, so I have to be careful..
Lunchtime.. normally don’t do lunch,, cuz I’m fat,, return to cubbie
and wander the net.. 1:00,, repeat 9:00,, 2:00 & 3:00,, repeat 9:00,,
throughout the day I hit the vending machines,,
$1 for a 24oz mountain dew,, times four,, .75 for some chez-its,,
(2 chez-its and a bag of stale air),, 3:30,, out the door,,
a drive on the 18 wheeler-clogged freeway and then home,,
greeted at the door by my dogs,, the best “people” I know…

Always happy to see me,, start the coffee pot and let the dogs out,,
hit the couch again,, have some coffee,, I’m awake enough now so
I put the coffee cup on the table by me,, turn on DTV,, and once
again listen to music,, fall asleep,, because my eyeballs have been
burnt out while I was looking at the silicone screen all day,,
about an hour later,, I’m awakened by the dogs scratching on
the door,, oops forgot to let them back in,, go pee for 5 minutes,,
turn on the computer at home and check my e-mail,, none,,
browse thru blogland and the net,, or maybe try to write a
funny story,, to post,, which no one will ever read,, except me,,
have some left-over whatever,, maybe not,, feed the dogs,,
let them back out again around 9:00,, bring em in again about 9:15,,
and then to bed about 9:30… exciting ain’t it…

TUESDAY: repeat Monday
WEDNESDAY: repeat Tuesday or Monday,, you pick
THURSDAY: repeat Monday,, Tuesday or Wednesday,,
adding meeting at work,, which usually gets canceled…
FRIDAY: repeat,, except leave ½ hour early,, because its Friday…
SATURDAY: repeat most of Monday,, except I don’t get dressed,,
I just wander around in my bathrobe,, I’d weed the gardens,,
but the weeds have won that war,, maybe next year,, could pick
some veggies,, but there aren’t any,,
the animals and birds got them all...
SUNDAY: repeat Saturday, except Sunday is movie day,,
meet my sisters at the mall to see the latest wham-bam
special effects killer thriller from La-La land…
sometimes on Sunday,, I get to play handyman at my sisters,,
I don’t get paid for this,, but I do get too have lots of fun in the attic,,
getting sweaty with all the fiberglas insulation sticking to
every inch of me,, what a thrill…

NEW WEEK: repeat all of the above…
Just think,, I have only 15 more years of this until I retire,,
to Mac-Ds,, as a ringer-dinger for your Mac-BURGER…
Now you know the extra exciting world of GT281…
(I hear its going to be made into a movie,, with Brad Pitt as me)

Somebody shoot me please…………………………

Thursday, September 27, 2007

RANTINGS #2..........................

I am very very tired of listening and reading about the
looney tooney sand people,, very tired…
And using the term looney tooney,, is an insult to
Bugs bunny, porky pig, daffy duck,, and all the rest,,
because while they made me laugh in every way,,
these looney tooney sand people do not,, they scare me,,
They really do...

Just the other day Ahmadinejad (pronounced im a mad jedaie),,
the third looniest sand flea on the block,, came to the US and spoke
at Columbia University and the UN... What gets me about his “visit”
to Columbia was the fact that he had been invited there to spu forth
his Fked-up view of things by the President of Columbia,,
you know “lets get together and see what your views are”
kind of thing,, amazing,, simply amazing,, lets hope that
Mr. President of Columbia now has his walking papers and his name
removed from the door,, because he’s lost it…To give any wacko
terrorist a forum to spit out his lies should be a capital offense and
you should be put thru a giant blender,, because you’ve just
yelled “fire” in a movie house...
Freedom of speech is one thing,, but inviting a terrorist to do it at
your home,, in front of young adults is another...

Every alum of Columbia,, I hope has now torn up their donation
checks,, have denied even knowing where Columbia is and have
burned all their college sweatshirts… Just as surprising is the fact
that the line to go see this looney tooney sand flea went around
the block…
Come on guys and gals,, your suppose to be the next leaders of
this fair land,, did you expect to confront (im a mad jedaie),,
with your question and answer period in hopes of making him see
the “light”??... The only “light” he wants to see is the mushroom
shaped one hovering over the New City,, which if you don’t
know by now,, is you,, especially if you happen to be from the
Moses family…
Instead of throwing questions at him,, you should have thrown rotten
fruit,, pineapple and coconuts would have been best,, or at least
got up in unison,, turned around,, farted in his general direction,,
and left the room… But you didn’t…You failed…
I give Columbia University and everyone associated with that mess,,
an F minus minus minus,, and I now rescind all your scholarships,,
kick you out New York,, New York,, and I hope you all end up
studying the Canadian mud fly,, for the rest of you life…

You think I’m kidding don’t you??,, just making a humorous
observation on the stupidity of man,, well sorry,, I’m not,,
I stand by everything I said in the words above,, you failed,,
you failed every freedom,, liberty loving person who has ever
been born,, is alive today or who will ever be born…
You stink to high heaven,, and I hope I never meet any of you...
You let a known terrorist walk about your home,,
on freedoms soil,, what you should have done was shoot
him in the head,, why not,, we shoot our own don’t we??
Lincoln, Kennedy, Bobby, King, John,, lets squeeze off a couple of
rounds at the evil ones,, once in a while,, and see what happens…
Do you think I’m being too cruel??,, think of it this way,,
a rapid dog is a rapid dog,, not a pink bunny with Alka Seltzer
foam in its mouth…

Ah,, the UN,, what a fked-up fairy land that is,, full of whishy washy
word manglers,, what a joke it is… Just a place for every nation to
poke a sht covered finger in our eye and say it was our fault,, isn’t it
great that the US is responsible for everything that goes wrong on
this planet...

Wasn’t it great to see (im a mad jedaie),, stand up there at the
podium,, with that stupid smirk on his face and tell everyone
what a peace loving country Iran is,, and their not trying to build
an atomic bomb,, yeah,, right,, pigs have wings,, and the sun always
shines on the dark side of the moon... Hey,, if you believed
anything he said,, I have some very nice land for sale that you
would just love,, in the marinas trench…Yep,, that 400 billion dollar
lab that was built 200 ft underground isn’t for smashing atoms and
spinning centrifuges or anything like that,, geez was I wrong,,
turns out it’s for making ceramic pink bunnies,,
on contract to the Chinese,, what a relief…

It was great finding out that it is the fault of all the western infidels,,
that things are so screwed up around the world,, and that
the holocaust never happened,, Hitler just had bad press that’s all,,
he was just trying to get everyone in line for a nice hot shower and
then they could sit in that nice warm oven to dry off,,
wasn’t that nice of him??... Hitler was just trying to unify everyone
that’s all,, you know to get everyone to think alike,, be alike,,
look alike,, he just got bad press,, and Stalin did too,,
hey,, isn’t that what the OBL wants,,
for everyone to be just like him??...
It was nice to find out that WWII was just a big lie,,
told by the western infidels,, who were financed by
the Jewish Mafia,, so that the Palestinians could be robbed of
their land... I’m glad (im a mad jedaie) cleared all that up for me,,
I was confused,, I never knew that all the movies of the bodies
in the concentration camps was just a Spielberg movie effect,,
he’s Jewish isn’t he??,, see it’s a conspiracy…

I give it five years before we see a glowing mushroom cloud over
Tel-Aviv, or the New City, or somewhere over La La land,,
just five years… That’s why I’ve started to build a real nice
underground shelter in my backyard,, just five years,,
mark by words… Yes,, it will be nice to see the peaceful sand people
throwing atomics our way… Yep,, everyone I know says that Islam
is a peace loving,, kind,, forgiving religion,, I’ve heard that said
many many times,, it’s so peace loving and forgiving in fact,,
that the Shiites and the Sunnis can’t wait to hug each other to death…
My only hope is that on the last day of President Bush’s admin,,
he pushes the red button and makes melted glass out of the
sand people,, “oops,, I guess he pushed the wrong button”,,
I’m sure he was just ordering a pizza,, and while he’s ordering
his “pizza” I hope he gets some fried rice from North Korea and
some fresh dates from Damascus and throws a fireworks party over
the mountains between Pakistan and Afghanistan,,
just so OBL can view them up close and personal like..........

WISHING APON A STAR....................

I wish I could lose 20lbs, and have it stay away,,
I wish I had a bigger…you know….savings account,,
I wish my commercials would stop being interrupted by
stupid TV shows,,
I wish hotsy totsys liked older men with grey hair,,
I wish kids would stop running up to me asking for their
Christmas presents,,
I wish the stores could wait until 2 minutes after Thanksgiving
was over before they set up the Christmas displays,,
I wish people would answer their e-mail that I sent them,, or at
least that I would get an automated message back saying that their
in-box got it,, I hate not knowing whether or not my e-mail was
received or maybe it bounced off the belt of Orion,, was shot at by
Klingons, then intercepted by the Romulans and sold to the Ferengies,, who gave it to the Borg,, and now the Borg have my
e-mail address,,
I wish cell-phones could only be used in an emergency when your
stuck on the freeway,,
I wish the people I work with had more brains than a dead chicken,,
I wish I could play the guitar, or the piano,, not just play,,
but be really really good at it,,
I wish my fingers weren’t so fat, so I would stop hitting two keys at
once,, or maybe it’s the keyboard keys that are too small,,
I wish the Islamic sand people would just magically disappear,, their
Dna is really fk-ed up,, or maybe their brains have been fried
by too much sun,,
I wish the atomics we have,, didn’t come with so much radiation,,
so we could use them on the fruitcakes,,
I wish spell-check really worked,,
I wish I could just lie on a forgotten beach somewhere,, and have
half naked native girls serve me those fruity drinks with the little
umbrellas,,
I wish Sean Connery was still Bond, James Bond,,
I wish some unknown wizard in his garage would invent a substitute
for gasoline,, that anyone could make with just the cleaning chemicals
that are under the kitchen sink,,
I wish the guy in the next cubbie,, wasn’t such a loud talker,,
I don’t need to know about his rectum colon surgery,,
or how stinky his wifes farts are when she drinks coffee,,
or why he let his kids have a nose ring,,
I wish the Raiders really did have a chance of winning the
Super Bowl this year,,
I wish…..well,, the list is endless……………….

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I BUILT A BIRD HOUSE


I BUILT A BIRD HOUSE..............................................
I was just sitting in my favorite overstuffed rocking chair,
(not rocking of course,, because it was broken) has been
for seven years,, I think the horse died,, well I was just sitting
there with my 12 pack of warm beer,, watching pro-rastling on my black and white 14” TV,, the color one was broken too…
Watching a steel caged death match featuring,, Triple H,,
the Undertaker,, Machoman Savage and the return of
Hulk Hogan,, it was great as the bodies flew thru the air and gosh there was blood everywhere,, I think the Hulk broke Triple H’s back,, then I heard her sweet “little” voice from the couch over there..
My beauty most fair,, all 350lbs of her,, sitting on the steel
I-beam reinforced couch I made for her this year,, wearing a camouflaged moo-moo she got at the army surplus store,,
I think it was used to cover armored Hum-Vees in the desert wars…
She was reading last months issue of House and Garden,, eating
chocolate covered “gump” bon-bons 4 at a time,, with her 2 lhasa apsos,, and some chips and dip and éclairs too,, by her side… Shes changed just a “little” since we got married,, she used to be a size “0”,, but that was,, oh,, 18 months ago…

“Honey”,, Can you build a bird house for me?”… was her question… Now I have been married quite some time now,, and I’ve learned not to say “NO” to my “honey bunny”,, or frying pans start to come flying and rolling pins really do hurt,, when smashed about your head,, not like in the cartoons,, it really does hurt,, and blood starting oozing,, and stitches are always required…
“Yes,, sweetie pie”,, “I can do that for you”,, I said with a smile…
You see I am quite handy about the house,, I built those shelves on the wall there,, not my fault their not quite square,, I think it was the lumber,, or the paint somehow,, and I built her a “bric-a-brac”
display so she could show off her collection of ceramic pink bunnies to her friends,, (I think it’s junk,, but don’t tell her that,, I want to keep on living for another year or so) it looks very nice,, even tho the openings are not all the same size,, and the middle one slopes just a little to the left,, but that’s the way the plans were I guess,, I also built the coffee table in the living room,, now piled high with empty “bon-bon” boxes,, coke bottles and issues of Harpers Bazaar,, don’t mind the book under that one leg,, it must be the floor that’s out of wack..

With sausage sized fingers she ripped out the pages that showed how to build a pretty bird house just right,, all 17 ½ pages of it…
It had a list of materials,, 3 colored photos,, a plan view,
6 elevations,, exploded parts,, and an isometric,, just for a bird house than was only 8”x8”,, it had 12 pages of instructions,, written in plain English,, Spanish,, and Chinese,, I guess they have birds in China too,, it was masterfully done and showed me “exactly” what to do,, and in sequence too..
I then got off by butt and when right out the door,, as I was passing her on the couch there,, I was bitten by both her
lhasa apsos,, they don’t like me very much,, I guess it’s cuz I kick
em in the butt whenever she’s not looking… Off to the hardware store I went,, in my brand new dodge ram diesel pick-em up truck,, it had dual quads and a V-8 hemi,, it was bright red,, and impressed all my friends,, to the store I went 40 miles away,, had to get some gas tho before I got on the freeway,, it cost me $57.50,, with a coke and two bags of chips…
The materials list I had was quite complete,, it listed everything I could possibly need.. 1 sheet of 3/8” exterior plywood,, $34.40,,
a package of stainless steel nails,, 1” long and some screws,, they were stainless too,, $9.25,, I got a ½ gallon of white paint and some very nice paint brushes,, mine were all used and full of left over paint goo,, $18.75,, a couple of tubes of white caulking was added,, just to make the joints look real nice,, $6.75,, and I needed a 3/8” dowel 4” long,, they didn’t have any that size so I had to get one 8’ long,, $6.95,, I didn’t need any drill bits,, I had some in the garage,, somewhere…

Back home I went,, with all my supplies in the back,, to home and into the garage,, I unloaded it all and placed my supplies against the wall,, you know,, plywood is kind of heavy and awkward too,,
I hope I can put my side mirror back on with some “super-glue”…
I set up my aluminum sawhorses and proceeded to start cutting out the plywood shapes I would need for my “sweetie pie’s” bird house,, I accidentally cut my circular saws electric cord and it knocked me flying thru the air with quite a shock,, landing on the
windshield of my brand new pick-em up truck,, the windshield kinda got broken and smashed,, I guess I’ll have to have that fixed,, my shoes were smoking,, the sides had been blown out and my socks were on fire… Getting down from the hood of my
pick-em up truck,, I stepped on her nephews skateboard and landed on the concrete floor,, with my head hitting the garden tiller and I think I broke my elbow,, the skateboard went rolling down the driveway and got run over by the garbage truck that was picking up the trash at the curb…

The garbage man wasn’t very happy about that,, because when he drove over the skateboard,, it poked a hole in one of his duelies,,
well he came up to me in my garage and knocked out two of my front teeth,, the trash company sent me a bill for the tire,, $400.95,, taxes included… After the garbage man left,, I picked up my two front teeth from the floor and went over to the doctors office in town to have my head looked at and my elbow too,, he was 30 miles away so I had to put more gas in my brand new dodge ram diesel pick-em up truck ,, $39.25,, with a coke and 2 bags of chips… The doc put some stitches in my head,, gave me some real nice pain pills (whoopee),, took some x-rays of my elbow,, then set it in a flexible cast,, $325.95,, I’m sure that my insurance will cover it… Going home from the doctors,, I was stopped by a “friendly” state trooper while I was driving down the highway,, he gave me a ticket for my broken windshield and one for the missing sideview mirror too,, it was real nice of him,, he smiled all the time,, $175.25,, I have to be in court on the 16th…


Back to the garage I went to finish “honey pies” bird house,, I left my pick-em up truck in the driveway,, it wouldn’t take long,, I had
all the pieces cut now,, all I had to do was put them together just like the picture… Looking at the exploded “parts” view and the 6 elevations,, didn’t help much,, so I just put them together as best I could,, it looked kind of alright,, a little white caulking would make the joints just perfect,, all I had left to do was drill a 1 ¼” hole in the front and glue the dowel in and then paint it,, I would be done in no time,, and then I could get back to watching “rastling”…

Well I couldn’t find my drill bits in my garage,, so I had to go back to the hardware store,, I got the spade bit and a 3/8” one too, just to be sure,, $6.35,, had to fill up my pick-em up truck again when I got back home,, $42.87,, with a coke and 2 bags of chips.. I got the drill all set up and started to drill the bird hole with that new 1 ¼” spade bit I got,, then the bit got stuck in my aluminum sawhorse and the drill started to twisting around and around and it wound up the electric cord that I was standing on and it pulled my foot right from under me,, I landed on my butt,, right on the metal garden rake I had left by the wall,, cuz the shed was full…
Well it went right thru my jeans and did it hurt,, blood went flying,, so I went to the doctors again and he stitched up my butt to stop the bleeding and he gave me a tetanus shot too,, and some real big white butt bandages,, $185.15… I finally finished the bird house for my “sweetie pie”,, but rastling was over and I just sat
at the kitchen table on a nice pillow drinking a beer,, then my
“honey bunny” came waddling sideways thru the 4’ wide patio door I had put in,, seems she had to go to the store for some more
chocolate covered “gump” bon-bons,, she got 12 boxes,, that should last her about a day or two,, then she took out of her sack,, a brand new bird house,, she got on sale at the store,,
it only cost $8.95…
And it had red painted hearts on it and green painted vines too,, it was real nice……………………….

Thursday, September 20, 2007

THE DUSTY ROAD part5


THE DUSTY ROAD............................................................................
(the wheat fields)
It had been a very strange night that I had when I was in the misty forest,, and now as I looked forward,, I could see nothing before me except golden wheat fields,, from horizon to horizon they were…
Stretching out before me in great waving hues of amber,, and thru this sea of wheat the dusty road did go,, so it was that I found myself within the wheat fields...

I have never been much for farming or for even the small garden plot beside the house,,
I had always been to busy,, for the sowing,, and the weeding and the reaping of the harvest,, it had always been much easier to just pick up what fruits and vegetables that I needed from the corner store… And now I found myself among these tall stands of wheat,, perhaps almost ready for the harvesters to come along and gather them up,, for someones bread I suppose…

As I have said,, I am not much of a farmer and I really do not know of wheat growing and such things,, but this wheat to me did look like it was about ready to be harvested,, it was perhaps 3-4 ft high and of a golden amber color,, just waving back and forth in the gentle breeze,, there were no fence rows about,, it was just planted from the edge of the road ditch,, to as far as the eye could see… It seemed like a vast ocean to me,, for miles and miles did it go,, and so it was that I trekked upon this dusty road…With nothing about me except the wheat fields,, there were no trees about,, no farms and scarcely a sound could be heard except for the rustling noise of the wheat shafts apon one another…

It was perhaps the mid-morning of the second day in the wheat fields that I did come to a “tee” in the road… Now I had mostly been heading in an easterly direction,, since I left the misty forest,, and it was to the east that I wanted to still go,, but this dusty road now did impose upon me to make a decision of which way to go at this junction in the road… I looked to the south,, and saw nothing ahead,, except for more fields and just this road that I was apon,, and I also looked north,, it was the same sight there too,, except perhaps I could just barely make out some tree tops in the far distance there… Perhaps it could be just a small grove of trees that I could rest under for the night,, or perhaps an old farm house,, so I looked once more to the south,, and then I decided to head north,, towards the trees up ahead... At least it would be a different view,, then what I had been walking thru these days,, something different than these wheat fields…

I had perhaps only walked for about an hour or so,, since I left the “tee” in the road,, when I came apon a dead dog in the ditch along the road,, this is always a very sad sight to me,, to see an animal that is dead along the roadside,, perhaps hit by a passing car or truck,,
always such a sad sight… This dog did seem to have been hit by something,, it was perhaps just a year old,, not too long a life it had along this dusty road and in the wheat fields,, a stray perhaps or maybe a family pet that got lost somehow,, I stopped just for a moment,, for I have seen many such animals dead along the road side,, and then I trekked on towards the trees ahead…I had traveled only about fifty feet or so,, when I heard a whimpering moaning sound coming from behind me,, a groaning sound of pain…

Now I am not such a callus man that I could just continue on,, after hearing that moaning sound,, so I returned to that dog in the ditch there… Yes,, it was surely its moaning sound that I heard,, I could hear it plainly now and I could see it just barely breathing there in that weedy ditch…

I have had many dogs when I was a kid growing up and I have always thought that dogs are just the best “people” I know… So with this,, I thought perhaps I could give some final comfort to this dog apon the dusty road,, and then I just sat beside it,, and I tried to comfort it as best I could,, I suspected it didn’t have long to live so I wanted to make it as easy as possible for it…
I gave it some water and some of my biscuits and I examined her as best I could,, I think perhaps she had a broken rear leg,, for it was bent oddly,, and it was still bleeding,, so I bound up its leg and tried to align it as best I knew how,, it did seem to help ease her pain… She was not moaning so much now,, and not once did she try to bite me or even growl at me,, I guess she knew that I was tiring to help her,, to make things easier for her,, before she passed away…

I stayed with this dog there,, for the rest of the day,, and I gently moved her into the wheat field,, onto a bed of wheat shafts that I had formed there on the ground,, for a ditch is no place to die… It was becoming dark now,, and this dog was still just barely breathing,, so it was that I stayed there that night,, I carefully built myself a small fire to make my stew,, being very careful not to build such a fire that I would burn the wheat field,, I made my stew as I had many, many times before,, with wild onions,, wild turnips and this night I opened a can of frank and beans to have along with my biscuits,,, it is what you eat the most,, “hobo stew”,, when you are wandering along the dusty road… As my stew began to heat up,, and its aroma started to fill the air,, I noticed that the dogs eyes did open just a bit,, and perhaps its tail did move,, so that night I ended up sharing my stew with this dog that I had found all battered and bruised upon the ditch there…

When the morning came there was just a gentle misting rain,, and it cooled the air and settled the dust down,, and it made the wheat fields smell like fresh baked bread... The sky was overcast and cloudy,, but not with the type of clouds that would bring thunderstorms,, I figured they would just bring a misting rain thru the day,, not much trouble for me,, just a little cooler perhaps…
I packed up my things and then looked upon the dog that had lied beside me thru the night,, no breathing could I see and she felt cold to my touch,, passed away during the night I guess,, there was not much I could have done for her,, I had done what I could to ease its pain and at least she had a fine last meal,, even if it was only “hobo stew”.. So I left her there among the wheat fields,, I had no way to bury her anyway,, I carried no shovel in my pack,, there was nothing I could do for her now…

I continued my journey north along that dusty road,, to find a road east for that is the direction I wanted to go... and then after about five minutes of walking I suppose it was,, I heard a faint low bark from behind me,, and I turned about,, and there limping along on three legs was that dog I had found the day before,, not so dead after all…
Well I bound up its leg again,, gave her some biscuits to eat,, and I fashioned a crude sling from some old shirts I had,, and I started once again north along that dusty road,, a strange sight I must have been,, me with my crude oaken walking stick,, and a dog apon my back…

Yes what a strange sight we must of made that day………………

TWO BROTHERS


TWO BROTHERS........................................................
It was the day before Christmas and the battle did rage,,
And then a truce was called for the very next day,,
Two brothers met upon the battlefield,, on Christmas day,,
They exchanged photos,, stories,, and letters that day,,
Then upon the battlefield,, they were found,, dead they lay,,
Both shot thru the heart some did say,,
By perhaps a bullet that had gone astray,,
Now side by side they do lay,,
In wooden caskets that their father had made,,
One wore the Yankee blue,, the other,, the Confederate grey,,
Now side by side,, forever do they lay,,
Shot thru the heart some did say,,
But it was really the mother who died that day,,
For she loved them equally in every way,,
Shot thru the heart,, she was,, on that after Christmas day,,
In peaceful slumber do the two brothers lay,,
One wore the Yankee blue,, the other,, the Confederate grey…….

THE LIFEBOAT


THE LIFEBOAT...........................................................
As the sails of the ship were swallowed below the waves,,
Five souls within a tiny lifeboat watched as it disappeared,,
Only five souls left from that ship,,
All together now,, bound within a tiny lifeboat,,
They were cast atop to drift among the waves,,

For many hours,, days,, and years,, were they adrift,,
The first to descend into the waves,, the abyss,, was youth,,
For youth never stays long,,
Then there were only four within this tiny lifeboat,,
The next to go was charity,,
Charity will only stay if all is well and right,,

Atop the endless rolling waves,, only three were left,,
In the darkness, and thru the days and years they drifted on,,
Then humanity slipped from this tiny lifeboat,,
Humanity will only survive so long after things go asunder,,
Now only two souls were left to be cast about by the waves,,
Only two souls left,, the others did not last,,

The tiny lifeboat,, kept on falling and rising among the waves,,
Then finally wisdom left,,
Wisdom would have stayed,, but it becomes weak in the unknown,,
Now only one soul was left,, to stand alone against the waves,,
It will never leave this tiny lifeboat,,

Forever and a day will it stay,,
It will ride among the waves,, and face the blackest nights,,
Never will it leave,, this tiny lifeboat,,
Its name is hope,,
And hope is eternal within the human heart…………………

THE STORMS


THE STORMS.........................................................................
The four horsemen have arisen,, they wait to be called forth now,,
You know them,, these riders of the Apocalypse,,
They wait for the chosen hour,, to bring destruction to all mankind,,
They wait within their darkened tombs,, among the shattered bones
of the men who fought against them,, they are coming soon,,
you know them…

Plague,, sits apon his white horse,, waiting,, he will be the first,,
Famine apon his red horse shall be the second rider to come forth,,
War will come next riding the black one,,
And finally will come the rider of the pale horse,, death for all mankind,,
You know them,, these riders of the Apocalypse…

I have waited 1000 centuries for man to come of age,,
So that you might listen,, and be able to send back these riders from
hells dark heart,,
1000 centuries have I waited to tell you,, that there are four others
that precede these riders of the Apocalypse,, and that is why they
wait,, they wait,, but they are mounted now apon their horses,,
For the hour draws near…

Mankind has finally come of age,, so I can tell you now,, of the
four storms that precede these riders,,
It is from another book that I learned of these storms,,
A book from long,, long, ago,, that I read when I was but a child,,
A book that can only be read thru gossamer wings,,
A book of woe,, death and destruction,, a book of darkness,,
It tells of these four storms,, these four sisters of the riders…

They are among you now,, so that is why I have come to warn you,,
To tell you what you must know,, to warn you of these four storms,,
These four sisters are now sowing the seeds for mans destruction,,
And when the seeds have grown enough,, fed with enough of mankinds blood,,
the four riders will be called forth by their sisters…

All four storms are among mankind now,, gathering their power
from the many,, the few,, the poor,, and the wealthy,,
These sisters are called by many names,,
but I shall call them by their simpler names so that you might know them…

The weakest of these storms,, these sisters,, I call waste,,
She is very thin,, but she is very vast,, you know her,,
Everyday her power grows stronger and stronger,,
She will never be satisfied,, until everything of this earth is consumed
and then thrown away…

Her sister is perhaps just the opposite,, for she gathers everything
unto herself and keeps it,, and will not share it,, she can never me
sated,, always wanting more and more and more,, one is never
enough for her,, I call her greed…

The younger of these sisters I call apathy,, but her youth hides an
awesome power,, for she plants in mens minds the seeds of laziness,,
and indifference… Powerful evils these are in times of suffering…
She causes men not to care about the fates of others,, to cause men
not to reach out and help one another in times of strife,,
She plants the seed of laziness,, so that men will not go out and
strive for a days worth,, men begin to think that they need do nothing
at all,, that all will be brought to them,, that life is easy…

Now the oldest sister of these storms,, is also the most powerful,,
She has been around a long,, long time and has driven mankind into
madness many times before,, and has caused many to fall into the
dark realm of hatred,, she is called prejudice…
She is the most powerful of these four storms that plague mankind,,
she is the one to most watch out for…
She casts evil and darkness upon the very soul of man,,
she causes brother to kill brother,, neighbors to hate neighbors,,
and nations to fight nations…

These are the four storms that precede the riders of the Apocalypse,,
They are among you now,, growing stronger and stronger every day,,
and that is why I have come,, to give you this warning,,
to let you know,, that these storms are rising,,
and they have never been as strong as they are now…

Look to the horizons,, and look within your soul,, it is not too late to
banish these storms,, to make them lie down,, it is not too late…
But I must warn you again,,
that the clock is about to strike the midnight hour,,
and then all will be laid to waste…
The four horsemen of the Apocalypse,, will be called forth,,
and then darkness and evil will be upon every land………………………….

Sunday, September 16, 2007

AND THE LADY WEPT




















AND THE LADY WEPT..........................
Near the oceans freedom shore she stands,,
With her golden torch in hand,,
Lighting the way to the promised land,,

She stands amid the oceans glistening waves,,
Against all the evils that come this way,,
She holds her golden torch up high,,
So that all can see its golden light apon the sky,,
Never does she waver,, never does she let the light die,,

An evil serpent thing,, from hells dark realm,,
Satans bastard son,, with forked tongue,,
Set his evil cursed eyes upon the lady fair,,
And he gathered up, some worthless ones,,
For an evil plan that he thought should be done,,
With twisted lies and twisted tongue,,
He plied them in every way,, for evil was his trade,,
Go to the land far away and steal the silver birds he did say,,
And this they did that bluesky morning day,,

Four giant silver birds were taken amid-flight,,
Then guided to the towers and to the guardians home,,
3 gossamer eagles did come tumbling down,,
But one was taken back,, from the evil ones spawn,,
Taken back by heroes that were brave and strong,,
They would not let evil have its way that day,,
And now in heroes graves they do lay,,

The lady with the golden torch did weep and cry,,
Many tears did fall from the sky,,
Not for the dollar damage that was done,,
But for the killing of the innocent young,,
Satans bastard son had a small victory that day,,
An evil twisted serpent he was,,
To say that to kill the innocent was his cause,,

Satans bastard son then slithered away,,
Under his worm infested rock and into his cave,,
Then apon the silicone display he did say,,
It was I who made the young pay,, I am glad for that day,,
Just wait,, just wait,, many more worthless ones,,
Will I gather up for another day,,

Many apon the sand were gleeful that this evil had been done,,
Into the streets and byways they went,, singing songs,,
Singing in praise the name of Satans bastard son,,
Satans bastard son spoke out with his twisted evil tongue,,
And many worthless ones did believe his lies that he spun,,

But nothing should be believed that is said by Satans bastard son,,
The lady with the golden torch still stands,,
She did not falter,, she did not cower before the evil one,,
She did not plead for mercy,, from Satans bastard son,,
She just wept for the murdered innocent ones,,

Against all the evils that come her way,,
She holds her golden torch up higher,, and higher,,
So that all can see its golden light that will not go away,,
Never does she waver,, never does she let the light die,,
Never will she bend or bow before an evil serpents lie,,
Her knee will never touch the ground,, for here does freedom rise,,
Many have tested the ladys golden light,,
They have flung their evil weapons both by day and by night,,
The lady still stands with her torch so bright,,

Stars will fall from the heavens,,
Moons will be cast into the abyss,,
Galaxies will turn and tumble,,
But the lady with the golden torch,,
Can not be made to humble,,
Her golden light will forever be bright and clear,,
Her light shines brighter now,, than before evil had its way,,
She stands near the oceans freedom shore,, for eternity,,
And her golden light shines clear for all humanity…….........

Thursday, September 13, 2007

TOMORROW













……………………………….TOMORROW……………………………
Yesterday is gone,, today is today,, tomorrow may never come,,
Today is today,, not yesterday,, look to today for tomorrow,,
Yesterday passed this way and is now today,, tomorrow is yet to be,,
Tomorrow will never come for it will be today,, not yesterday,,
Yesterday can not be tomorrow,, for it would be today,,
Yesterday is gone,, today is today,, tomorrow may never come,,
………..huh?????????...........

Did you get all that??,,
Yeah I got it all right,,
Well??,,
Well,, what??,,
Did you understand it??,,
Yeah,, I understood it,,…..mostly,,
What do you mean mostly??,,
Well,, it’s kind of confusing,, you know,,
No it’s not,, it’s very simple,, read it again,,
Do you get it now??,,
Well,, ah no,,
It’s very simple,, Yesterday is gone,, today is today,,
tomorrow may never come,, got it??,,
Well yeah,, kinda,,
What’s so confusing??,,
It’s all those todays being yesterday and then tomorrow,,
Yeah,, what about em??,,
It’s confusing,, that’s all,,
Well it doesn’t confuse me,,
It don’t huh??,,
No,,
Well,, if you know so much,, then answer me this,,
Ok,, what is it??,,
Who’s on first??................................................

MY HERO
















MY HERO………………
Then she did ask me,,
If you could be anyone who would you be??,,
Now this question to me,,
Did seem to be as dumb as could be,,
For there is only one hero that I’d like to be,,
So I told her of my hero so she could plainly see...

He is not like the most of us apon this land,,
He lives in the mountains,, cities,, in the forests,,
And yes even in the desert sand,,
He has been on every continent,,
Even apon the sub-artic did he stand,,
He is a movie star apon the big big screen,,
He has an Oscar and a star on the walk of fame…

Yes,, apon the big big screen he has been,,
And on the little one too,, just for me and you,,
You have seen him I know you have,,
Apon the air,, land and sea he can be seen,,
He even went back in time and to the future he has been,,
He has been to planets in outer space,,
And fought the Martian for the human race,,
He has given many just a good good laugh,,
For he is sometimes Looney Tuney…

He has fought the Nazis and Tokyo Joe,,
Against fire breathing dragons,, red haired monsters and witches,,
Against the two gun Sam and the bottle genie he has fought,,
From wandering hunters he presses his luck,,
But he is no wacky duck,,
Against the Wile one and the hapless Fudd,,
Apon the stage in the Valkyreis,, Figaro and the Barber of Seville,,
He even bested El Toro in the bullfight arena mud,,
It has all been quite a thrill,,
He has run amok,, and out quipped them all...

Thru darkest Africa,, and the Sahara sands he has been,,
In the army,, navy and marines he was seen,,
There apon the silver screen,, quite the hero in every show,,
He is my hero I can tell you so,, for he is always funny,,
My hero if you’d like to know,, is that waskilly wabbit,,
Bugs Bunny………

What's up Doc??...................................

CAPTION #18














NOT MACARONI & CHEESE
FOR DINNER AGAIN............

LADY NOT IN RED





















………LADY NOT IN RED……..
Everyday I see her,,
Just sitting there apon the
green couched bus chair,,
Every day she is there,,
As I go to work ,, I try not to stare,,
She is a beauty oh,, most fair,,

But it does puzzle me so,,
When I see her each day just there,,
It puzzles me about what she does wear,,
Each day when I stride by her sitting there,,
I can not help put notice that only white and black
does she ever wear,,
Or maybe sometimes it is black and white
she does wear with care,,

And even apon her raven locks there,,
blonde streaks have been placed about her hair..
No frilly dresses of pink or blue,,
nor even green or the light yellow hue,,
No poka dots did I every spot,,
and never an animal print apon her did I view..
No,, no,, only the black and white would do..

And as I stared at her just ponderin one day,,
I noticed apon her cheek did lay,,
A sparkling jewel was playfully hidden away,,
It sparkled and twinkled when in the days light,,
It had been pierced just there with very much care..
But I still wondered,, why oh why,,
only the black and white did she wear…...............

CAPTION #13



















I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT,,
TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT................

THE WHITE BALL


THE WHITE BALL………………………
Whack apon the ball,, up into the air the tee did fly,,
Pity me for the ball did go awry,,
It went into the air,, I know not where,,
Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,, I did go,,
Looking for my ball,, don’t you know,,

Whack apon the ground,, strike one,, score it two,,
Whack apon the ball and the ground,,
Into the rough it did bound,,
Just lying there in the rough apon the ground,,

Whack apon the ball once more,,
Score it four upon the card,,
Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,,
Into the sand I now stood,,

Whack apon the ball in the trap,,
Oops,, it did roll back,, score it five,,
Up into the air the ball did slip,,
Landing apon the waters lip,,

Whack,, whack,, apon the ball,,
Score it six and seven apon the card,,
Into the pond the wedge was cast,,
Ain’t that a blast..

Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,, I did go,,
Unto the ball where it stood,,
Apon the first cut of green,, it did lie,,
A gentle chip and a little flip,,
The ball did glide past the hole,,
And unto the other side,,
Score the card with an eight,,
Chip the ball unto the green,, now it can be seen,,
Apon the green,, pull the flag,,
Now to putt a 50ft lag to the flag,,
20ft past the cup,, time for another putt,,

Score it 10 upon the scorecard,,
Putt once more,, towards the cup,,
The ball went by,, now what’s up,,
Only 5 feet more for this putt,,
Just two putts more and then into the cup,,

Score the score a 14,,
Only seventeen more to go,,
Before watering hole #19,,
Gosh,, I’m glad that was just a par 3……………

TO MARS AND THE END

TO MARS AND THE END ……………..
“Tell us a story daddy” the kids asked…
“Nagh, not tonight, it’s time for bed”…
“Please, please” they pleaded…
“Well,, alright,, but just one,, then off to bed,, OK??
“Yeah,, yeah,, we’ll be good”…
“OK,, what story would you like to hear tonight?,, how about the one with the pirates and the buried treasure?...
“No no,, we want to hear about the Mars mission and why the cities are gone”…
“I’ve told you that one about a hundred times now,, are you sure you want to hear it again??...
“Yes,, yes,, we want to hear about what happened”…
“Yeah,, I suppose I should keep telling you that story,, so that you’ll remember it and you’ll tell your kids about how mankind fell,, and how we ended up in these caves… I want you to remember this story…

“OK,, gather around closer,, and I will tell you what happened”…
“This is the same story my father told me a long time ago,, and his father told him and his father told him,, so listen carefully and you’ll know what happened”…
All the children gathered about the fire to listen to the story of
Mankinds fall from the heavens,, they had been told it many times before… But it was important that they remember,, so that they too could tell this story of long long ago…

Then the bearded man began to tell the story…

It was a long time ago,, man was a great builder and had just started to reach out into the stars... And he built great cities and had seemed to have overcome everything that was in his path…But this did not happen overnight,, it took many centuries for mankind to learn how to do things,, and to use his mind to improve his everyday life,, and he was very good at this,, so in time he became the master of all that was about this earth…He built great cities and roads and ships and planes and cars,, and everything that one could think of…

“What’s a car???...What’s a plane?? The kids asked…
“Well a car,, is kind of like one of our wagons,, but it didn’t have horses to pull it,, it had metal parts that moved,, and when they moved,, the car would go along the roads”…
“Oh”… the kids said,, still confused
“And a plane was kind of like a car,, except it flew in the air”
“Wow”,, the kids gasped…

Now,, as I was saying,, mankind seemed to have conquered just about everything,, he had learned so much that he could do and go anywhere he wanted…He learned to live everywhere,, in the deserts,, in the mountains, on the oceans and even under the water,, and the scientists were always coming up with new inventions and they were even able to make medicines that kept diseases away…
“What’s a scientist??” a kid asked…
“Ahem”,, do you mind if I tell the story???... ”Well a scientist is a very very smart man and he could use his brain to find out all kinds of things”…

Well,, mankind became so smart,, that one day they looked up into the stars and then they decided to build ships that would take them there,, and they gathered their scientists together and they built giant rocket ships that could get them to the stars…
And then one day they finally sent men to the moon,, way up there,, and then they brought them home…
“Wow”,, the kids gasped…
And the scientists were very careful,, so they kept these men in a special room,, just to make sure that they didn’t bring back any bugs from the moon,, and after many weeks,, the scientists decided that everything was safe,, so they let these men out… And they had big parades and parties to celebrate this great event,, and after awhile they sent more men to the moon and brought them back again…

Then man became so smart that he decided to build a great big house in space,, so that the scientists could learn more… And they kept making the space house bigger and bigger,, until finally it was big enough so that a lot of scientists could live up there for a very long time…They did scientists stuff up there,, and they took measurements of all kinds of things…
And they did this for many many years,, and then one day,, the scientists decided to send some men to Mars,, and to bring them back…
“Which one is Mars??”…
“I’ve shown it to you”…”it’s the red one”…
“Why did they want to go to Mars??”…
“I guess,, they wanted to know what was there,, and to see what it was like,,” …”Maybe they thought,, that there was some kind of life up there”…
It took a long time for the scientists to build a giant rocket ship and to find out how to get there…
And when they had built their rocket ship,, they sent seven men to Mars,, it took about a year for them to get there and when they landed safely all the scientists were very happy… And these seven men stayed on Mars for about another year,, before they came back home…

“Did they find anything up there??...
“Nope,, just a lot of rocks and some frozen water,, I guess,, but they did lots of tests and things while they were there”…
Then on their way home,, the men stopped at the big space house and waited for about two weeks to make sure they didn’t bring back any bugs from Mars… And the scientists did all kinds of tests on them and looked at them very closely to make sure they were safe… So after the scientists did all the testing they could think of,, they sent these seven men back to earth… And they had big parades and parties to celebrate,, just like when men went to the moon…

Well it was about two months after they landed that things started to happen…First the big space house started to get holes in it and things kept falling apart and they couldn’t fix the holes fast enough,, then the big space house exploded and killed all the scientists that were up there... Then the space ship that went to Mars started to get big holes in it too,, and finally it was almost completely eaten away,, by the blue fungus…

“The blue fungus??.. You mean like that stuff over there??...
“Yes,, that’s right Josh,, just like that blue fungus”…
“You see kids,, that blue fungus is not from earth,, it was brought back from Mars with those seven men,, and it is what caused all the great cities to fall down”…
“That fungus??”…”It doesn’t hurt anyone,, mom even puts it in our stews”…Josh said…
“That’s right Josh,, it doesn’t hurt us,, and it doesn’t hurt the animals or the plants or anything else”…
“Then how did it make the cities fall down??,, and hurt everyone??”
“It’s harmless,, to you and me,, but it likes to eat metals,, all kinds of metals… And the great cities were built using metal and once the blue fungus ate all the metals,, the cities fell down… Everything used to be made from metal,, and once it was all gone,, the people started to fighting and there were wars about what was left and almost everyone died because we didn’t know how to live without metals”…

“But what about mom’s copper pot,, she always cooks in??”…”And how come the scientists in the big space house didn’t see it??”…
“Josh,, the blue fungus only eats manmade metals,, metals that man learned how to make from mixing other metals and rocks together,, to form new types of metals…The fungus doesn’t eat natural metals like copper, or gold, or silver,, just manmade metals… And that is what the great cities were mostly made of…
”Why didn’t the scientists find it,, when the men came back from Mars??”… Nobody knows,, maybe it was to small to see,, or maybe they didn’t know what to look for,, because it was a new fungus”…
“What does the story mean,, dad??”…
“I guess it means,, man will never be as smart as he thinks he is”…

“Well, that’s enough for tonight”… “Off to bed you go,, maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you a happier story about a sleeping beauty and a prince who rescues her”……………

CAPTION #6

I WAS A PRINCE AMONG MEN ONCE,,
NOW I'M JUST SOMEONES LUNCH

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A FISH STORY


















…..……………………A FISH STORY…………………
Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, forward now,, onto the water it does splash,,
The bobber hit the water,, what a cast,,
Time for another beer,,
Nibble,, nibble the fish did do,, set the hook real fast,,
Real it in,, then pull it back,, Whizzzzzzzzz,, the fish did slip the hook,,
Behind me now,, the line did go,, into that tree,, it’s stuck in a crook,,
Cut the line and start anew,, a brand new bobber and another brew,,

Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
Into that tree,, once again it did go,,
Time for another brew,,
Cut the line and start anew,, with a brand new bobber,, now let it fly,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
Into that tree,, wouldn’t you know,,
Cut the line and start again,, thread the bobber,, to the line,,
Lets try it slow this time,,

Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, forward now,, into the water it does spin,,
But the bobber did a no show,,
Apon the tree once more did it go,,
Better have another brew,,
Thread the bobber,, to the line,, tie it real tight this time,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
That tree did find my line one more time,,
Time for another beer,,

Whizzzzzzzzz,, back behind me the line does go,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, forward now,, plop into the water it does drop,,
The bobber hit the water,, it was mighty fine,,
Time for another beer,,
Quick tug on the line,, there’s a fish this time,,
Whizzzzzzzzz,, the fish did slip the hook,,
Back behind me the line does go,, into that tree,, yes you know,,
Thread the bobber,, to the line,, What?? No more bobbers,,
Time to go,, lets have a cold one for the road,,

Onto the bank,, to stow the gear,, then to look to the rear,,
The pine tree put on a fine display,,
For within its branches my line did lay,,
Like tinsels sparkling,, on a Christmas night,,
The red and white bobbers were all hung with care,,
And the hooks did twinkle in the air,,
Then I did exclaim, before I drove out of sight,
"MERRY FISHING TO ALL, AND WHERE’S THAT LAST BEER!"…………..

WHAT KIND OF MEN


…………………..WHAT KIND OF MEN………………
What kind of men,, walk about the streets
with their faces covered and only their eyes showing,,
I wish to know,, I wish to be just like them,,
Are they villains,, bank robbers or thieves,,
What kind of men,, carry AK47s in the streets,,
Are they followers of Mohammad,, if so I wish to be just like them,,
What kind of men are these,, that fire mortar shells into the air,,
To land upon the houses and streets,,
I wish to know,, for they are so brave,, I wish to be just like them,,

They are so brave,, and worthy,, I wish to know them,,
I wish to be just like them,,
What kind of men,, strap explosives to their bodies and
hide it under their shirts,, as they walk the streets,,
They are so brave,, and worthy,, I wish to know them,,
What kind of men,, go into the schoolyards and blown
themselves up,, killing the women and children,,
I wish to know them,, I wish to be just like them,,

They are so brave,, so honorable and true,, to Allahs ways,,
What kind of men,, pack their cars with explosives,,
To explode them the day next,, they must be Holy men,,
I wish to be just like them,, I wish to know them,,
What kind of men,, drive their cars into the crowds on the
corner and then blown themselves up,,
Killing and maiming all those who were just walking about,,
They are so brave,, such martyrs they must be,,
I wish to be just like them,,
They are so very brave,, to kill the innocent,,
I wish I was so brave,, I wish I could be just like them,,
What kind of men,, go to the Mosque each day and pray,,
And then load their trucks with dynamite during the night,,
What kind of men are these,, they are so brave,, to drive their
trucks into the market place,, and blown themselves up,,
So brave and true they are,, to the teachings of the Koran,,
They are such worthy men,, to kill so many,, as they shop
for their daily bread,,

What kind of men,, I wish to be just like them,,
What kind of men are these,, that can fire rocket grenades
into the shops and stores,, killing all those that they do not know,,
They are so brave,, and worthy,, do they know of Allahs ways,,
What kind of men are these,, that are so brave and worthy,,
That they take hostages,, and cut the innocent ones heads off
before live TV,, I wish to know them,, I wish to know who there are,,
They are so very very brave,, to slit the throats of the innocent that
are tied up and bound,, so very brave and true,,

What kind of men,, steal the policemens uniform,, and wear it,,
So that they can rush into the police stations and slaughter everyone,,
What kind of men are these,, I wish to know them,,
I wish to have them marry my daughter,, so she can blown herself
up too,, I wish they would teach my sons these bloody ways,,
These men that bring terror every night,, they are so brave,,
worthy,, honorable and true,, to Allahs ways,,

Maybe some day,, they will be gone,, having blown themselves up,,
I pray within the Mosque each day,, that they would go away,,
That apon some marketplace they will not slay my wife or family,,
I pray this every day,, I pray to Allah,, to have these men
go away,, so that I might have a peaceful night………..

CAPTION #2


But,, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east,, and Juilet is the sun...........

Monday, September 3, 2007

THE DUSTY ROAD part 4

THE DUSTY ROAD…………………………….
(the misty forest)
It was time to go now,, to once again travel upon the dusty road,,
for I perhaps had spent too much time along that forgotten mountain
brook,, I had laid about and did very little and many’s a day it was
that I would just laze naked upon the grassy banks,, restoring my
worth and pondering upon what had occurred during my trek thru
the big empty and how I had been helped by another…
I just rested and gathered what I could from this valley,,
I caught fish and smoked them for the miles ahead,, and also did
I gather roots and berries, and wild onions, and wild turnips
I think they were…
But now it was time to once again journey apon this dusty road…
And I wondered unto myself,, have I gone far enough??,, should I
turn back and head home??… This forgotten dusty road,, it did lay
before me,, traveling along this valley until over the horizon it went,,
and the way home was far behind me,, for I had traveled many
a month,, to return home to a cautious life,, or to continue on to
see what was just beyond,, apon this dusty road…

To journey just a little farther,, I had decided,, perhaps just until
the next town,, surely I was stronger and wiser now that I had
crossed the forlorn desert,, and I had survived that trek…
So it was that I gathered up my things,, and once again set my feet
upon that dusty road,, to see what was just ahead…
I was firm and fit once again and I had provisions a plenty,,
but I felt as if I was not as young a man as I once was,, before I did
journey apon that desert’s dusty road,, perhaps wiser was I now…

This dusty road that I was upon now,, was not so different than those
I had traveled upon before,, it did meander along the valley floor and
the sides of this dusty road were not so different than before,,
there were the unmended fences and the tumbled down barns and
the old farmers houses with their overgrown yards,, the clumps of
trees all overrun now… But it felt so strange to me,, this was a very
forgotten place,, along this dusty road…

And apon the next day,, about mid-afternoon I suppose it was,,
the dusty road did lead me to a very dense forest,, then it just
ended there... A forgotten forest,, and it did seem to me to be very
old,, and that no one had been thru this forest in a very long
long time…
There was no way around it that I could see,, so straight ahead
did I go,, thru the brambles and the weedy brushes,, and into the
darkened forest… And once inside this forest a small path did I find,,
perhaps it was just a deer trail that I was following,, but it did take
me thru the trees and it seemed to be heading east…And on this
small path there were many small limbs that had fallen,, and from
them I did pick up a very fine branch that I could fashion into a
walking stick,, it seemed to be very sturdy and from an old oak
tree perhaps… It did help me thru the fallen limbs and the thickets…

The trees in this forest seemed to be very old,, for they were giants
and twisted with age and I was always shaded by their massive
limbs and the canopy that they made,, and cool it was inside
this forest…

Now it began to darken within this forest,, and I was sure that the
end had finally come unto this day…So I looked about for a camping
spot for that nite,, to set myself a fire and rest until the daylight…
And I did find one there that nite among the giant oak trees,,
a massive oak tree did I find along that path,, it was much bigger
than all the rest,, perhaps twice their size,, and its branches did
extend out for many many yards,, so massive were they that they
seemed to hold up the very sky itself,, it may have been the great
grandfather of all the others… And it was there that I did unroll my
cot and I started to prepare for the evenings rest,, so I gathered
some stones and small twigs and branches to start my fire,, so that
I could make my stew upon this nite… And it was during my search
for this kindling that I came across a patch of wild mushrooms,,
that I thought perhaps I’d add to my fish stew… Now I had been
told by many a fine folk to be wary of these wild mushrooms,,
for some of them were poisonous and not to be eaten at all,,
they told me not to pick the ones with the stripped pink tops or
the ones with the brown spots,, and this I did carefully do,,
for I only took the plain colored ones,, thinking that surely they
would be safe,, they looked just like the store bought ones,,
I had eaten many times before…

So it was that I started my nitely routine under that massive
oak tree,, and into my stew,, I threw some of the fish that I had dried
and some of the onions and wild turnips too,, and also did I throw
some of those mushrooms that I had found… A fine stew was I to
have upon this nite,, it didn’t take very long for my stew to begin
to boil and also upon this fire did I set my kettle with some of
Whistling Pete’s very fine tea…Yes, a very fine stew I had that nite,,
one of my better meals I must admit,, and then I just sat back and
pondered upon my journeys and what might lie ahead,, and I also
did some carving of that oak branch that I found,, so I could make
it into a better walking stick…
Just gazing into the fire as it flickered and danced among its embers,,
and then I noticed that the forest was being to turn a hazy blue,,
and it did seem that a rolling misty fog did come upon the forest
floor and among the tree tops,, obscuring all but the nearest trees…
I must be very tired from my journeys…

Then I did see them,, they came upon me,, a creature with
porcupine skin, and a blue face painted with white stripes,,
and atop its head were two yellow birds just sitting there,,
it walked upright upon deer legs and had a gray horses tail,,
and following behind it was a smaller one and some smaller ones
still,, perhaps its’ mate and kids…
Then they set up their camp just a few yards from me,, and then
as I looked even deeper into the mist I could make out more of
these porcupine fellows and their families,, all camped about,,
just peacefully tending to their campfires,, or working on some
animal skins,, and some were just honing their tools as they sat
by their fires…
They did not seem to see me,, but I could plainly see them…
Then thundering hooves did I hear and I saw giant reddish boars
with green feathered goats upon their backs,, and they did scatter
and destroy the camp of these porcupine men,, and then it was
quiet again…So I just sat there under that mighty oak tree,,
staring into my tiny fire and feeling strangely light and dreamy
as if I might just float away…

As I sat there,, a great owl did appear before me,, with its yellow
eyes staring intently at me,, then it did ask me “Who, who, who
are you that wanders upon this path”… I could not answer for my
voice had left me,, I could not move and I just stared blankly at
this great owl before me,, again it asked me “Who, who, who are
you that wanders upon this path”,, but I could do nothing,,
then it did fly away,, leaving behind a spotted brown egg…
Now I did find myself lying upon the ground,, just staring at this
brown spotted egg,, and as I stared at it,, it broke into many pieces
and each piece was the same as all the rest,, like large white pearls
they were,, then they did join together and form a worm like
creature,, and it raised up to see me better,, and suddenly they
just melted into the ground before me,, one by one did they go…
I just lay upon that spot for what seemed like hours,,
just frozen to that ground…

After a time,, I began to hear it coming closer and closer to me,,
thud upon thud did I hear,, like many hooves on the ground,,
and out of the misty haze did it come,, a giant black beetle,, perhaps
three feet tall,, and it came right up to me,, and asked me
“Do you want a ride??”… So it was that I found myself upon this
giant beetles back,, trekking thru the forest that nite,, and then it
asked me “Do you want to fly??”… Up into the sky we went,,
me upon that beetles back,, thru the air,, and above the trees,,
and into the stars it did seem,, a joyful, peaceful ride it was,,
among the stars that nite…
But then I lost my grip,, and I fell from atop that beetles back,,
and Itumbled towards the earth below,, twirling, whirling, spinning
and forever falling thru the darkened nite…

I awoke the next morning,, all huddled against that giant oak tree,,
my fire had gone out and the embers were done,, the birds were
making their early morning songs and the sun was just beginning
to filter thru the trees,, and I had a mighty hangover and
stomachache that morning… So I gathered up my things,,
and again proceeded upon that forest path,, and within a half days
journey I did find myself emerging from that great forest and
now I looked to the horizon itself,, and all I could see was
golden wheat fields before me… But I stopped for a moment to
empty my pack of those mushrooms I had found upon that forest
ground,, no more of these would I brew in my stew...
Once was enough for me……………….

HE CAME UNTO ME


HE CAME UNTO ME…………............
While I was sleeping,, He came unto me
This fisher of men,, did appear within my dream
A carpenters son,, and a holy one was He
The crucified man,, from Galilee
And I saw the wounds upon His hands and feet,
Then He spoke and asked this of me
“Why do you not believe in me??”
And this I did answer to the man from Galilee…

I believe in the teachings that have been written
I have tried to follow them,, I love my mother and father
I have not murdered anyone,,
It has been a long time since I did steal,, but a youth I was then
When I was married,, I didn’t cheat on her
Nor did I try to bed my neighbors wife,, nor take his property
And I do not lie,, without just cause
But I have lied before,, this I do admit…

Then He spoke and asked this of me
“Then why do you not believe in me??”
“These are the laws that my Father has given unto man”
And this I did answer to the man from Galilee
I do not believe in Thee because of the misery I see
I see evil and tyrants upon the hills,, I see what evil can be
Too many have fallen because evil had its way
Too many have been slaughtered and made to pay
Too many,, too many,, too many
“If you be the man from Galilee,, where have you been??”…

And then He spoke and said this to me
“My Father has granted upon mankind,, the gift of free will”
“It is what man asked for,, and that is what my Father did give ye”
“Freedom to choose your own destiny”
"Freedom to choose what path you walk upon”
And this I did answer to the man from Galilee
I know what you say is true,, that Your Father does let us choose
But I also know this,, that mankind is sometimes like a child
And he must be helped and guided to see the right path
And also I know this,, if you be the man from Galilee
That just with the wink of one eye,, You could set us upon the path
With just a gentle breeze from You,, we could be free of tyranny…

Freedom to choose,, is the finest of gifts,, Your Father has given man
But like all children that walk the land,, sometimes we need
A helping hand,, so that we are not burnt with the fire that
Has been lit,, and also I said this,, unto this man from Galilee
Please,, just give unto us,, Your helping hand,, just once in a while
Do not let millions go,, like lambs unto the slaughter
Just whisper into the ears of the heroes,, that be among us
Do not let evil walk so freely upon the land,, bar its path with
Someone from among us,, tis such a simple request
I do not ask for heavens angels to fight for us
Just speak a single word,, and champions will arise
To slay the evil tyrants that I see upon the hills…

And then He looked upon me and smiled,, a fathers smile
Like unto a beloved child,, then I awoke from my slumbers
To a skyblue morning,, and I thought to myself
perhaps I should go to Church this Sunday and see
who it really was that came unto my dream………….........

IF FAIRIES WERE REAL

















…………...IF FAIRIES WERE REAL………….
So marvelous it would be if they were real,,
What a world we would live in,, if they existed,,
And were not just to be found within dusty tomes,,
Oh yes,, it would be so wondrous,, if fairies were real,,
Why can it not be,, that they could be among us,,
I wish it were so,, that the creatures of myth be true,,
Oh yes,, some would be frightful,, and some delightful,,
But what a wondrous place this would be,,
To know that dragons are about and they can fly,,
That fairies, gnomes, trolls, and elves could be found,,
And what of leprechauns and Cyclopes, and mermaids,,
To know that ghosts and hobgoblins walk the nights,,
That sprites fly in the moonlight,, and that there is a
pot of gold at the end of every rainbow…

Wouldn’t it be grand,, if they walked the land,,
To go apon some misty mountain and find them,,
To search for the golden fleece,, and face the hydras teeth,,
To voyage beyond some forbidden zone,, and find where
giants roam,,
And what if there be,, witches and warlocks,, vampires and werewolves,, munchkins and flying monkeys and Cheshire cats,,
Oh yes,, what a wondrous place this would be,,
If knights in shining armor could wake a princess with just a kiss,,
Or we could voyage apon the seven seas and mysteries did abound,,
Or perhaps slay the minotaur within its labyrinth,,
Wouldn’t it be grand, if Gods and demons fought among the clouds…

What a wondrous world this would be,,
But it is not,, perhaps there were such creatures as these,,
But not today,,
Today we spent endless hours apon the highways and byways,,
We toil each day,, forgotten within glass and steel towers,,
And we always look back and wonder what if,,
We search for adventure,, excitement,, and wonders,,
But mostly we find them upon the 50ft screen,, and then we go back,, a little sadder perhaps,, that this world is not filled with creatures to be found apon the misty mountains…

So marvelous it would be if fairies were real,,
What a world we would live in,, if they existed,, not only in our dreams………………………………..

THE KEEP

















…………………………………….THE KEEP……………………………………….
For ten thousand years it has stood upon the banks of Maldengeld…
Its massive stones have withstood the test of time…so massive are they that it would take 500 men to move just one,, it is said that it was built by a race of giants among these granite mountains…
Its walls are perhaps 200 ft high,, with the stones stacked upon one another so tightly that even a joint can not be easily seen,, no doors or opening can be found about its walls,, its walls are made of black obsidian stone,, carried perhaps 500 miles from their quarry…
The rutted path that was made can still be seen,, even after all these
centuries… The stone faces have been ground smooth,, so no one
can scale these walls,, black green moss covers its southern face and
sheets of glare ice coat the other three…

In the granite mountains of Gerfindall,, and upon the glacier lake of Maldegeld it has stood… It has stood against natures mightiest blows,, it has withstood ten thousand years of snow, ice and moving glaciers,, and not a crack can be found along its walls,, this fortress,, this KEEP…It has guarded its secret well against all who have come unto it and tried to break thru its mighty walls,, all have failed…

Now in the half year of Filnhar,, a mighty army of men did come to this KEEP,, to break its walls and to take what was within,,
40 thousand strong were they,, lead by King Lasindarr himself,,
40 thousand strong,, conquerors of all the north lands,, now set upon the task of breaking down these walls and taking the treasure that must lay within… It is said that all the gold, silver and precious stones from all the mountains of Gerfindall lay hidden deep within this KEEP,, enough treasure it is said that each man now before this fortress could buy his own kingdom,, so much treasure is said to lie within,, that to see it all would make men weep,, it is so vast…

So it was that King Lasindarr and his army started to bring their
battering rams and stone throwers against this massive KEEP,,
the walls could not be climbed and they could not be scaled by any
device,, and they were too high for even the tallest of towers,, they could only use their battering rams against these walls…
For six years King Lasindarr and his men kept throwing stones and
banging their mighty rams against the walls,, King Lasindarr was a stubborn man and he would not be defeated by this fortress…
Then it was in the third month of the seventh year of this siege that a
crack started to appear in the wall,, it was time for King Lasindarr to
bring up and use his biggest ram of all,, it took 6 weeks to bring it up
to this mountain top and 6 weeks more to assemble it,, 40 feet tall it was,, with a bulls head made of solid iron,, its horns were 2 feet thick and it was mounted on five solid oak tree trunks,,
perhaps 35 feet long,, it took 100 men to pull back this biggest of battering rams…
For another three months King Lasindarr and his men,, used that giant bulls head against this fortress walls,, and then finally in the first week of the fourth month the wall started to give way,, and a hole 30 ft by 30 ft was finally created thru the massive walls of this KEEP…

Now King Lasindarr and his men poured thru this hole and they searched every room and broke down every door they could find,,
looking for the treasure…Then finally they came to one final last door,, this must be the treasure room King Lasindarr and his men thought,, the door was 20 feet across and 30 feet high made of solid oaken timbers,, it was not hung on hinges,, but had been lowered into a slot in the floor…There was no choice for King Lasindarr but to have his men break thru this door with only their axes and pry bars,, there was no room for a battering ram... 100 hundred men,,
2 at a time took turns swinging their axes against this door,, day and night they worked,, but it did them little good,, for after 1 week,, the door was still there and seemed to be as strong as before they had begun…

King Lasindarr then decided to try a different approach to opening this door,, he would try to burn it down,, King Lasindarr ordered holes to be cut thru the corridors roof and that timbers and firewood be brought and placed against this door,, also three hundred sheep were slaughtered for their fat,, to be used to increase the fires heat…
All this was done and then the door was set on fire,, for 5 days they kept the fire burning red hot,, until finally the massive oaken door within this KEEP gave way,, then King Lasindarr and 100 of his most trusted men entered that room,, a treasure room…
King Lasindarr and his 100 men searched every part of this room but they could find only one thing,, in the center of the room they found it…
A solid gold box,, encrusted with egg sized jewels of every kind,, it sat on a plain wooden altar between 2 great stone griffins,, just this one box was all that was there… King Lasindarr looked at the box with amazement,, its gold shined brighter than any he had seen before,, it reflected the lights of the many torches that were there,, so bright it was that it almost blinded him,, its hinges were fastened with diamond nails,, and its jewels were the biggest he’d ever seen,, there was no hook or lock that he could see... King Lasindarr opened the box carefully and when he did,, dense black smoke came from the box and soon it filled the room and then it was in every part of the fortress,, the ground began to shake and the very mountains moved,, a great chasm opened up beneath the KEEP and everything and everyone fell into it,, all except one of King Lasindarrs men and three small stable boys that had been asleep while tending the horses,, they were Gifinstal,, Trinsder,, Rasolmund,, and Yagantuf,, everything else was cast into that abyss… and it closed behind them as they fell…
King Lasindarr now sits upon a throne of molten rock with great horns upon his head,, and his skin is burnt to a fiery red,, his men all
wait for his commands,, demons they have become,, this is how Hell began,, when King Lasindarr opened that golden box,, you may know him by his other name,, LUCIFER the devil king…

And what became of the four that survived??,, they are still around,,
Gifinstal (hope),, Trinsder (love),, Rasolmund (kindness),, Yagantuf (forgiveness)… They are still with us,, and so is King Lasindarr and his men…………….