THE OCEAN

THE OCEAN………………….
The ocean crashes against the land and shore,,
It wishes the land would be no more,,
Forever biting,, tearing,, ripping asunder,,
With waves of tumbling thunder,,
It does make waste upon the rocky land,,
Against the dry ground it grinds and grinds,,
It wishes to be let free of the land that binds,,
Forever swirling,, whirling with all its might,,
Thru skylit days and starry night,,
Against the land it does fight,,

Against the waves the land tries to hold firm,,
Apon its feet the ocean does lash and turn,,
With sandy shores and rocky cliffs,,
It holds against the waters swift,,
The land holds its own,, against the oceans storm,,
With volcanic thunder and lava hot,,
Into the ocean it is reborn when it does drop,,
With land above and land beneath,,
The land now binds the ocean so deep,,

The ocean never ceases to flail against the land,,
With moonlight power it seeks to expand,,
The waters ebb and flow pulling the land to its breast,,
It never does give the land time to rest,,
Ocean meets land,, each in an endless quest,,
Only time will tell,, which shall pass the test,,
The oceans majesty is vast and blue,,
But the land itself can always start anew…………..

TV FALL PREVIEW

"J-ALERT,, J-ALERT,, LONG STORY"
TV FALL PREVIEW…………………….
Just read the Sunday papers fall TV preview section,,
And it’s pretty exciting I can tell you… Here’s just a small sample
of some of the glorious new TV shows that will be coming to the
glowing cube in your living room… Yep,, stupefying new
entertainment shows thought up,, by those 1 million, 2 million,
3 million dollar a year men from La-La land and the New City,,
all of them between the ages of 12 & 14 yrs,, who think that
You-Tube videos are the greatest thing since ding-dongs and
sliced bread…………………

THAT GIRL 2007……
The fantasy adventures of Britney… She gets married,, 45 minutes
later gets divorced,, gets married again,, gets divorced again,,
has two kids,, cuts all her hair off,, goes on drug filled holidays
with her paid for friends (no not those friends),, gets fat,,
forgets how to dance and lip-synch,, loses kids,,
laments why me… All the while being pursued by vicious hordes
of flash-bulb demons…
…Pretty exciting stuff,, somebody sure has a wild imagination to
dream all that fantastic stuff up…
How do the critics rate it??
8 out of 10 stars…WOW………………..

SURVIVAL SUPERMARKET………..
The never ending battle of Susie homemaker,,
lost in the superduper market,, dragging behind her
4 kids,, tied to her waist with dog leases… Watch each week as she
tries to survive in the isles of the superduper,, can she get by the
broken chip and dip sampler dish,, hey,, are those flies in that
chip dip??...
Must be just raisins,, can she race by the two senile geriatrics in
walkers,, going 1 foot per hour,, (the snail wins),, can she get past
the 600 lb lady in the motorized cart now blocking the entire isle,,
watch her as she tries to get by the family of foreign speakers with
their eight kids in the “hot car” shopping carts,, can she convince
the check-out teller,, that her coupons did not expire two weeks ago…
Watch every week,, as she zooms by the fruits,, vegetables,, and
meat counters…
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW...
(6 episodes at least before cancellation).................

HULK’S HEROES……………….
The zany antics of Hulk Hogan and his group of captured
American flyboys,, held captive by the minions of Tokyo Joe,,
in the jungles of Saipan… Watch each week as Hulk and his men
outwit the witless,, sending secret messages to the pacific fleet,,
hiding the radio transmitters in their spandex briefs…
Watch each week as Hulk Hogan has his shirt ripped off
by the guards in a wrestling match… Wow,, a winner…
How do the critics rate it??
4 out of 10 stars…OUUU (not to good)………………..

SPORTS COURT TV………….
Watch the real life “stories” of famous millionaire
sports figures,, as they try to explain,, “I didn’t do nothin”,,
to the judge… Special quest appearances by O. J. Simpson……
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars…NOT GOOD (need a murder trial or something,,
hey,, maybe O. J. can…)………………..

DANCING WITH A CONVICT………
Fantastic step on toes dance steps preformed live,, by fourth string
actors in the 6x6 jail cells of convicted murders,, rapists,,
and thieves…
Watch as Simon,, wearing a black t-shirt that’s three times to small,,
judges and ridicules them... Watch what happens when the lights
go out….. Exciting…
How do the critics rate it??
8 out of 10 stars…WOW…(must be produced by t-shirt Simon)……

THE RAPPER SHOW……….
Presented by Murder Inc… 6 contestants performing live on stage,,
lib-syncing and dancing to the tune of
“george,, george,, george of the jungle”…
Each weeks show ends with Chinese eyed Joan Rivers commenting
on their fashion style…
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars… (hope MTV doesn’t hear about this)……………

BEWITCHED 2007…………
With the Olsen twins as Samantha and Marrin,,
(a lesbian bewitched?? Nagh..)… Also starring
Rosie O’Donnell as the ever meddling wicked mother-in law
of the East… Special guest appearances by the “Donald” as
Uncle Arthur...
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW………………..

6 GAY MEN AND A GEISHA…………
Watch as the geisha and the 6 gay men compete and argue on
how best to clean house….
Brought to you by Johnson & Johnson cleaning products……….
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars…………..

DEATH TALK SHOW……….
A round table discussion about politics and daily news events,,
starring Don Imus,, Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh…
(should be a blood bath)…
How do the critics rate it??
12 out of 10 stars…OH BOY………………..

HOTTY RECEPTIONIST…..
Each week the shows producers find and try to get a
Hotty receptionist onto the casting couch…
Special features include peep-hole cameras and hidden microphones…
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW…(“special” producer videos now
available for $19.95,, must be over 18)……………

MONDAY NIGHT NFL COMMERCIALS…..
Each week your favorite commercials are interrupted by
20 seconds of NFL football action,, brought to you by Lincoln,
Ford, Mercury, Toyota, Chevrolet, Dodge, Nissan and Mercedes Benz…
How do the critics rate it??
20 out of 10 stars…WOW…(critics salaries are paid for by
car makers,, you know)……………..

These are just a few of the great,, stupendous,, mystifying,,
imaginative,, entertaining,, glorious,, rip-roaring,,
thought provoking,, laugh loaded shows that are
on the fall TV schedule…………….

What ever happened to Rod Serling anyway??...
Thank God I have 250 stations of music on DTV………

TO J

TO J……..
Just the other day, yes it was yesterday,,
I was told by a friend of mine,, I’ll call her
“my sister J”,, that my “stories” are too long,,
and that she doesn’t like reading long “stories”…
“my sister J”,, you see,, has the attention span
of a hamster on fire,, and she wears an extra large
“Garfield” button on her lapel,, so with that in mind,,
I thought I’d write a short “story” just for her…..

Sunrise,, it rained,, sunset… the end……….

I hope she can sleep better now after reading my
version of “War and Peace”……phthththththtthh….

THE DUSTY ROAD part 6

THE DUSTY ROAD……………………………
(the miseries)
In the wheat fields I have wandered now for perhaps three days,,
I have finally found a dusty road that seemed mostly to be

heading east… And I think that perhaps I will be thru these wheat

fields soon,, for there seems to be much more about,,

more trees and farms and,, many more roads that cross my path…
Yes,, she is still with me,, that dog that I found along the road,,

I still have to carry her upon by back,, but she is much more

lively now,, and she has gained some weight,, tho she still has

trouble walking upon that back foot of hers,, so I carry her,,

most of the time…
I decided to call her “Joe”,, why not??,, should someone ask,,

Joe is as fine a name as any other,, at night she just lays by the fire,,

always watching me,, maybe she thinks I’ll leave her someday,,
No,, I’m afraid she’s stuck with me… I’m grateful that I found her,,

she makes a fine companion for this trek along this dusty road,,
not so lonely has it become with Joe around…

Another day did we travel thru the wheat fields and when

we emerged,, we found ourselves among green farmlands,,

with pastures on both sides,, or corn fields and maybe soybeans

I think they were... This must be the first time that Joe has every

seen a cow,, for sometimes she barks a lot when they come

within view,, and I have to settle her down,, cause it’s not too good

for my ears… Each day I examine her leg and clean it,,

it seems to be healing well,, and Joe is now moving around more,,

when we sit by the fire,, she’s trying to walk again…

So it was for Joe and I,, as we trekked thru this pasture land

on this dusty road,, a pleasant enough journey...

At least it was for most of the time… But there were days when

the weather would change suddenly,, and we would be caught in

the open with the thunderstorms pouring rain and sometimes

hail apon us,, there was really nothing we could do,, except seek

shelter under some trees,, or just sit down and brace ourselves

against the wind,, at these times I would put Joe under my coat,,

to try and protect her from getting too cold and wet,,

I don’t think she’s well enough yet,, to be out in that type of weather…

In early August it must have been,, we were caught in the open

without much shelter,, it must of rained for three days straight,,
at least it seemed that way,, it was a miserable time,, the road we

were apon become flooded then we had to trek thru the

muddy fields until finally we found an old silo that we could get

shelter from… Not very good shelter,, for the roof and walls did

let the rain in,, and the floor was a muddy mess,, but at least we

were out of the howling wind…
I was able to get us out up from the mud by stacking some fallen

tiles on the ground,, I used a piece of roofing metal to make a
place to lie…
But for 1 ½ days we were stuck in that silo,, with no way to build

a fire and only cold beans and wet biscuits to eat,, it was not a good

couple of days at all,, a rainy,, soggy mess it was…

When the sun did finally appear and the clouds were gone,,

I again started east down that now muddy road,, and I kept Joe

under my shirt,, I don’t think she’s feeling too good,, all that rain

and dampness must not have been very good for her leg,,

I will have to attend to it soon,, as soon as a dry spot can be found

to stay awhile…
Slogging thru this muddy road is not much fun,, the mud sticks to

my boots and must weight ten pounds each by now,,

the August heat is making things very muggy,, and the flies and

bugs are beginning to be a real bother,, I hope this road dries up soon…

Then I saw it up on the hill there,, an old barn,,

somewhere we could take shelter,, at least for a couple of days

and wait for the road to dry outa little more,, I was tired of all this

mud we were going thru…

This old barn apon the road turned out to be the perfect place for us,,

its roof was still good,, there was dry hay inside, and the rain had

not gotten in too much,, so the floor was mostly dry…
So it was that I decided to stay there awhile,, at least until some

of the mud had dried up,, I quickly made a fire so that we might get
dried off and also to make some stew,, we had not eaten a good meal

in over a week,, it was time for a filling meal…

I unpacked my supplies and took stock of what I had left,,

not too good it was…For I only had 2 cans of beans, some old rice,

and just 1 can of flour,, I had no biscuits,, for I never had time

enough during the night to make them,, due to the rain and the mud,,

I will have to pick up some more supplies at the next town we come too…

I cooked up what was left of the supplies and I made as many

biscuits as I could from the flour that was left,, not very many,,

but we ate them all and all the stew too,, Joe then just laid down

in the hay and slept,, I don’t think she’s feeling very well,,

I have to get a good look at her leg soon…

As Joe slept,, I went about trying to clean my clothes to be rid of

the mud and dirt,, for I am a wanderer,, not some tramp or bum,,

and I like to look the best that I can… I was able to clean them as

best I could in an old metal watering trough beside the barn,,

that was half full of rain water,, I used most of the bar soap I had,,

and then I hung them up along some forgotten line in the barn…
I was completely naked now,, and I’m glad no one was about…
I boiled some water to pour into that trough so I could at least
take half a bath,, I then laid in the sun to dry myself and feel the

warm sunshine… I guess I slept for a while,, because when I awoke
Joe was beside me there… Having given myself a bath,, it was now

time to give Joe one too,, I washed her up in that trough and I used

up what was left of my soap,, and I carefully cleaned her leg…
It wasn’t looking very good,, the wound there was starting to swell

and did look very reddish…

Her leg is not very good,, that wound on it is bad,, I’m no doctor

but I know that something has to be done,, and I doubt that there

are any Vets around,, at least none that I can find,,

I’ll have to do something…I can’t just go cutting her leg off,,

I wouldn’t know what I was doing… Well I bound Joes front feet

up and I tied her mouth shut too,, so that she couldn’t jump about

or bite,, for I had an idea of what I could do,, I boiled some water

and cleaned her leg,, and then I cut away what looked like bad pieces

to me,, and then,, this would be the hardest part,, I placed a red

hot iron on the wound to seal it…
It was all that I could think to do,, Joe as you can imagine didn’t

like any of this,, and I think she must of passed-out or something

from the pain,, then I ripped up one of my skirts and boiled it,,

after it cooled I wrapped her leg with it,, I’m going to have to get

some medicine or something for that leg,, or get her to a Vet,,

wherever that is…

I wasn’t feeling too sure about what I did to Joes leg,, I had read
about it somewhere,, but I still needed to get her some medicine…
So I gathered up my gear and headed down that dusty road,,

hoping to find a town nearby,, and buy provisions and maybe some

medicine and be back before Joe could leave or even die…

On the road I was for only perhaps ½ a day went I came upon a

small group of buildings,, and this dusty road did go straight thru it…

A town I suppose… I went into this town to see what it was there

and to see if I could buy any supplies and medicine for Joe...

This town was almost vacant,, with just a few stores open,,

and a small rundown bar,, I guess it was,, no kind of grocery store

could I see… But there was kind of a country store there,,

where people could buy different things,, I went inside,, to see

what was there,, and inside I found some can food supplies and

some dried meat among the fishing poles,, and I found some salve

for wounds it said,, it was for humans but it was the best I could find,,

and also among the shelves I found some tea,,

earl grey I think it was,, these things would have to do,,

until I could buy some more…

As I left the country store and started to walk back to that

old barn where I had left Joe,, hours before,, three men came out

of what was the town bar and they tried to stop me,, they started

to rough house me a bit,, until the bartender told them to

get out of here,, they listened to him,, for he was a big man,,

they were a little drunk and just showing off…

No harm was done to me,, I thanked the bartender and started

upon that dusty road once more,, I was in a hurry to get back to

that old barn,, and to Joe,, so I quickened my pace,, and within a

short time I saw it on the hill,, and soon I would be there…

Then I heard them,, three men on motorcycles came roaring over

the hill and stopped between me and the barn,, these were the same

three men from outside that bar in town… They must of thought

they could have some more fun with me,, and take what little I had,,

I don’t know why,, I have nothing they could use,, and my money

I keep well hidden as for my credit cards,, I doubt they could

ever find them…

They started to shove me about and demanded my money and
to give them everything that I had in my pack,, now I probably

would have given it to them,, because I knew it was nothing

they wanted,, but then the younger man smacked me in the face

with his fist… This he shouldn’t have done,, for it just made

me angry,, and so I hit him along side of his head with my oaken

walking stick and I kicked the middle one right between the legs,,

and hit him in the head too,, but as I was looking at both of them

on the ground there,, the third biker brought out a knife and tried

to stab me with it…
As we were scrambling about,, Joe coming running out the barn

as fast as she could on three legs and bit him on the leg,,

and she didn’t let go,, he let out a painful scream and then I wacked

him over the head too… Now all three bikers were laying

unconscious on the ground,, with Joe still having a hold of that

guys leg,, I had to yell at her a number of times to let go of it…

Well I guess Joe still has a lot of fight left in her after all,,

she just stood there on three legs wagging her tail and I could swear

she was smiling…Before we left that day,, I put some of the salve

on Joes wound,, then wrapped her leg again with pieces of a

new shirt I had bought at that country store…

When we left,, we passed those bikers still asleep on the ground there…

And to make sure they couldn’t come after us for a while,,

I put some holes in their gas tanks,, and threw in some dirt too,,

then threw their keys as far as I could…
And just for good measure I took all their wallets too…
I think Joe and I will head south,, just for a couple of days……………

HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN …………
Boooo,, boooo,, boooo,,
Their coming,, this very night
From 6 till 9 they will give you a fright
I can see them walking thru the pale moonlight
Hobgoblins,, witches,, and devil sprites
Headless demons to give me a fright
Glowing jack-o-lanterns nod about on my lawn
So frightened am I,, they will soon be here
I cower in the corner for I am full of fear
They might find me,, and rip me from ear to ear
Ding dong,, ding dong,, they are here,, very near
Knock knock,, upon my shelter door
I go now to appease them,, I can take it no more
With candy gifts I can make them leave for another door
I am very scared of what might be out there
Knock knock,, upon my shelter door
They keep banging,, banging,, banging
I must answer
Open the door with its rusty hinges
Slowly now open it with care
Sssqqquuuicccck,, Sssqqquuuicccck
Then I did stare apon what is out there
Hobgoblins,, witches,, devils and Jedis are here
“why did the man put the car in the oven??”
A mighty mystic riddle,, they trick me with
I have no answer for them,, I’m too frozen stiff
“to get a hot rod”,, did they chant
Then apon my porch they did a devil dance
With smiling jack-o-lanterns held high to give me a scare
Too frightened am I,, just throw the candy treats into the air
If I do not appease them,, some eggs could come flying
Then perhaps bags of doggie poopie would be left frying
Now I hid in the darkened corner,, just there
Hoping they don’t come again to give me a scare
Hobgoblins,, witches,, and devil sprites
Headless demons walk about this night
Oh,, and yes,, fairy princesses and shinning knights
Can also be seen
For you see,, it’s Halloween……………………..

APON THE NIGHT

APON THE NIGHT………………
Flittering,, flapping,, flyin,, apon the night,,
With fangs of razor sharp and bright,,
They seek a nape to give it a bite,,
Do not hurry do not scurry,, do you scare,,
Hey look out their in your hair,,

Flipping,, streaming apon the night air,,
With eyes of flashing red light,,
Turn about,, now run with fright,,
Before you are caught in a sonic beam,,
Do not worry it is only for one night,,
For you see it is Halloween……..

A TEST

2007 Mensa International Limited.


THIS IS AN INTELLIGENCE TEST
(don't worry it's easy)
Click on button above to start video:

Answers:
(answers are in code; move one letter to left in alphabet to decode,,
Example,, B=A, D=C, F=E, A=Z,, ETC ETC)

IPX NBOZ UJNFT EJE ZPV QVTI CVUUPO??

0-1..........PYGPSE TDIPMBS
2-5..........DPMMFHF HSBEVBUF
6-9..........ZPV XPSL BU NDEPOBMET
10-13.....CSBJOT PG B EFBE DIJDLFO
14-17......ZPV NVTU CF CMPOEF
18- ??.....APNCJF



Tech support: 1-02-2278-5199

A WEEK IN THE LIFE

A WEEK IN THE LIFE…………..
I’ve noticed that in blogland that there are just a few basic
types of blogs,, and they are these:

1: THE ADVERT BLOG: where its filled with cereal box
click me thingies,, click me get two coupons free,,
click me get three coupons free and a pound of cat poop,,
learn how to do your own taxes,, click here,, Viagra,, click here,,
meet hot women who want to meet you,, click here,,….I hate those
sites,, sht I get enough adverts on my TV,, and the thing is they
have disabled the “back button” so you can’t get out,, so you have
to shut down your browser and restart again,, isn’t that nice of them..

2: THE HOW-TO BLOG: this is where you can learn how to crochet
a cozy for your toilet paper,, or make an orange daisy hat,,
something I’ve always wanted to do,, or maybe it’s a site on how to
skin that raccoon you found on the highway,, and make it into some
earmuffs or some mittens for your friends,, these sites are always
very professionally done (not like my site at all),, they have
2 billion bit color photos and black and white diagrams,,
with 1 by 1 by 1 step instructions on how to make things,,
come back next week to learn step two,, and don’t forget to
subscribe to our how-to book club...

3: THE FOREIGN LANGUAGE BLOG: I skip on by these because
I can’t read Egyptian hieroglyphs…

4: THE FUNNY OBSERVATION OF MAN BLOG: I like these the
best,, because they have humorous tales to tell about what happened
when they went on vacation,, or went to the store and were attacked
by three deranged persons in “where’s waldo” costumes,, or they just
make observations on how stupid we all are,, or they just have a
silly story they have written and have now posted for someone like
me to wander by and read,, yes I like these the best...

5: THE DAILY JOURNAL BLOG: where it’s a journal of their daily
events,, there seems to be a lot, a lot of these sites...

So since I haven’t done anything like no.5 above,, I thought I’d tell
you what my daily routine is…
What GT281 does each and every week… its real exciting…not…

MONDAY: I usually get up around 2-3 in the morning because
I really really have to go pee,, do to the fact that I drank coffee all
Sunday night,,(more about that later),, I stand there peeing for
about five minutes with my eyes closed,, hoping the lid is up and
my aim is good…having gotten rid of the twelve cups of coffee
I had the night before,, I stumble into the kitchen and turn on the
coffee pot,, the coffee pot doesn’t have any water or fresh coffee
grounds in it,, so somehow I manage to get that all set up and
working,, I stand there like a Sam Raimi zombie,, with sand
filled eyes waiting for enough coffee to be brewed to fill my cup,,
its always too hot,, hot enough to melt plastic and I immediately
have to spit it out all over the kitchen sink and cabinets,,
putting a new tongue in,, I try it again,, by now I’m awake just
enough to put some water in it so its drinkable,, I now stumble
thru the house and end up on the recliner sofa and pop up the
foot rest and have some coffee,, about 40 minutes later I wake
up with a start because I spilled coffee into my lap while I was
checking for leaks in my eyelids... back to the coffee pot,,
I now turn on DTV and float away listening to 70s-80s oldie goldies,,
I have DTV,, with its 500 channels but I never watch anything,,
I just listen to the music stations,, I pay $95 a month to do that,,
something not quite right there,, I’ll have to check into that later,,
it gets to be about 5 o-clock so I tumble into the shower,, then take
another 5 minute pee and do the sink routine,, get dressed and wait
for that golden moment when its time to head out the door and
to work,, which for me,, is around 10 till 6,, I put the dogs out and
then ten minutes later let them back in again…
I have more coffee while I wait…

When the golden moment arrives I hop into my Columbo mobile
and drive down the highway,, thank God the car knows where
its going,, it only takes about 30 minutes or so to get to work,,
unless of course I get behind the shthead with the cellphone stuck
in his ear,, then it of course takes a lot longer..
sometimes I stop for a $3 egg-Mac-MUFFIN and orange juice,,
sometimes I don’t…getting to work and my cubbie,,
I check my e-mail boxes (all 6 of them),, nothing,,
Now because we’re slow at work I don’t have anything to do,,
I browse thru the internet,, viewing blogs,, news stories,,
jokeland etc,, I try to stay away from the girlie sites,, because
the boss,, has a reader and he can tell where I’ve been on the net..
about 8:00 I step out for a cigarette and watch all the other zombies
stumbling from their cars with Starbucks coffee in hand and into
the building,, some have stopped and got donuts or bagels,,
they never offer me any,, I hate them,, I like bagels,,
stingy bastards.. back to my cubbie…

9:00 go outside and have cigarette,, 10:00,, repeat 9:00,, 11:15,,
Repeat 9:00,, but add stopping to chat with hotty receptionist,,
I like her,, too bad she wouldn’t get naked with me,, she has a
real big mad bomber biker for a boyfriend,, so I have to be careful..
Lunchtime.. normally don’t do lunch,, cuz I’m fat,, return to cubbie
and wander the net.. 1:00,, repeat 9:00,, 2:00 & 3:00,, repeat 9:00,,
throughout the day I hit the vending machines,,
$1 for a 24oz mountain dew,, times four,, .75 for some chez-its,,
(2 chez-its and a bag of stale air),, 3:30,, out the door,,
a drive on the 18 wheeler-clogged freeway and then home,,
greeted at the door by my dogs,, the best “people” I know…

Always happy to see me,, start the coffee pot and let the dogs out,,
hit the couch again,, have some coffee,, I’m awake enough now so
I put the coffee cup on the table by me,, turn on DTV,, and once
again listen to music,, fall asleep,, because my eyeballs have been
burnt out while I was looking at the silicone screen all day,,
about an hour later,, I’m awakened by the dogs scratching on
the door,, oops forgot to let them back in,, go pee for 5 minutes,,
turn on the computer at home and check my e-mail,, none,,
browse thru blogland and the net,, or maybe try to write a
funny story,, to post,, which no one will ever read,, except me,,
have some left-over whatever,, maybe not,, feed the dogs,,
let them back out again around 9:00,, bring em in again about 9:15,,
and then to bed about 9:30… exciting ain’t it…

TUESDAY: repeat Monday
WEDNESDAY: repeat Tuesday or Monday,, you pick
THURSDAY: repeat Monday,, Tuesday or Wednesday,,
adding meeting at work,, which usually gets canceled…
FRIDAY: repeat,, except leave ½ hour early,, because its Friday…
SATURDAY: repeat most of Monday,, except I don’t get dressed,,
I just wander around in my bathrobe,, I’d weed the gardens,,
but the weeds have won that war,, maybe next year,, could pick
some veggies,, but there aren’t any,,
the animals and birds got them all...
SUNDAY: repeat Saturday, except Sunday is movie day,,
meet my sisters at the mall to see the latest wham-bam
special effects killer thriller from La-La land…
sometimes on Sunday,, I get to play handyman at my sisters,,
I don’t get paid for this,, but I do get too have lots of fun in the attic,,
getting sweaty with all the fiberglas insulation sticking to
every inch of me,, what a thrill…

NEW WEEK: repeat all of the above…
Just think,, I have only 15 more years of this until I retire,,
to Mac-Ds,, as a ringer-dinger for your Mac-BURGER…
Now you know the extra exciting world of GT281…
(I hear its going to be made into a movie,, with Brad Pitt as me)

Somebody shoot me please…………………………

RANTINGS #2..........................

I am very very tired of listening and reading about the
looney tooney sand people,, very tired…
And using the term looney tooney,, is an insult to
Bugs bunny, porky pig, daffy duck,, and all the rest,,
because while they made me laugh in every way,,
these looney tooney sand people do not,, they scare me,,
They really do...

Just the other day Ahmadinejad (pronounced im a mad jedaie),,
the third looniest sand flea on the block,, came to the US and spoke
at Columbia University and the UN... What gets me about his “visit”
to Columbia was the fact that he had been invited there to spu forth
his Fked-up view of things by the President of Columbia,,
you know “lets get together and see what your views are”
kind of thing,, amazing,, simply amazing,, lets hope that
Mr. President of Columbia now has his walking papers and his name
removed from the door,, because he’s lost it…To give any wacko
terrorist a forum to spit out his lies should be a capital offense and
you should be put thru a giant blender,, because you’ve just
yelled “fire” in a movie house...
Freedom of speech is one thing,, but inviting a terrorist to do it at
your home,, in front of young adults is another...

Every alum of Columbia,, I hope has now torn up their donation
checks,, have denied even knowing where Columbia is and have
burned all their college sweatshirts… Just as surprising is the fact
that the line to go see this looney tooney sand flea went around
the block…
Come on guys and gals,, your suppose to be the next leaders of
this fair land,, did you expect to confront (im a mad jedaie),,
with your question and answer period in hopes of making him see
the “light”??... The only “light” he wants to see is the mushroom
shaped one hovering over the New City,, which if you don’t
know by now,, is you,, especially if you happen to be from the
Moses family…
Instead of throwing questions at him,, you should have thrown rotten
fruit,, pineapple and coconuts would have been best,, or at least
got up in unison,, turned around,, farted in his general direction,,
and left the room… But you didn’t…You failed…
I give Columbia University and everyone associated with that mess,,
an F minus minus minus,, and I now rescind all your scholarships,,
kick you out New York,, New York,, and I hope you all end up
studying the Canadian mud fly,, for the rest of you life…

You think I’m kidding don’t you??,, just making a humorous
observation on the stupidity of man,, well sorry,, I’m not,,
I stand by everything I said in the words above,, you failed,,
you failed every freedom,, liberty loving person who has ever
been born,, is alive today or who will ever be born…
You stink to high heaven,, and I hope I never meet any of you...
You let a known terrorist walk about your home,,
on freedoms soil,, what you should have done was shoot
him in the head,, why not,, we shoot our own don’t we??
Lincoln, Kennedy, Bobby, King, John,, lets squeeze off a couple of
rounds at the evil ones,, once in a while,, and see what happens…
Do you think I’m being too cruel??,, think of it this way,,
a rapid dog is a rapid dog,, not a pink bunny with Alka Seltzer
foam in its mouth…

Ah,, the UN,, what a fked-up fairy land that is,, full of whishy washy
word manglers,, what a joke it is… Just a place for every nation to
poke a sht covered finger in our eye and say it was our fault,, isn’t it
great that the US is responsible for everything that goes wrong on
this planet...

Wasn’t it great to see (im a mad jedaie),, stand up there at the
podium,, with that stupid smirk on his face and tell everyone
what a peace loving country Iran is,, and their not trying to build
an atomic bomb,, yeah,, right,, pigs have wings,, and the sun always
shines on the dark side of the moon... Hey,, if you believed
anything he said,, I have some very nice land for sale that you
would just love,, in the marinas trench…Yep,, that 400 billion dollar
lab that was built 200 ft underground isn’t for smashing atoms and
spinning centrifuges or anything like that,, geez was I wrong,,
turns out it’s for making ceramic pink bunnies,,
on contract to the Chinese,, what a relief…

It was great finding out that it is the fault of all the western infidels,,
that things are so screwed up around the world,, and that
the holocaust never happened,, Hitler just had bad press that’s all,,
he was just trying to get everyone in line for a nice hot shower and
then they could sit in that nice warm oven to dry off,,
wasn’t that nice of him??... Hitler was just trying to unify everyone
that’s all,, you know to get everyone to think alike,, be alike,,
look alike,, he just got bad press,, and Stalin did too,,
hey,, isn’t that what the OBL wants,,
for everyone to be just like him??...
It was nice to find out that WWII was just a big lie,,
told by the western infidels,, who were financed by
the Jewish Mafia,, so that the Palestinians could be robbed of
their land... I’m glad (im a mad jedaie) cleared all that up for me,,
I was confused,, I never knew that all the movies of the bodies
in the concentration camps was just a Spielberg movie effect,,
he’s Jewish isn’t he??,, see it’s a conspiracy…

I give it five years before we see a glowing mushroom cloud over
Tel-Aviv, or the New City, or somewhere over La La land,,
just five years… That’s why I’ve started to build a real nice
underground shelter in my backyard,, just five years,,
mark by words… Yes,, it will be nice to see the peaceful sand people
throwing atomics our way… Yep,, everyone I know says that Islam
is a peace loving,, kind,, forgiving religion,, I’ve heard that said
many many times,, it’s so peace loving and forgiving in fact,,
that the Shiites and the Sunnis can’t wait to hug each other to death…
My only hope is that on the last day of President Bush’s admin,,
he pushes the red button and makes melted glass out of the
sand people,, “oops,, I guess he pushed the wrong button”,,
I’m sure he was just ordering a pizza,, and while he’s ordering
his “pizza” I hope he gets some fried rice from North Korea and
some fresh dates from Damascus and throws a fireworks party over
the mountains between Pakistan and Afghanistan,,
just so OBL can view them up close and personal like..........

WISHING APON A STAR....................

I wish I could lose 20lbs, and have it stay away,,
I wish I had a bigger…you know….savings account,,
I wish my commercials would stop being interrupted by
stupid TV shows,,
I wish hotsy totsys liked older men with grey hair,,
I wish kids would stop running up to me asking for their
Christmas presents,,
I wish the stores could wait until 2 minutes after Thanksgiving
was over before they set up the Christmas displays,,
I wish people would answer their e-mail that I sent them,, or at
least that I would get an automated message back saying that their
in-box got it,, I hate not knowing whether or not my e-mail was
received or maybe it bounced off the belt of Orion,, was shot at by
Klingons, then intercepted by the Romulans and sold to the Ferengies,, who gave it to the Borg,, and now the Borg have my
e-mail address,,
I wish cell-phones could only be used in an emergency when your
stuck on the freeway,,
I wish the people I work with had more brains than a dead chicken,,
I wish I could play the guitar, or the piano,, not just play,,
but be really really good at it,,
I wish my fingers weren’t so fat, so I would stop hitting two keys at
once,, or maybe it’s the keyboard keys that are too small,,
I wish the Islamic sand people would just magically disappear,, their
Dna is really fk-ed up,, or maybe their brains have been fried
by too much sun,,
I wish the atomics we have,, didn’t come with so much radiation,,
so we could use them on the fruitcakes,,
I wish spell-check really worked,,
I wish I could just lie on a forgotten beach somewhere,, and have
half naked native girls serve me those fruity drinks with the little
umbrellas,,
I wish Sean Connery was still Bond, James Bond,,
I wish some unknown wizard in his garage would invent a substitute
for gasoline,, that anyone could make with just the cleaning chemicals
that are under the kitchen sink,,
I wish the guy in the next cubbie,, wasn’t such a loud talker,,
I don’t need to know about his rectum colon surgery,,
or how stinky his wifes farts are when she drinks coffee,,
or why he let his kids have a nose ring,,
I wish the Raiders really did have a chance of winning the
Super Bowl this year,,
I wish…..well,, the list is endless……………….

I BUILT A BIRD HOUSE

I BUILT A BIRD HOUSE..............................................
I was just sitting in my favorite overstuffed rocking chair,
(not rocking of course,, because it was broken) has been
for seven years,, I think the horse died,, well I was just sitting
there with my 12 pack of warm beer,, watching pro-rastling on my black and white 14” TV,, the color one was broken too…
Watching a steel caged death match featuring,, Triple H,,
the Undertaker,, Machoman Savage and the return of
Hulk Hogan,, it was great as the bodies flew thru the air and gosh there was blood everywhere,, I think the Hulk broke Triple H’s back,, then I heard her sweet “little” voice from the couch over there..
My beauty most fair,, all 350lbs of her,, sitting on the steel
I-beam reinforced couch I made for her this year,, wearing a camouflaged moo-moo she got at the army surplus store,,
I think it was used to cover armored Hum-Vees in the desert wars…
She was reading last months issue of House and Garden,, eating
chocolate covered “gump” bon-bons 4 at a time,, with her 2 lhasa apsos,, and some chips and dip and éclairs too,, by her side… Shes changed just a “little” since we got married,, she used to be a size “0”,, but that was,, oh,, 18 months ago…

“Honey”,, Can you build a bird house for me?”… was her question… Now I have been married quite some time now,, and I’ve learned not to say “NO” to my “honey bunny”,, or frying pans start to come flying and rolling pins really do hurt,, when smashed about your head,, not like in the cartoons,, it really does hurt,, and blood starting oozing,, and stitches are always required…
“Yes,, sweetie pie”,, “I can do that for you”,, I said with a smile…
You see I am quite handy about the house,, I built those shelves on the wall there,, not my fault their not quite square,, I think it was the lumber,, or the paint somehow,, and I built her a “bric-a-brac”
display so she could show off her collection of ceramic pink bunnies to her friends,, (I think it’s junk,, but don’t tell her that,, I want to keep on living for another year or so) it looks very nice,, even tho the openings are not all the same size,, and the middle one slopes just a little to the left,, but that’s the way the plans were I guess,, I also built the coffee table in the living room,, now piled high with empty “bon-bon” boxes,, coke bottles and issues of Harpers Bazaar,, don’t mind the book under that one leg,, it must be the floor that’s out of wack..

With sausage sized fingers she ripped out the pages that showed how to build a pretty bird house just right,, all 17 ½ pages of it…
It had a list of materials,, 3 colored photos,, a plan view,
6 elevations,, exploded parts,, and an isometric,, just for a bird house than was only 8”x8”,, it had 12 pages of instructions,, written in plain English,, Spanish,, and Chinese,, I guess they have birds in China too,, it was masterfully done and showed me “exactly” what to do,, and in sequence too..
I then got off by butt and when right out the door,, as I was passing her on the couch there,, I was bitten by both her
lhasa apsos,, they don’t like me very much,, I guess it’s cuz I kick
em in the butt whenever she’s not looking… Off to the hardware store I went,, in my brand new dodge ram diesel pick-em up truck,, it had dual quads and a V-8 hemi,, it was bright red,, and impressed all my friends,, to the store I went 40 miles away,, had to get some gas tho before I got on the freeway,, it cost me $57.50,, with a coke and two bags of chips…
The materials list I had was quite complete,, it listed everything I could possibly need.. 1 sheet of 3/8” exterior plywood,, $34.40,,
a package of stainless steel nails,, 1” long and some screws,, they were stainless too,, $9.25,, I got a ½ gallon of white paint and some very nice paint brushes,, mine were all used and full of left over paint goo,, $18.75,, a couple of tubes of white caulking was added,, just to make the joints look real nice,, $6.75,, and I needed a 3/8” dowel 4” long,, they didn’t have any that size so I had to get one 8’ long,, $6.95,, I didn’t need any drill bits,, I had some in the garage,, somewhere…

Back home I went,, with all my supplies in the back,, to home and into the garage,, I unloaded it all and placed my supplies against the wall,, you know,, plywood is kind of heavy and awkward too,,
I hope I can put my side mirror back on with some “super-glue”…
I set up my aluminum sawhorses and proceeded to start cutting out the plywood shapes I would need for my “sweetie pie’s” bird house,, I accidentally cut my circular saws electric cord and it knocked me flying thru the air with quite a shock,, landing on the
windshield of my brand new pick-em up truck,, the windshield kinda got broken and smashed,, I guess I’ll have to have that fixed,, my shoes were smoking,, the sides had been blown out and my socks were on fire… Getting down from the hood of my
pick-em up truck,, I stepped on her nephews skateboard and landed on the concrete floor,, with my head hitting the garden tiller and I think I broke my elbow,, the skateboard went rolling down the driveway and got run over by the garbage truck that was picking up the trash at the curb…

The garbage man wasn’t very happy about that,, because when he drove over the skateboard,, it poked a hole in one of his duelies,,
well he came up to me in my garage and knocked out two of my front teeth,, the trash company sent me a bill for the tire,, $400.95,, taxes included… After the garbage man left,, I picked up my two front teeth from the floor and went over to the doctors office in town to have my head looked at and my elbow too,, he was 30 miles away so I had to put more gas in my brand new dodge ram diesel pick-em up truck ,, $39.25,, with a coke and 2 bags of chips… The doc put some stitches in my head,, gave me some real nice pain pills (whoopee),, took some x-rays of my elbow,, then set it in a flexible cast,, $325.95,, I’m sure that my insurance will cover it… Going home from the doctors,, I was stopped by a “friendly” state trooper while I was driving down the highway,, he gave me a ticket for my broken windshield and one for the missing sideview mirror too,, it was real nice of him,, he smiled all the time,, $175.25,, I have to be in court on the 16th…


Back to the garage I went to finish “honey pies” bird house,, I left my pick-em up truck in the driveway,, it wouldn’t take long,, I had
all the pieces cut now,, all I had to do was put them together just like the picture… Looking at the exploded “parts” view and the 6 elevations,, didn’t help much,, so I just put them together as best I could,, it looked kind of alright,, a little white caulking would make the joints just perfect,, all I had left to do was drill a 1 ¼” hole in the front and glue the dowel in and then paint it,, I would be done in no time,, and then I could get back to watching “rastling”…

Well I couldn’t find my drill bits in my garage,, so I had to go back to the hardware store,, I got the spade bit and a 3/8” one too, just to be sure,, $6.35,, had to fill up my pick-em up truck again when I got back home,, $42.87,, with a coke and 2 bags of chips.. I got the drill all set up and started to drill the bird hole with that new 1 ¼” spade bit I got,, then the bit got stuck in my aluminum sawhorse and the drill started to twisting around and around and it wound up the electric cord that I was standing on and it pulled my foot right from under me,, I landed on my butt,, right on the metal garden rake I had left by the wall,, cuz the shed was full…
Well it went right thru my jeans and did it hurt,, blood went flying,, so I went to the doctors again and he stitched up my butt to stop the bleeding and he gave me a tetanus shot too,, and some real big white butt bandages,, $185.15… I finally finished the bird house for my “sweetie pie”,, but rastling was over and I just sat
at the kitchen table on a nice pillow drinking a beer,, then my
“honey bunny” came waddling sideways thru the 4’ wide patio door I had put in,, seems she had to go to the store for some more
chocolate covered “gump” bon-bons,, she got 12 boxes,, that should last her about a day or two,, then she took out of her sack,, a brand new bird house,, she got on sale at the store,,
it only cost $8.95…
And it had red painted hearts on it and green painted vines too,, it was real nice……………………….

THE DUSTY ROAD part5

THE DUSTY ROAD............................................................................

(the wheat fields)
It had been a very strange night that I had when I was in the misty forest,, and now as I looked forward,, I could see nothing before me except golden wheat fields,, from horizon to horizon they were…
Stretching out before me in great waving hues of amber,, and thru this sea of wheat the dusty road did go,, so it was that I found myself within the wheat fields...

I have never been much for farming or for even the small garden plot beside the house,,

I had always been to busy,, for the sowing,, and the weeding and the reaping of the harvest,, it had always been much easier to just pick up what fruits and vegetables that I needed from the corner store… And now I found myself among these tall stands of wheat,, perhaps almost ready for the harvesters to come along and gather them up,, for someones bread I suppose…

As I have said,, I am not much of a farmer and I really do not know of wheat growing and such things,, but this wheat to me did look like it was about ready to be harvested,, it was perhaps 3-4 ft high and of a golden amber color,, just waving back and forth in the gentle breeze,, there were no fence rows about,, it was just planted from the edge of the road ditch,, to as far as the eye could see… It seemed like a vast ocean to me,, for miles and miles did it go,, and so it was that I trekked upon this dusty road…With nothing about me except the wheat fields,, there were no trees about,, no farms and scarcely a sound could be heard except for the rustling noise of the wheat shafts apon one another…

It was perhaps the mid-morning of the second day in the wheat fields that I did come to a “tee” in the road… Now I had mostly been heading in an easterly direction,, since I left the misty forest,, and it was to the east that I wanted to still go,, but this dusty road now did impose upon me to make a decision of which way to go at this junction in the road… I looked to the south,, and saw nothing ahead,, except for more fields and just this road that I was apon,, and I also looked north,, it was the same sight there too,, except perhaps I could just barely make out some tree tops in the far distance there… Perhaps it could be just a small grove of trees that I could rest under for the night,, or perhaps an old farm house,, so I looked once more to the south,, and then I decided to head north,, towards the trees up ahead... At least it would be a different view,, then what I had been walking thru these days,, something different than these wheat fields…

I had perhaps only walked for about an hour or so,, since I left the “tee” in the road,, when I came apon a dead dog in the ditch along the road,, this is always a very sad sight to me,, to see an animal that is dead along the roadside,, perhaps hit by a passing car or truck,,
always such a sad sight… This dog did seem to have been hit by something,, it was perhaps just a year old,, not too long a life it had along this dusty road and in the wheat fields,, a stray perhaps or maybe a family pet that got lost somehow,, I stopped just for a moment,, for I have seen many such animals dead along the road side,, and then I trekked on towards the trees ahead…I had traveled only about fifty feet or so,, when I heard a whimpering moaning sound coming from behind me,, a groaning sound of pain…

Now I am not such a callus man that I could just continue on,, after hearing that moaning sound,, so I returned to that dog in the ditch there… Yes,, it was surely its moaning sound that I heard,, I could hear it plainly now and I could see it just barely breathing there in that weedy ditch…

I have had many dogs when I was a kid growing up and I have always thought that dogs are just the best “people” I know… So with this,, I thought perhaps I could give some final comfort to this dog apon the dusty road,, and then I just sat beside it,, and I tried to comfort it as best I could,, I suspected it didn’t have long to live so I wanted to make it as easy as possible for it…
I gave it some water and some of my biscuits and I examined her as best I could,, I think perhaps she had a broken rear leg,, for it was bent oddly,, and it was still bleeding,, so I bound up its leg and tried to align it as best I knew how,, it did seem to help ease her pain… She was not moaning so much now,, and not once did she try to bite me or even growl at me,, I guess she knew that I was tiring to help her,, to make things easier for her,, before she passed away…

I stayed with this dog there,, for the rest of the day,, and I gently moved her into the wheat field,, onto a bed of wheat shafts that I had formed there on the ground,, for a ditch is no place to die… It was becoming dark now,, and this dog was still just barely breathing,, so it was that I stayed there that night,, I carefully built myself a small fire to make my stew,, being very careful not to build such a fire that I would burn the wheat field,, I made my stew as I had many, many times before,, with wild onions,, wild turnips and this night I opened a can of frank and beans to have along with my biscuits,,, it is what you eat the most,, “hobo stew”,, when you are wandering along the dusty road… As my stew began to heat up,, and its aroma started to fill the air,, I noticed that the dogs eyes did open just a bit,, and perhaps its tail did move,, so that night I ended up sharing my stew with this dog that I had found all battered and bruised upon the ditch there…

When the morning came there was just a gentle misting rain,, and it cooled the air and settled the dust down,, and it made the wheat fields smell like fresh baked bread... The sky was overcast and cloudy,, but not with the type of clouds that would bring thunderstorms,, I figured they would just bring a misting rain thru the day,, not much trouble for me,, just a little cooler perhaps…
I packed up my things and then looked upon the dog that had lied beside me thru the night,, no breathing could I see and she felt cold to my touch,, passed away during the night I guess,, there was not much I could have done for her,, I had done what I could to ease its pain and at least she had a fine last meal,, even if it was only “hobo stew”.. So I left her there among the wheat fields,, I had no way to bury her anyway,, I carried no shovel in my pack,, there was nothing I could do for her now…

I continued my journey north along that dusty road,, to find a road east for that is the direction I wanted to go... and then after about five minutes of walking I suppose it was,, I heard a faint low bark from behind me,, and I turned about,, and there limping along on three legs was that dog I had found the day before,, not so dead after all…
Well I bound up its leg again,, gave her some biscuits to eat,, and I fashioned a crude sling from some old shirts I had,, and I started once again north along that dusty road,, a strange sight I must have been,, me with my crude oaken walking stick,, and a dog apon my back…

Yes what a strange sight we must of made that day………………

TWO BROTHERS

TWO BROTHERS........................................................

It was the day before Christmas and the battle did rage,,
And then a truce was called for the very next day,,
Two brothers met upon the battlefield,, on Christmas day,,
They exchanged photos,, stories,, and letters that day,,
Then upon the battlefield,, they were found,, dead they lay,,
Both shot thru the heart some did say,,
By perhaps a bullet that had gone astray,,
Now side by side they do lay,,
In wooden caskets that their father had made,,
One wore the Yankee blue,, the other,, the Confederate grey,,
Now side by side,, forever do they lay,,
Shot thru the heart some did say,,
But it was really the mother who died that day,,
For she loved them equally in every way,,
Shot thru the heart,, she was,, on that after Christmas day,,
In peaceful slumber do the two brothers lay,,
One wore the Yankee blue,, the other,, the Confederate grey…….

THE LIFEBOAT

THE LIFEBOAT...........................................................
As the sails of the ship were swallowed below the waves,,
Five souls within a tiny lifeboat watched as it disappeared,,
Only five souls left from that ship,,
All together now,, bound within a tiny lifeboat,,
They were cast atop to drift among the waves,,

For many hours,, days,, and years,, were they adrift,,
The first to descend into the waves,, the abyss,, was youth,,
For youth never stays long,,
Then there were only four within this tiny lifeboat,,
The next to go was charity,,
Charity will only stay if all is well and right,,

Atop the endless rolling waves,, only three were left,,
In the darkness, and thru the days and years they drifted on,,
Then humanity slipped from this tiny lifeboat,,
Humanity will only survive so long after things go asunder,,
Now only two souls were left to be cast about by the waves,,
Only two souls left,, the others did not last,,

The tiny lifeboat,, kept on falling and rising among the waves,,
Then finally wisdom left,,
Wisdom would have stayed,, but it becomes weak in the unknown,,
Now only one soul was left,, to stand alone against the waves,,
It will never leave this tiny lifeboat,,

Forever and a day will it stay,,
It will ride among the waves,, and face the blackest nights,,
Never will it leave,, this tiny lifeboat,,
Its name is hope,,
And hope is eternal within the human heart…………………

THE STORMS

THE STORMS.........................................................................

The four horsemen have arisen,, they wait to be called forth now,,
You know them,, these riders of the Apocalypse,,
They wait for the chosen hour,, to bring destruction to all mankind,,
They wait within their darkened tombs,, among the shattered bones
of the men who fought against them,, they are coming soon,,
you know them…

Plague,, sits apon his white horse,, waiting,, he will be the first,,
Famine apon his red horse shall be the second rider to come forth,,
War will come next riding the black one,,
And finally will come the rider of the pale horse,, death for all mankind,,
You know them,, these riders of the Apocalypse…

I have waited 1000 centuries for man to come of age,,
So that you might listen,, and be able to send back these riders from
hells dark heart,,
1000 centuries have I waited to tell you,, that there are four others
that precede these riders of the Apocalypse,, and that is why they
wait,, they wait,, but they are mounted now apon their horses,,
For the hour draws near…

Mankind has finally come of age,, so I can tell you now,, of the
four storms that precede these riders,,
It is from another book that I learned of these storms,,
A book from long,, long, ago,, that I read when I was but a child,,
A book that can only be read thru gossamer wings,,
A book of woe,, death and destruction,, a book of darkness,,
It tells of these four storms,, these four sisters of the riders…

They are among you now,, so that is why I have come to warn you,,
To tell you what you must know,, to warn you of these four storms,,
These four sisters are now sowing the seeds for mans destruction,,
And when the seeds have grown enough,, fed with enough of mankinds blood,,

the four riders will be called forth by their sisters…

All four storms are among mankind now,, gathering their power
from the many,, the few,, the poor,, and the wealthy,,
These sisters are called by many names,,

but I shall call them by their simpler names so that you might know them…

The weakest of these storms,, these sisters,, I call waste,,
She is very thin,, but she is very vast,, you know her,,
Everyday her power grows stronger and stronger,,
She will never be satisfied,, until everything of this earth is consumed
and then thrown away…

Her sister is perhaps just the opposite,, for she gathers everything
unto herself and keeps it,, and will not share it,, she can never me
sated,, always wanting more and more and more,, one is never
enough for her,, I call her greed…

The younger of these sisters I call apathy,, but her youth hides an
awesome power,, for she plants in mens minds the seeds of laziness,,
and indifference… Powerful evils these are in times of suffering…
She causes men not to care about the fates of others,, to cause men
not to reach out and help one another in times of strife,,
She plants the seed of laziness,, so that men will not go out and
strive for a days worth,, men begin to think that they need do nothing
at all,, that all will be brought to them,, that life is easy…

Now the oldest sister of these storms,, is also the most powerful,,
She has been around a long,, long time and has driven mankind into
madness many times before,, and has caused many to fall into the
dark realm of hatred,, she is called prejudice…

She is the most powerful of these four storms that plague mankind,,

she is the one to most watch out for…

She casts evil and darkness upon the very soul of man,,

she causes brother to kill brother,, neighbors to hate neighbors,,

and nations to fight nations…

These are the four storms that precede the riders of the Apocalypse,,
They are among you now,, growing stronger and stronger every day,,
and that is why I have come,, to give you this warning,,

to let you know,, that these storms are rising,,

and they have never been as strong as they are now…

Look to the horizons,, and look within your soul,, it is not too late to
banish these storms,, to make them lie down,, it is not too late…
But I must warn you again,,

that the clock is about to strike the midnight hour,,

and then all will be laid to waste…
The four horsemen of the Apocalypse,, will be called forth,,

and then darkness and evil will be upon every land………………………….

AND THE LADY WEPT

AND THE LADY WEPT..........................
Near the oceans freedom shore she stands,,
With her golden torch in hand,,
Lighting the way to the promised land,,

She stands amid the oceans glistening waves,,
Against all the evils that come this way,,
She holds her golden torch up high,,
So that all can see its golden light apon the sky,,
Never does she waver,, never does she let the light die,,

An evil serpent thing,, from hells dark realm,,
Satans bastard son,, with forked tongue,,
Set his evil cursed eyes upon the lady fair,,
And he gathered up, some worthless ones,,
For an evil plan that he thought should be done,,
With twisted lies and twisted tongue,,
He plied them in every way,, for evil was his trade,,
Go to the land far away and steal the silver birds he did say,,
And this they did that bluesky morning day,,

Four giant silver birds were taken amid-flight,,
Then guided to the towers and to the guardians home,,
3 gossamer eagles did come tumbling down,,
But one was taken back,, from the evil ones spawn,,
Taken back by heroes that were brave and strong,,
They would not let evil have its way that day,,
And now in heroes graves they do lay,,

The lady with the golden torch did weep and cry,,
Many tears did fall from the sky,,
Not for the dollar damage that was done,,
But for the killing of the innocent young,,
Satans bastard son had a small victory that day,,
An evil twisted serpent he was,,
To say that to kill the innocent was his cause,,

Satans bastard son then slithered away,,
Under his worm infested rock and into his cave,,
Then apon the silicone display he did say,,
It was I who made the young pay,, I am glad for that day,,
Just wait,, just wait,, many more worthless ones,,
Will I gather up for another day,,

Many apon the sand were gleeful that this evil had been done,,
Into the streets and byways they went,, singing songs,,
Singing in praise the name of Satans bastard son,,
Satans bastard son spoke out with his twisted evil tongue,,
And many worthless ones did believe his lies that he spun,,

But nothing should be believed that is said by Satans bastard son,,
The lady with the golden torch still stands,,
She did not falter,, she did not cower before the evil one,,
She did not plead for mercy,, from Satans bastard son,,
She just wept for the murdered innocent ones,,

Against all the evils that come her way,,
She holds her golden torch up higher,, and higher,,
So that all can see its golden light that will not go away,,
Never does she waver,, never does she let the light die,,
Never will she bend or bow before an evil serpents lie,,
Her knee will never touch the ground,, for here does freedom rise,,
Many have tested the ladys golden light,,
They have flung their evil weapons both by day and by night,,
The lady still stands with her torch so bright,,

Stars will fall from the heavens,,
Moons will be cast into the abyss,,
Galaxies will turn and tumble,,
But the lady with the golden torch,,
Can not be made to humble,,
Her golden light will forever be bright and clear,,
Her light shines brighter now,, than before evil had its way,,
She stands near the oceans freedom shore,, for eternity,,
And her golden light shines clear for all humanity…….........

TOMORROW

……………………………….TOMORROW……………………………
Yesterday is gone,, today is today,, tomorrow may never come,,
Today is today,, not yesterday,, look to today for tomorrow,,
Yesterday passed this way and is now today,, tomorrow is yet to be,,
Tomorrow will never come for it will be today,, not yesterday,,
Yesterday can not be tomorrow,, for it would be today,,
Yesterday is gone,, today is today,, tomorrow may never come,,
………..huh?????????...........

Did you get all that??,,
Yeah I got it all right,,
Well??,,
Well,, what??,,
Did you understand it??,,
Yeah,, I understood it,,…..mostly,,
What do you mean mostly??,,
Well,, it’s kind of confusing,, you know,,
No it’s not,, it’s very simple,, read it again,,
Do you get it now??,,
Well,, ah no,,
It’s very simple,, Yesterday is gone,, today is today,,
tomorrow may never come,, got it??,,
Well yeah,, kinda,,
What’s so confusing??,,
It’s all those todays being yesterday and then tomorrow,,
Yeah,, what about em??,,
It’s confusing,, that’s all,,
Well it doesn’t confuse me,,
It don’t huh??,,
No,,
Well,, if you know so much,, then answer me this,,
Ok,, what is it??,,
Who’s on first??................................................

MY HERO

MY HERO………………
Then she did ask me,,
If you could be anyone who would you be??,,
Now this question to me,,
Did seem to be as dumb as could be,,
For there is only one hero that I’d like to be,,
So I told her of my hero so she could plainly see...

He is not like the most of us apon this land,,
He lives in the mountains,, cities,, in the forests,,
And yes even in the desert sand,,
He has been on every continent,,
Even apon the sub-artic did he stand,,
He is a movie star apon the big big screen,,
He has an Oscar and a star on the walk of fame…

Yes,, apon the big big screen he has been,,
And on the little one too,, just for me and you,,
You have seen him I know you have,,
Apon the air,, land and sea he can be seen,,
He even went back in time and to the future he has been,,
He has been to planets in outer space,,
And fought the Martian for the human race,,
He has given many just a good good laugh,,
For he is sometimes Looney Tuney…

He has fought the Nazis and Tokyo Joe,,
Against fire breathing dragons,, red haired monsters and witches,,
Against the two gun Sam and the bottle genie he has fought,,
From wandering hunters he presses his luck,,
But he is no wacky duck,,
Against the Wile one and the hapless Fudd,,
Apon the stage in the Valkyreis,, Figaro and the Barber of Seville,,
He even bested El Toro in the bullfight arena mud,,
It has all been quite a thrill,,
He has run amok,, and out quipped them all...

Thru darkest Africa,, and the Sahara sands he has been,,
In the army,, navy and marines he was seen,,
There apon the silver screen,, quite the hero in every show,,
He is my hero I can tell you so,, for he is always funny,,
My hero if you’d like to know,, is that waskilly wabbit,,
Bugs Bunny………

What's up Doc??...................................

CAPTION #18

NOT MACARONI & CHEESE
FOR DINNER AGAIN............

LADY NOT IN RED

………LADY NOT IN RED……..
Everyday I see her,,
Just sitting there apon the
green couched bus chair,,
Every day she is there,,
As I go to work ,, I try not to stare,,
She is a beauty oh,, most fair,,

But it does puzzle me so,,
When I see her each day just there,,
It puzzles me about what she does wear,,
Each day when I stride by her sitting there,,
I can not help put notice that only white and black
does she ever wear,,
Or maybe sometimes it is black and white
she does wear with care,,

And even apon her raven locks there,,
blonde streaks have been placed about her hair..
No frilly dresses of pink or blue,,
nor even green or the light yellow hue,,
No poka dots did I every spot,,
and never an animal print apon her did I view..
No,, no,, only the black and white would do..

And as I stared at her just ponderin one day,,
I noticed apon her cheek did lay,,
A sparkling jewel was playfully hidden away,,
It sparkled and twinkled when in the days light,,
It had been pierced just there with very much care..
But I still wondered,, why oh why,,
only the black and white did she wear…...............

CAPTION #13

I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT,,
TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT................

THE WHITE BALL

THE WHITE BALL………………………
Whack apon the ball,, up into the air the tee did fly,,
Pity me for the ball did go awry,,
It went into the air,, I know not where,,
Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,, I did go,,
Looking for my ball,, don’t you know,,

Whack apon the ground,, strike one,, score it two,,
Whack apon the ball and the ground,,
Into the rough it did bound,,
Just lying there in the rough apon the ground,,

Whack apon the ball once more,,
Score it four upon the card,,
Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,,
Into the sand I now stood,,

Whack apon the ball in the trap,,
Oops,, it did roll back,, score it five,,
Up into the air the ball did slip,,
Landing apon the waters lip,,

Whack,, whack,, apon the ball,,
Score it six and seven apon the card,,
Into the pond the wedge was cast,,
Ain’t that a blast..

Thru the fairways,, roughs and woods,, I did go,,
Unto the ball where it stood,,
Apon the first cut of green,, it did lie,,
A gentle chip and a little flip,,
The ball did glide past the hole,,
And unto the other side,,

Score the card with an eight,,
Chip the ball unto the green,, now it can be seen,,
Apon the green,, pull the flag,,
Now to putt a 50ft lag to the flag,,
20ft past the cup,, time for another putt,,

Score it 10 upon the scorecard,,
Putt once more,, towards the cup,,
The ball went by,, now what’s up,,
Only 5 feet more for this putt,,
Just two putts more and then into the cup,,

Score the score a 14,,
Only seventeen more to go,,
Before watering hole #19,,
Gosh,, I’m glad that was just a par 3……………

TO MARS AND THE END

TO MARS AND THE END ……………..
“Tell us a story daddy” the kids asked…
“Nagh, not tonight, it’s time for bed”…
“Please, please” they pleaded…
“Well,, alright,, but just one,, then off to bed,, OK??
“Yeah,, yeah,, we’ll be good”…
“OK,, what story would you like to hear tonight?,, how about the one with the pirates and the buried treasure?...
“No no,, we want to hear about the Mars mission and why the cities are gone”…
“I’ve told you that one about a hundred times now,, are you sure you want to hear it again??...
“Yes,, yes,, we want to hear about what happened”…
“Yeah,, I suppose I should keep telling you that story,, so that you’ll remember it and you’ll tell your kids about how mankind fell,, and how we ended up in these caves… I want you to remember this story…

“OK,, gather around closer,, and I will tell you what happened”…
“This is the same story my father told me a long time ago,, and his father told him and his father told him,, so listen carefully and you’ll know what happened”…
All the children gathered about the fire to listen to the story of
Mankinds fall from the heavens,, they had been told it many times before… But it was important that they remember,, so that they too could tell this story of long long ago…

Then the bearded man began to tell the story…

It was a long time ago,, man was a great builder and had just started to reach out into the stars... And he built great cities and had seemed to have overcome everything that was in his path…But this did not happen overnight,, it took many centuries for mankind to learn how to do things,, and to use his mind to improve his everyday life,, and he was very good at this,, so in time he became the master of all that was about this earth…He built great cities and roads and ships and planes and cars,, and everything that one could think of…

“What’s a car???...What’s a plane?? The kids asked…
“Well a car,, is kind of like one of our wagons,, but it didn’t have horses to pull it,, it had metal parts that moved,, and when they moved,, the car would go along the roads”…
“Oh”… the kids said,, still confused
“And a plane was kind of like a car,, except it flew in the air”
“Wow”,, the kids gasped…

Now,, as I was saying,, mankind seemed to have conquered just about everything,, he had learned so much that he could do and go anywhere he wanted…He learned to live everywhere,, in the deserts,, in the mountains, on the oceans and even under the water,, and the scientists were always coming up with new inventions and they were even able to make medicines that kept diseases away…
“What’s a scientist??” a kid asked…
“Ahem”,, do you mind if I tell the story???... ”Well a scientist is a very very smart man and he could use his brain to find out all kinds of things”…

Well,, mankind became so smart,, that one day they looked up into the stars and then they decided to build ships that would take them there,, and they gathered their scientists together and they built giant rocket ships that could get them to the stars…
And then one day they finally sent men to the moon,, way up there,, and then they brought them home…
“Wow”,, the kids gasped…
And the scientists were very careful,, so they kept these men in a special room,, just to make sure that they didn’t bring back any bugs from the moon,, and after many weeks,, the scientists decided that everything was safe,, so they let these men out… And they had big parades and parties to celebrate this great event,, and after awhile they sent more men to the moon and brought them back again…

Then man became so smart that he decided to build a great big house in space,, so that the scientists could learn more… And they kept making the space house bigger and bigger,, until finally it was big enough so that a lot of scientists could live up there for a very long time…They did scientists stuff up there,, and they took measurements of all kinds of things…
And they did this for many many years,, and then one day,, the scientists decided to send some men to Mars,, and to bring them back…
“Which one is Mars??”…
“I’ve shown it to you”…”it’s the red one”…
“Why did they want to go to Mars??”…
“I guess,, they wanted to know what was there,, and to see what it was like,,” …”Maybe they thought,, that there was some kind of life up there”…
It took a long time for the scientists to build a giant rocket ship and to find out how to get there…
And when they had built their rocket ship,, they sent seven men to Mars,, it took about a year for them to get there and when they landed safely all the scientists were very happy… And these seven men stayed on Mars for about another year,, before they came back home…

“Did they find anything up there??...
“Nope,, just a lot of rocks and some frozen water,, I guess,, but they did lots of tests and things while they were there”…
Then on their way home,, the men stopped at the big space house and waited for about two weeks to make sure they didn’t bring back any bugs from Mars… And the scientists did all kinds of tests on them and looked at them very closely to make sure they were safe… So after the scientists did all the testing they could think of,, they sent these seven men back to earth… And they had big parades and parties to celebrate,, just like when men went to the moon…

Well it was about two months after they landed that things started to happen…First the big space house started to get holes in it and things kept falling apart and they couldn’t fix the holes fast enough,, then the big space house exploded and killed all the scientists that were up there... Then the space ship that went to Mars started to get big holes in it too,, and finally it was almost completely eaten away,, by the blue fungus…

“The blue fungus??.. You mean like that stuff over there??...
“Yes,, that’s right Josh,, just like that blue fungus”…
“You see kids,, that blue fungus is not from earth,, it was brought back from Mars with those seven men,, and it is what caused all the great cities to fall down”…
“That fungus??”…”It doesn’t hurt anyone,, mom even puts it in our stews”…Josh said…
“That’s right Josh,, it doesn’t hurt us,, and it doesn’t hurt the animals or the plants or anything else”…
“Then how did it make the cities fall down??,, and hurt everyone??”
“It’s harmless,, to you and me,, but it likes to eat metals,, all kinds of metals… And the great cities were built using metal and once the blue fungus ate all the metals,, the cities fell down… Everything used to be made from metal,, and once it was all gone,, the people started to fighting and there were wars about what was left and almost everyone died because we didn’t know how to live without metals”…

“But what about mom’s copper pot,, she always cooks in??”…”And how come the scientists in the big space house didn’t see it??”…
“Josh,, the blue fungus only eats manmade metals,, metals that man learned how to make from mixing other metals and rocks together,, to form new types of metals…The fungus doesn’t eat natural metals like copper, or gold, or silver,, just manmade metals… And that is what the great cities were mostly made of…
”Why didn’t the scientists find it,, when the men came back from Mars??”… Nobody knows,, maybe it was to small to see,, or maybe they didn’t know what to look for,, because it was a new fungus”…
“What does the story mean,, dad??”…
“I guess it means,, man will never be as smart as he thinks he is”…

“Well, that’s enough for tonight”… “Off to bed you go,, maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you a happier story about a sleeping beauty and a prince who rescues her”……………