Something to ponder on as you wander on


Some liars are born that way, some are self-made; but the really great ones are elected to Congress…
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Monday, July 30, 2007

BUY ME BUY ME

BUY ME BUY ME…………....................
Buy me, buy me, buy me... I’m on sale buy me,, buy me,, buy me…
10%, 20%, 30% off,, I’m on sale,, for today only,, 50% off…
We’re having a midnight sale,, a sell-athon,, 3 days only,,
It’s a holiday sale,, a presidents day sale,, a memorial day sale,,
Christmas is only 362 days away,, put no money down,,
Then put it on layaway,, buy it,, buy it,, buy it,, buy it…
You need this,, you want this,, buy 3 get one free…
First one in the door,, gets a coupon for 20% off…

It’s shiny,, it’s new,, it’s been improved,, it’s now lemon scented...
It’s unscented,, 10% bigger,, 4% smaller,, faster acting,,
Slower release,, it has time capsules,, it’s instant,, it cures dry skin,,
It removes oily residue... Buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it,, no payments
Till next year,, free interest for six months,, buy two,,
Put one in your trunk…
It’s bigger,, it’s smaller,, it’s cleaner,, it’s taller,, hey it’s green...
Buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it,, you need this,,
You can’t live without this,, your neighbors have it,, why not you ??
Buy me, buy me, buy me, buy me, I’ve been improved a total of
147 times,, I’m new... I’m everywhere,, you can’t hide,,
Keep the economy flowing,, keep it going… Buy it, buy it, buy it...

Wear my logo on your chest,, on your butt and on your underwear,,
Put a swoosh on your shoes,, be a walking taking billboard for me…
I’m in your home,, at your work,, on the bus,, on your car,,
In your car,, I’m greatly greatly greatly on your TV,,
I’m on every dial,, and every station…
Hey,, they even did a placement of me in your favorite movie…
I’m on the arena floor,, I’m on the scoreboard,,
And the backboard too,, I’m on the ball,, in the air,, I’m everywhere,,
NASCAR loves me,, hey,, they need bigger cars,, to show off
more of me,, and aren’t the drivers swell ??
They even have me on their lapels…

And now this important announcement from your Congressman…
Buy me, buy me, buy me, buy me,, OK,,OK,, I know what your
Going to say,, "that’s illegal ain’t it”,, well,, yes it is,, kinda,, sort of,,
But hey,, you can,, rent me, rent me, rent me, rent me, rent me…

Sunday, July 29, 2007

MY VACATION

MY VACATION…………............
(when I was only about 6 or so)
We’re starting our vacation in my dads brand new car,,
we’re going to the airport to catch a plane to Miami,,
and when we get to Miami we’re all going to the beach…
But haven’t gone very far,, cause were behind another
car,, and we’re all part of a slow moving caravan…
I don’t think dads very happy with me or my sis,,
“hey she’s touching me”,, “mom tell her to stop”…
Dads not very happy at all,, cause we had to make
a potty stop,, “didn’t I tell you to go, before we left??”
He said,, well we did,, but we still had to go... So we
had to stop at a gas station for just a minute or two,,
it wasn’t very long,, mom got us some chips and soda too...

“hey dad”,, “why are we moving so slow?”,, ”shut up”,,
“and get back in your seat”,, “can’t you see I’m driving?”...
He yelled back at me,, I don’t think dads happy at all…
Wow,, we’re going real real slow,, behind these semis and
everything,, “hey she’s touching me”,, “mom tell her to stop”…
Then dad swerves to the left just a little bit,, to see what’s up ahead,,
wow,, look at all those trucks and cars up there,, and we’re going
real slow…Dads kinda breathing hard,, and his knuckles are all white,,
I guess he thinks we’re going to miss our flight to Miami…
“look dad,, there’s a sign” airport ahead only 40 miles…
I don’t think dads very happy, stuck in this caravan...

Then dad turns just a little to left again,, “hey watch that truck,,
it almost hit us”,, ”shut up”,,“and get back in your seat”,,
“can’t you see I’m driving?”... Well mom is really quiet,, and
shes moved way to the right... I don’t think moms happy either...
I don’t think dads happy,, cause he’s sweating quite a bit and I think
I see steam coming from his ears,,”hey dad,, why have we stopped?”
Then he turns around and looks at me,, his eyes are bulging right
out of his head…“shut up”,, can’t you see I’m driving?”,, he shouted
at me…“hey mom”,, “she’s touching me”,, “tell her to stop”…
Is the air conditioning on?... Wow it’s getting hot back here…

I don’t think dads very happy,, stuck in this caravan…
Cause when he turned to the left just a little bit, for the third time,,
I think he got a little to close to that oncoming semi,,
cause it took off the mirror on my dads brand new car…
I wonder how long we have been just creeping along,,
seems like days and days,, I don’t think I should have drunk
my soda so fast,, now I gotta go wee-wee again,, I wonder
if I should tell dad,, he looks kinda mad,, cause were in this caravan
and all…Moving very very slowly,, if at all…
“hey dad,, there’s a sign” airport ahead only 35 miles to go…

Well,, we finally made it to Miami,, I’m just sitting here on the beach,,
burying my sister in the sand…We were only two hours late,,
and we missed our flight and then had to wait for 4 hours in the airport,,
to catch another one,, I don’t think dads very happy at all…
I hope the car repair man can put the steering wheel back in the
car when we get home…That’s if dad ever let’s go of it….............

IMA RAPPER


IMA RAPPER…………......
Hey,, Ima a rapper,, don’t you know Ima rapper,,
Now on with the show…
Hey,, there video man put that camera down real real low,,
Lets’ shoot a video...

Ima rapper,, Ima rapper,, don’t you know...
Now show the girlie dancers in real slow-mo,,
Cut real quick and back to me,, Ima the star don’t ya know...
Ima rapper,, Ima rapper,, and this is my video...
Did you catch my sign,, I did the arm crossing thing,,
Did you catch it,, I made it real plain,, with thumbs and fingers...
There I did it again...
Ima rapper,, Im a rapper,, I did this video...
It cost me 10 grand,, cause I bought all my friends
To dance in real slow mo...

Ima rapper,, Ima rapper,, and a ghetto gangsta too...
Ima gangsta from the ghetto now you know,,
Hey,, I can rhyme two words in a row...
But not at the same time,, it woulds spoil the video...
Show the dancers butt in real slow mo,, two more times
Did you catch that sign I threw up at you,, watch
I’ll do it again,, crossed my arms with a double flare
I hope you caught what I said just there
Ima rapper,, Ima gangsta from the ghetto don’t you know...

Hey,, see my clothes,, it’s a 102 in downtown LA
So I gots this buffy buffy coat,, that I should be wearing at 10 below
Hey did you catch my shoes,, cost me 5 grand,,
And I don’t even know how to lace em,, I go on trips all the time,,
Hey,, they extra white…
And the swoosh cut me a contract to make my own brand...
Ima rapper,, Ima ghetto gangsta don’t you know
Put that camera down real real low,, time to do the video
Show the dancers butt for the fourth time in real slow mo,,
Cut real quick and back to me,, Ima the star don’t ya know
Hey,, did you see my teeth ain’t they extra nice…
These two are silver,, this one is platinum,,
Did you catch that sign I gave this time
Hey,, did you see my chains,, and my golden jewelry,,
Man Ima MR T from the 70’s,, hey catch this sign,, I did a rhyme...

Hey,, did you see my ride,, I have nine more just like em
Cause I got a big fat recording contact,, at MURDER INC,, all because
Ima rapper,, Ima ghetto gangsta too,, see me sneer as I look at you
Ima rapper,, Ima gangsta from the ghetto don’t you know
Ima millionaire and I live in Bel-Air,, and Im only 20,,
Hey,, did you catch that sign I threw it back at you,,
Hey,, catch my hat its on backwards jack and sideways too
I guess I don’t know which way to go,,
Hey,, catch my pants they’re 8 times too big,,
Hut hey,, their nice and droopy and they hang down real real low,,
Sos I can give you a look see at my round about,,
I ain’t wearing no underwear...

Hey,, video man put that camera down real real low,,
Its time for the video...
The dancers butts a shaking one more time for the show
Hey,, I’m on MTV and MTV 2 that’s all they ever show
Cause they have 24 hours a day to fill,, and it only took
Me a ½ day to film this video,, so just chill,,
I got a million for this swill…
Ima rapper,, Ima ghetto gangsta too,, just like him and him
And him too...
Ima rapper,, Ima rapper,, Ima gangsta from the ghetto
Now its time to picks mea name that will put me
In the rapper gangstas’ hall of fame,,
Hows bout 30cents,, or a buck49,, or bigger smaller,,
Or fatter taller...
Hey,, that sure gots the rhyme...
Ima rapper,, Ima ghetto gangsta,, I use the some old tune
110 times on my videos,, it's the same as him and him and
Him we does it all the time...
Hey,, did you catch my ghetto sign,, I flashed it eight more times…

Aint it grand,, aint it grand,, I made 20 million last year,, cause
Ima rapper,, Ima ghetto gangsta too,, I can’t sing and I can’t rhyme
Put I make the video for MTV to show,, hey,, its time to do it
One more time...
Now video man put that camera down real real low,,
Lets show the dancers butt just 6 more times to fill in the time,,
Cause I can’t talk,, I can’t dance,, I can’t sing and I can’t rhyme,,
But I made 29 million last year…
How much did you make during that time??
Aint it grand,, Ima rapper,, Ima rapper,,
And Ima ghetto gangsta too...................................

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

WORDS

WORDS …….......................
Words they be wondrous things...
Hidden within my keyboard just waiting to spring...
Yes,, words apon the whitened page can conjure,,
many an image for one to ponder,, but I wonder
as I type these words,, made of just 26 letters in
much a variety of displays… Do these words apon this
printed page,, that I so thoughtfully arranged,, do they mean
the same to you as they do to me ??
Or should it be the other way round ??
Only 26 letters have I found,, hidden among the numbers…
Only 26 letters to be found,, but in what wondrous
combinations can they be bound… Some they do rhyme,,
and some others they do chime,, some be frightful,, some quite
delightful,, while others be used by lesser minds,, of cat, hat, rat,
bat and ball, of Jack and Jill upon the hill,, they can use them all...
Words can convey worlds of emotions,, of love and hate,, regret and
remorse, pleasure and sorrow, they can speak to us…
Only 26 letters can there be found... Yes and symbols to make them
expound, to explode, to pause, to rest, to stop and to exclaim…
Only 26 letters not counting the bold, the italic, the times roman,
or the gothic, the bookman, and all the rest… With capitals, vowels,
and consonants we try to fill the whitened page…
Only 26 letters apon my keyboard can I find... But I wonder
as I look apon the black and white images here,,
is the written word mightier than the verbal one ??
Does it provoke us greater or make us weep longer,,
than the oral one ??
Of the verbal word,, I must confess,, for it be only second best…
But of the written word I now say this,, it has a great weakness too,,
for it must be spoken to reach its full potential,, either aloud or
within the minds eye… For without its kin,, it will not last,,
even if apon granite these 26 letters be cast….....................

FORGOTTEN

FORGOTTEN………….............
I try to remember their faces now,, but I can not...
And in my heart the pain lingering still...
Where have they gone??,, I wish to see them now…
When I close my eyes,, I can barely see them…
They were so important to me,, a part of my very life…
Why can I not clearly remember their faces now??…
I remember days gone by,, when we did laugh as one...
And tumble thru forgotten rooms, playing young as kids…
I remember clearly the events of long ago summer days...

Not all were lovers,, as you might be surprised…
Some were friends or family,, and even some where pets upon the lawn…
Where have they gone,, in what forgotten chamber of my mind...
Did I store them??…I wish to recall their faces now…
Some did leave me upon the wind swept shores,,
For they had found another,, that they adored much more…
Some are gone forever,, beyond the golden gates…
My heart remembers,, it still aches,, when I think of them...
Oh,, it is not so terrible an ache as when they left…but ache it does...

When I close my eyes,, I want to see them…
To remember with fondness what has been,, but I can not…
Their faces are obscured now with times’ silken haze…
Oh,, I have photos in the drawers,, upon the walls and in albums somewhere...
But it is not the same,, as when I look behind my eyes…
There they are laughing,, talking,, dancing with me…
Back with me, I would like them to be…
Have I grown so old,, that my mind now chooses to forget??...
Or does the mind choose to protect the fragile heart…
To keep it from aching so…
I wish to remember them now,, not for the pain that they
Gave my heart,, put for the joy they placed within my mind……

EVIL RISING


………………EVIL RISING ……..
Chop off his head,, chop off his head,, he does not pray as I do…
I am the mullah and a fatwa have I decreed...
Back to 1603 we all should be…
We shall have no phones,, no lights,, no motor cars,,
No TVs,, no CDs,, no radios,, no music for I have decreed…
Back to 1603 we all should be…
I am the mullah, and the Koran have I studied…
And I shall say what shall be or is not to be…
“But what shall become of our luxuries?"
Chop off his head, chop off his head...
For he questions what I have said…
I am the mullah and decrees shall I make…
And I alone have decided,, for I have studied…
The Koran far greater than anyone,, I know the ways,,
Of Allah better than you…
“But I have read the Koran too,, and everyday do I pray”
Chop off his head,, chop off his head…
For he questions what I have said…
No more medicines,, no more doctors,, no more hospitals...
No more computers,, no more I-pods,, no more internet...
I am the mullah and this I have decreed...
Back to 1603 it shall be…
You do not pray as I do,, off with your head…
You do not dress as I do,, off with your head…
You do not look as I do,, off with your head…
You do not speak as I do,, off with your head…
You are not from the clan that I am,, off with your head…
I am the mullah,, and the Koran have I studied…
Back to 1603 we all should be…
You are Christian,, off with your head…
You are Jewish,, off with your head…
You are Hindu,, off with your head…
You are Buddhist,, off with your head…
You are Sikh,, off with your head…
You are Shinto,, off with your head…
You are black,, you are red,, you are yellow,,
Off with your head…
I am the mullah,, and the Koran have I studied…
Back to 1603 we all should be…
You will not conform,, you will not reform,, you are not like me...
Off with your head…

I have heard these words before,, 20 million dead because of you...
I have heard these words before,, 50 million dead because of you...
I have heard these words before,, 100 million dead because of you..
Worlds destroyed,, cities burned to the ground,, because of you...
Generations lost forever,, because of you…
Evil wears many faces,, and has many voices, yours is but one…
Evil carries intolerance in one hand and a sword in the other…
........... I HAVE HEARD THESE WORDS BEFORE…….......

Sunday, July 22, 2007

GALAXIES


GALAXIES ……............................
I set my sails among the stars,, to see what is there
A universe of possibilities before me,, along this journey
Worlds to be known,, worlds to avoid,, worlds to gaze upon
Of black holes and nebula do I wander and among spiral galaxies
Wondrous objects they are,, set before me to see…

Of stardust many say we are made of
From the moment of the first big bang
If stardust I be made of,, than I am a stellar being
And I am among my kin,, in this limitless sky
I search among them now,, for a curious human I be...

I set my sails among the stars,, to reach out and explore
A long journey shall it be of many many centuries
But I do not worry about my fate
For wonders abound and I must forever seek
Of alien creatures and strange flora and fauna I wish to know more…

I am a traveler like many before me,, who sailed oceans so deep
With no horizons to guide me,, I must forever go just beyond
No rewards do I seek nor to be remembered in some forgotten tome
I have left my earthly home,, and forever shall I roam
I have set my sails among the stars this night
And this is where I wish to be.................................

WEEDS IN MY GARDEN

WEEDS IN MY GARDEN……...............
Not long ago,, towards the end of June
on a Sunday if I remember,, I had many chores to do,,
one of which was to weed my gardens so that flowers
might grow,, I had neglected them for many days now,,
and the weeds grew very dense,, even at the outer fence...
It was a pleasant day when I started this chore,, of weeding
and tilling,, for not much more could I do…
A beautiful day with not a cloud to be seen and a hue so blue…
As anyone who gardens knows,, weeds they do so like to grow,,
and it’s not a very pleasant task to be rid of them…
There was I dutifully pulling a plenty,, for I had neglected my
garden so,, when upon a chance I did steal a backwards glance,,
twas a commotion up the drive that did disturb me,,
very odd for my drive is well hidden, and can sometimes be found
just by chance... A limo of black did now appear,, all sleek,,
shiny and new,, it grew closer still, and then it proceeded to stop...
I gave it a thoughtful glance,, thinking perchance it might be
someone I knew,, or just a wrong turn did it take and would return
unto it's wake... But it did not do an about,, for it remained in its
place... Well I looked at it for a while,, but I had chores to do,,
so I left it to be alone upon my drive that Sunday in June,,
from where it came I did not care,, they came upon me,,
not the other way round...

So if it was me they wanted to see,, they could get out and give
me a shout…They could plainly see me,, pulling the weeds in
my garden... I resumed my chores not giving them a care…
When the front door it did open and out stepped the driver,,
a fine figure of a young man, all in black was he, with a cap and
gloves to match,,to the rear door he proceeded and opened it he did,,
very carefully,, a hand he offered to the person inside…
Then out stepped a woman,, that was clearly elegant and refined...
Closer to me did she step and upon my walk she halted
I gave a look over,, to see you she was and then I knew her again...
She did look most splendid in a Sunday’s best dress with a bonnet
to shade her pretty face... A Sunday’s best she did wear,,
but not for her,, she clearly could do much the better,, elegant and
trim she was,, with a figure to make many a man’s heart begin
to swoon…
So I arose from my chores,, looking all of sweat and of grime,,
stepped forward did I,, but not as to greet her on this
Sunday in June... It had grown somewhat warmer and the sun
shone much brighter,, so thinking it might be cooler,, I did ask her
to come inside,, a nod she did give and a turn towards my house
to enter,, but not I,, into the garage did I go and with the push of
a button the great door did arise... With a sideways glance I did she
her advance... For I would not welcome her into my home,,
she was not welcomed there... Shady it was and cooler too,,
upon the concrete floor we did stand Man and Woman upon it,,
only 10 feet apart but worlds away...

I be old and I had tired from my labors so a used chair did I
gather for me to rest upon,, but none for her did I offer…
Stand did she upon the floor for a minute or perhaps three,,
while I awaited for an utterance from her...
A smoke did I produce upon this hour,, of sweet nicotine I gratefully
did inhale,, a calming influence it did produce while I awaited,,
for her to explain why,, she had arrived upon my step,,
this Sunday of June...
“My I have one”? She finally uttered,, so I offered her a smoke from
my very own pack, knowing full well she would not partake of
my offer... Just to see a reaction was my reason,, for a smartass
was I being,, I owed her nothing…
“May I have a chair,, please”?,, she said a little perturbed…
“Sure” I said,, “there are many along the wall as you can plainly see”
I did not rise,, tho a gentleman I be,, she turned her head towards
the driver instead and gave just a slight nod... Into my garage he
did stride,, and from along the wall he selected a chair for her to
rest upon,, he dusted it off with his clean white handkerchief,,
and steadied it as she sat down…Then back to his post he did go...

Of smokes I had plenty,, a full pack of almost twenty,, do you see,,
and as I waited for her to speak,, I must have had two more or
perhaps three,, she had called upon me,, you see,, and I was not
to make it easy for her to unveil why she had come on this
Sunday of June…
Well I did wait and nothing did she utter,, perhaps not fully formed
were her thoughts or perhaps she was just searching for the right
phrases to utter... There we sat face to face,, but miles apart
waiting for her to start...
Now I am not a drinking man,, but this day was hot and many weeds
I had fought,, so a little thirsty I was while waiting to find out
her intent... Into the frig I did grab a cold bottle for me,, but none
for her,, for again I owed her nothing,, and nothing would I offer…
“May I have one,, please”? she did ask,, “Sure,, there is more in the
frig" and thus I pointed to it with bottle in hand... Again she nodded,,
and again the driver performed his task,, a cold bottle did he bring,,
and even wiped it clean,, before again departing...
”Sorry no classes or ice I have” I said,, waiting for a reaction,,
I drank my cold brew,, and set the bottle upon the floor,,
she just stared at her own,, the driplets falling down,, and
splashing upon the concrete floor... We sat there very still that
day in June,, I had one more smoke,, and when I was done,,
I began to rise... For I had beds to attend to and weeds to pull,,
“I’m sorry” she softly spoke,, in a whispered tone she did speak…
“I’m sorry too” I said,, in a calm and loving voice,, “I’m sorry too”...
Then I did leave her sitting in my garage,, I had chores to attend to
and weeds to pull,, nothing more needed to be said...

I heard them leave,, but I did not glance,, for I had my gardens to
weed,, I had neglected them for too long...
Upon the completion of my chores,, I once more entered my garage,,
there were the chairs we sat upon,, I put them away,,
the cigarette butts from the floor I did pick up and my empty
bottle too...The untouched bottle that she left upon my dusty floor,,
I did not remove... It remains there still... Empty now,, dusty and
full of critters... I leave it there as a reminder of the weeds that
must be removed from my garden…

THE DUSTY ROAD part1


THE DUSTY ROAD........................
(Whistling Pete)
I give you a story of one journey upon my youth I did take…
I was a lesser man then and I would go here and fro,,
with no particular place to go…
Now it was apon a dusty road than I did meet a fellow traveler
named Pete,, now Pete was a merry old soul and thus we did greet…
”Hello”,, says I,, “Hello” says Pete...
He was going west and I was going east,, and by chance we did
meet apon that dusty road…
Having just met,, we soon did forget the pains in our aching feet,,
“So”,, says Pete,, for he was a jolly old soul,, “what do you know??”
Well we chatted awhile and ate some of my berrycake,,
and then as soon as you would know it was time for us to go…
”Goodbye”,, says I,, “Goodbye”,, says Pete…
To the west he went,, whistling a very fine tune,, to the east I did
continue,, apon that dusty road…
Now this dusty road was really quite narrow,, and not well traveled
at all,, nary a soul did I ever meet,, except for Whistling Pete…
It became quite a while and I had walked many a mile,, so I sat
down apon that dusty road to give myself a rest,, now there was I,,
just sitting by and by,, and having just a little to eat...
When what did I spy??
A very fine kettle,, of some dusty old metal did I…
Now having just passed Pete,, hardly a half day ago,, I thought it
might be his,, so I opened the lid and spied,, but empty it was,,
except for 3 packets of tea inside…
So I gave it a turn and a steady gaze to see what was what and
where it be made… And upon the bottom on this very fine kettle,,
a name did appear,, inscribed into the metal Whistling Pete
it did say,, and upon greater inspection I found that more words
had been written…
So I dusted it off and read it again,, and again,, for I was quite
amazed at what caught my glaze...
For upon the bottom of this very fine kettle were these
words I now speak to you...
This kettle be yours for I leave it behind,, for you were very
kind in sharing your berrycake with me…When you make
yourself some tea,, think of me... Whistling Pete……………

GUARDIANS















Oh say can you see the rockets red glare??
The bombs bursting in air??
Can you hear the bombers overhead??
Or the bullets whizzing by??
Oh say can you see,, the enemy tanks everywhere??
Do you feel tyranny and repression everyplace you go??
Of course you can’t and neither can I…
Do you see the mushroom clouds a glowing??
Does the enemy sleep upon your bed??
Are you made to labor from dawn to dusk under a boiling sun??
Are you carded and herded and shipped to everywhere??
Of course not and neither am I…
For guardians have we,, that let us sleep peacefully thru the night...
Of many shapes,, genders and colors they are,, both young and old...
They do fight for me…Apon distant lands must they go...
So that evil will not grow upon this freedoms soil….
And so it has been from the birth and so it shall be until
the end of all things…..
















Can you see them now??... Among us they walk…
Can you separate them from you or me??
Of course not and neither can I…
For from freedoms bosom they were made,,
the same as you and I...
Guardians of our freedoms and liberties they are...
Into the valley of the shadow of death they will go for us…
Upon the land,, in the air,, and over the sea,,
and yes even under they be...
Forever guarding,, forever watching,, forever striking against
evils forces...
Of many shapes,, genders and colors they be,, both young and old,,
but I know not a single one…

They know of the terrors in the night,, of the rockets red glare,,
and of the bombs bursting in the air,, of bullets whizzing by
and tanks round the bend…
But they go and stand vigilant every night,, every day and every hour…
From them I am given a peaceful sleep,, and apon tomorrow
I will hear children laughing,, see lovers necking on some
shady bench,, or perhaps watch an older pair walking hand in hand
apon this green and sunny land…
All this and much much more have they given me…
Forever guarding,, forever watching,, they guard my liberties…
No metals do they seek,, no awards,, no monuments do they want…
But we shall give it to them,, and with pompous speeches we
shall dedicate…
But for me,, when they come marching home along everymans
street,, I will give them just a salute and a wave,, a welcoming hand,,
and apon a small sign I shall write…
Thank you,, thank you,, guardians of my nights….................

MONSTERS AT MIDNIGHT


MONSTERS AT MIDNIGHT...........................................
I can hear them now,, whispering low,, and creeping nearer,,
I know that they are waiting,, for I’ve seen them before…
They come upon the night you see,, and the midnight hour is almost here…
They hide under my bed,, and in my closet,, shadows on the wall,,
with images that will surely frighten greater men than me…
But mostly I see them within that box set before me,, sitting so patiently,,
I just have to turn it on,, and there they will come,,
sent from everywhere just to frighten me…
I have my remote,, my chips,, and some popcorn too,,
but mostly I have my covers to hide me from their evil eyes…
Oh,, how I love them so,, flickering upon this midnight show...
I love them all… Of Freddy, Jason,
the Mummy, Dracula, and Frankenstein,,
they’re all fiends of mine…

Freddy has a nasty burn and claws that will give you a nasty turn,,
in your dreams he can only appear,,
but what wondrous shapes he can take,, they’re all so gruesome,, upon the darkest hour he likes to appear,, he slashes and crashes and blood does wash,, as he gets them near,, only half asleep,, then by ones,, twos,, and maybe threes he will slay them…
During the midnight hour…

Now Jason is the silent type,, not a man of words is he…
A goalie mask he wears to hide his scornful glare and with a machete
he does his calling,, so if you wish to find him,,
to Crystal Lake you must scurry…
As the sunlight flickers and long shadows it does cast,, he will appear,,
to give you a mighty gash,, perhaps three or even more,,
in the shadows he likes to creep,, silently waiting for you to come by,,
and then he’ll say “HI” with his glistening scythe,, it’s just his style,,
and of gore there will be a plenty…
You are not safe behind that cabin door, do not run
naked into those woods,, be careful now,, he might even get you while you shower…
For it is the midnight hour …

Ah the Mummy,, Dracula and Frankenstein,, they are the classic best… You can find them on almost every day,, at the midnight hour…
But do not be so foolish to run and view the technicolor ones,,
in black and white they should be…

The Mummy he was tightly wrapped with gauze and of linen…
For two thousand years did he slumber,, until some men of learning
did disturb his dusty tomb… Treasures were they seeking and
knowledge too,, as they sacked that forgotten room…
But the Mummy he was awakened and not very amused by they’re taking of the treasures he had guarded…
So upon the desert he did slowly creep,, and into their tents as they did sleep,, for one by one he did make them pay…
For disturbing him at the midnight hour…

Dracula my old fiend… Those eyes,, those eyes they do hypnotize…
Not a gruesome sight he be,, but a Count,, a man of worldliness,,
so fine does he dress,, in a tuxedo and vest…
But beware when he does stare… Those eyes,, those eyes they do hypnotize,, and if your not careful during the twilight hours he might come a calling… For it is blood he seeks,, from a nape as sleek as yours or mine…
Upon reflective mirrors an image he does not cast,, of garlic and the cross he will have none… And sunlight he must always shun,, and the wooden stake too…
He arises from his crypt after sunset and must be back by dawn…
For a creature of the night he be,, and a cursed monster he is…
Forever roaming the blacken night,, for a careless victim to give his bite…
He must devour blood to quench his thirst,, and this he will surely do,,
Upon this the midnight hour…

Poor Frankenstein,, a monster did they make of you,, and not of your own choosing…
From parts that were stolen,, and then reassembled,, this way and that,,
sewn,, and stitched together from dead mens parts were you…
Apon a wooden slab they did resurrect,, with thunderbolts and lighting,,
they gave your heart its start… But my fiend,, your brain it was very sour…
For it hung to long upon the hangmans hour… Thus did they create you
during the stormy night… And not of you own choosing were you brought to be alive,, a brute,, a towering fellow,, of a mad doctors experiment that has gone wrong…
A miracle of science you would have been hailed,, had not the mad doctor failed…
Now alone you walk with nary a friend in sight,, save Igor and perhaps the blind hermit whos door did you chance upon… But of little girls you knew naught…
And now forever will you be hunted by villagers and angry men,,
with pitchforks and fire they do chase you from their sight…
For of little girls you knew naught…
And into the pond did you toss her,,
but like the petals before that did float,, I’m afraid she did not…
Now forever will they chase you and give you no rest….
So come my fiend and be with me for awhile,,
For it is the midnight hour…

Now of many more creepies and ghosties and ghoulies I can tell you…
But I shall tell you now of a new one who stands above the rest…
From a magic puzzle box he comes,, with his friends the Cenobites…
Of ghoulies and ghosties they all are such a ghastly sight,,
and many is the nite they have given me such a fright,,
that under my covers for protection did I scurry…
A man of wondrous prose is he,, and adorned in leather frocks,,
so fine and dandy,, but a Hellraiser he be,, and with eyes of blackness,,
and pins aplenty,, I know that he has no heart,, and will show no remorse…
“ah what games we shall play” he will tell you upon your meeting…
But beware of such silken prose,, for only pain and suffering does he offer,, before he rips your body asunder,, and gleefully will he make you bleed,,
for your soul he wishes to tear apart and devour,,
Upon this the midnight hour…

RANTINGS 0001.....more to come??

MAD RANTINGS OF A MAD SCOTSMAN ……..
(these are my rantings and ravings upon this day,,
if you don’t like them,, Too bad just go away,, or better still take
a pill and chill,, I’ll try not to do any rhyming this time,,
but it’s my dime,, I have the time and it ain’t a crime
(yet) to do some awful rhymes)

Where to start,, where to start,, they are so many,,
I guess I’ll just forge ahead,, and start right here………..

AH,, THE FRENCH………..
Geez what a stench,, why do they hate us so??
Did we not help them against the “HUN”??
And from NAZI tyranny didn’t we set them free??
Never will I set a foot upon that soil,, for Anti-American they
all seem to be... They hate us so,, but hey at least they love our
LA MONEY…come to gay Pairee, stay awhile and spend plenty
on us, then we’ll kick you in the ass and put you on the bus…
What a small nation they are,, but in land,, larger than the rest…
They have given the world so much…
Liberty, Equality, Fraternity (WAS their motto),,
and the Ayatollah Khomeini,, what a great service to the world
they did do,, Ayatollah Khomeini,, begat the Muslim uprising,,
which begat hostage taking,, which begat the Mullah Bullas,,
which begat,, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,, and soon we shall have
a nuclear winter brought to us from Iranian shores…
Thanks a lot froggies…
In their schoolbooks I’m sure it does say,, that Wellington lost and
Napoleon won the day... And should you decide to visit the
“CITY OF LIGHTS”,, don’t forget to pay the meter,, and learn
French before you go,, for English is only second best there……
Geez what a stench…

POLITICIANS…(mainly congress)…..
God you have got to love them…
On Sept 12,, they all did sing and pray,, and said we’re united as one...
On Sept 13,, it was bend over so I can fk you in the bum…
Man what a lot,, nothing but backstabbing, liars, cheats, thieves,
adulterers, double-dealers, snakeoil salesmen,, etc etc…
Never will I shake the hand of a politician,, cause while he’s
shaking my hand he’s taking my wallet,, my shirt and tie,, my
jacket,, my pants,, my socks and shoes and even my underwear,,
all while wearing a double faced grin…
My solution?? Take them out back and shoot em…
Let congress sit empty for a while…How many more laws
do we need anyway??...In someway or another they have got
a law about everything,, how I drive, sleep, work, relax, park,
don’t park, what kinds of clothing I can wear, housing, beaches,
food, entertainment, roads, yard work, vacations, smoking, drinking,
seatbelts, helmets, what I can do inside, what I can do outside,
medicines, hospitals, Medicare, social security, how I retire,
how I die, how I’m born and how I’m laid to rest…I think they
covered just about everything,, and if they haven’t got a law about
something,, I’m sure their working on it now and we’ll have it soon…
God you have got to love them…Boy I sure would like to vote
myself a raise and a pension every year,, and hey,, I don’t even
have to vote on it,, it’s automatic…
I just love watching C-span,, there he is talking away at the podium,,
describing his views about this law or that law,, the camera clearly
shows him,, reading from his papers,, then the camera pans and
tilts to let us all see,, that our marbled halls are empty,,
he’s taking into thin air…Where the hell is all of our elected
representatives??
God you have got to love them…What a much of pious self-serving
a-holes,, I guess the good thing is,, it just shows what a great
country we live in,, because what other country could be so strong,,
with a bunch of morons leading the way………

The PENTAGON………..
I’m not going to say much about this right now,, because we have
a lot of brave men and women overseas doing their duty and
risking their well being and lives for us this very hour…
What I will say is this…It’s a hell of a lot better now than it was in
the Sixties………..Enough said….Lets just pray for the safe and
speedy return of all our guardians to their loved ones here…

HILLARY CLINTON………..
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God...
If I can have just one wish granted before I die….Just don’t
let her into the White House…Please, please, please, please…..

LAWYERS………
Pieces of worm shit…(almost) the lowest of the low…..
Who else can charge you by the minute and get away with it…
Man they just love congress,, pass some more laws that nobody
knows,, except the lawyers of course…
Also see POLITICIANS above,, the names have changed but
the games the same……

LINCOLN ASSIGNATION………..
Lets see now 1864,, shot dead in Ford’s theater…
2007 minus 1864 = 143 yrs……Why are we still “investigating”
This??….The world has changed over many many times since then…
A great leader he was,, yes,, but he’s been buried now for almost
one hundred and fifty years… It’s over,, it makes no difference
what “exactly” happened back then... Everybody who was alive
in 1864 is dead now,, give it a rest,, leave history be,,
and leave the poor guy alone...

KENNEDY ASSIGNATION……….
Talk about second guessing yourself into the grave…
Is nothing ever to be resolved about anything??…
It’s been analyzed,, backwards and forwards, computer generated,
with 3D animation, charts and graphs, bullet sizes, gun types,
police radio noises, the grassy knoll, Magruder tapes, still photos,
line of sight, the book depository, the Warren commission...
It was Oswal, it was Ruby, it was the Cubans, the Mafia,
the Russians... Hey maybe it was suicide…
Or maybe even his wife or VP Johnson….
What about Marilyn Monroe or aliens ??
A great leader he was,, yes,, but he’s been buried now for almost
fifty years… It’s over,, it makes no difference...
What “exactly” happened back then…..give it a rest,,
leave history be,, and leave the poor guy alone...
I hope that in one hundred years their not still “investigating”
this…….(see Lincoln assignation above)......

SMOKING……..
What a PC double standard issue this is…..
Cancer from second hand smoke,, developed after 20 yrs of
breathing in smoky rooms…Who dreamed that one up??
(see lawyers above)
More people are killed by drunks and deceased livers,,
and health problems due to alcohol in one year than die from
cigarettes… Look it up…
And yet we can drink in public, in stadiums, sports areas, bars,
work places... Parks, on planes, and trains, boats and ships,,,
but smoking is forbidden…
I smoke myself,, and have yet to get so loaded on nicotine
from smoking,, that I can’t drive a car,, and I have yet to be so
loaded up from smoking,, that I go get a gun and start shooting
people or maybe myself…
And yet with alcohol,, this type of event happens every single day…
What a pile of PC double standard horse sht…..
As I’ve said,, I smoke myself,, it’s a dirty,, filthy,, smelly habit and
it costs a lot and is harmful to your health for most people…
I do not recommend it to anyone,, but it’s legal and I have yet to
threaten anyone with a broken cigarette in my hand…

ALIENS, ROSWELL, AREA 51, and the MOON LANDINGS……
This is a fun one…..
I thought all the loony bins died with Jim Jones,, or Heaven’s Gate,,
or with David Koresh... Guess not... They keep coming out of the
woodwork...
Alien abductions, sightings, crop circles, flying disks, strange lights
in the sky,, close encounters, no encounters, strange noises,
aliens among us now…
Now let me get this straight,, aliens are here and have been
here before... These people have been out in the sun too long and
have seen way too many space monster movies…….
The edge of the Universe as we can measure it today,, using our
telescopes, x-ray spectrometers, infrared spectrometers,
radio waves, gamma rays,, Etc etc,, is thought to be about
15 Billion light years away from Earth,, that’s with a capital “B”….
It takes approx 14 light years for light from Earth to travel to
the nearest star...
Now you’re telling me that an advanced race of aliens likes to
just “buzz” around this blue pin dot in the vastness of space,,
after spending perhaps ten,, a hundred or maybe ten thousand
life times to get here and don’t say HELLO?? Come on,,
the “prime directive” of no contact is only for TV shows such as
“Star Trek”… What a great idea…
“Come oh honey,, grab the kids,, lets go visit Earth,, laugh at the
funny humans and then munch on a couple of cows”…
”It’ll be great fun,, a Sunday picnic,, we’ll be home in time for
reruns of “I LOVE LUCY”…And even if some advanced race could
find a way around the known laws of space and time,, why come here??...
Out of the billions and billions and billions of possible worlds
out there,, why come here??... Which takes us back to my
first question,, why not say “HELLO”,, why not just say
“LUCY I’M HOME”….
ROSWELL NM... An alien spacecraft crashed lands there in 1947,,
and has been kept on a not-so-secret secret base called AREA 51…
Lets see now that’s about 60 yrs ago,, our government has kept
this under wraps (secret) for sixty yrs… What a joke,,
the US GOVERNMENT,, can’t keep a secret longer that about
15 yrs and then the whole can of nasty smelling beans comes
bubbling out,, and yet we’re to believe that about 8 administrations
has been able to keep this greatest of all secrets,, secret…
Get a grip…..
MOON LANDINGS…..Do you know that there are people
(read that nut cases) in this world who honestly and truly believe
that the moon landings were faked on a back lot in Hollywood...
Nut cases one and all,, they should be rounded up and put away,,
along with their kin, family, relatives, co-workers and anyone,,
who has ever come in contact with these screwballs….
Can’t let these radioactive nutsos infect anyone else,,
and their DNA gene pool should be erased also…

GAS PRICES……….
Stop fkin whining about the high price of gasoline,, you can’t do
anything about it,, whine about something you can change,,
once prices are up they never come down,, you know this as well
as I do... You’ll never ever see gas prices below $1.00 again,,
no matter how big the supply from Ahab the Arab is….
Take a bus, carpool, share a ride, stay home more often,
ride a bike to work, walk to the store (you need it lardbutt America)
telework over the internet...(is that safe??)…

TV…………
Ah,, the biggest time waster of them all,, the glowing cube in our
living rooms,, the boob tube,, the idiot box... Commercial,,
cable and satellite visions upon our walls...
I hardly watch it anymore,, perhaps a movie now and then…
Man it does stinkith…
Can they put something interesting on??,, hell the shows are only
30-60 minutes long... Minus the commercials,, intro and exits,,
there aren’t that many minutes to fill in any one show…
What happened to originality,, diverse ideas,, ENTERTAINMENT…
Variety… OH NO,, Seinfeld works,, lets make ten copies of that,,
and Survival Island,, and Your Fired,, Friends,, Dopes in a House,,
reality reality reality….
That’s not reality,, that’s scripted stupidity... And what the hell
happened to all the “MEN” on TV??
Is it required that they take stupid or idiot pills in the morning,,
or do they just have to be gay??... I wonder what “GUNSMOKE”
would be like,, if it were on TV today…
Would Matt Dillion, Chester and Festus all live together??
Would Miss Kitty rule the Day???... And what about Doc??
Would he have to act more like “STINKY PETE”??
Geez…I hate to think what “RAWHIDE” would be like…
Perhaps “BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN” on a cattle drive??
Can you imagine Clint “make my day” Eastwood,, being really
really friendly with the trail boss…Wait a minute,, I think I’m
going to throw-up… No wonder there are so many more lesbians
now than yesteryear,, just look at how men are portrayed on
the TUBE,, idiots, morons, gay, bumblers, mumblers, stumblers...
One and all... Is there even one male on TV that can make a
complete sentence or tie his own shoelaces... No wonder women
find men less attractive as a mate,, than they used too….
NETWORK NEWS….what a laugh,, haven’t watched it in years
and years... Bad news,, bad news,, bad news,, that’s all they play…
Hey,, it sells papers don’t it… All the bad and none of the good,,
it’s not news reporting,, it’s headline reading... And besides nothing
has really changed in the headlines for the past 20 yrs... Seen it,,
seen it,, heard it,, heard it… It’s the same story’s I heard 20 yrs ago….
The names and faces may have changed but the events are the same…
Fighting in the MIDDLE EAST,, gee haven’t hear that one before,,
genocide and famine in AFRICA,,wow that’s new,, mad bombers,
murderers, rapist, kidnappers, maniacs on the loose,
science gone amuck... Too depressing and it gives me a headache,,
I’ll take reruns of “I LOVE LUCY” anyday…

Well now I’ve done it,, I really do have a headache and I’m sick,,
tired and depressed...
I think I’ll go take a handful of valiums and zonk out for a
couple of days…
Man my head hurts……..

In math the multiplying of two negatives equals a positive….SO….
MAD RANTINGS OF A MAD SCOTSMAN…..
MAD (A NEGATIVE)…TIMES ANOTHER
MAD (A NEGATIVE) EQUALS A POSITIVE……
HEY,, I MUST BE A POSITIVELY MAD SCOTSMAN
WHAT DO YOU KNOW………