YOU KNOW YOUR GETTING OLD WHEN

YOU KNOW YOUR GETTING OLD WHEN……………

1. You know your getting old when you have more hair
on your upper lip than on your head…(applies to men or
to women of Italian decent)…
2. When the hottie receptionist bends over and you don’t look…
3. You wear two pairs of socks and a bathrobe to bed,,
instead of being completely naked…
4. You can only do the horizontal bop once every three months…
5. You don’t care if the snow ever gets shoveled off the sidewalk…
6. You think Metamucil tastes good…
7. You can read the entire New York Times while
sitting on the ceramic throne,, and fake in the crossword
puzzle answers…
8. You let your shirt hang out rather than tuck it in…
9. You don’t go to the beach anymore,, because the last time
you went,, everyone just stared at the white walrus…
10. You went out and bought an Ann Murray CD,, not as a gift for
someone,, but for yourself…
11. You think Stairway To Heaven is a secret roadmap you’ll be
given when you die…
12. You don’t sing along with Bohemian Rhapsody…
13. 9:00 pm is the new 1:00 am…
14. You know what an LP is but have no idea what an MP3 is…
15. You think Hannah Montana,, is a resort town in Montana…
16. It now takes 3 pots of coffee and 4 Mountain Dews to
wake you up…
17. You never go into the Do-It-Yourself isle at Home Depot…
18. You drive at 45 mph instead of 95 mph on the freeway…
19. You use your turn signals…
20. You’ve been called Sir or Mam so many times you think your
in the military…
21. Your now starting to look at mobile home lots in Florida…
22. You don’t take the dog for a walk,, it takes you…
23. You don’t care if you ever get another promotion or raise,,
you just want to lay low until you retire…
24. The question of whether or not you can get into Heaven if your
cremated pops into your head a lot…
25. You put 5 dollars into the collect plate instead of
1 dollar,, hoping you can bribe your way past the Pearly Gates…
26. You think about buying a Mini-Van more than about buying
a Red Lamborghini…
27. Nap time really is nap time…
28. You wish you could sleep as much as your dogs do…
29. Your regular doctor died 12 yrs ago and your new one looks
like Doogie Howser…
30. You tell all your friends how many stool movements
you had today…
31. You don’t get dressed on the weekends anymore,, you just
walk around in your bathrobe and bunny slippers...
32. You know how many flavors of Ex-Lax there are…
33. When getting in or out of bed,,
you creak more than it does………….........................