TV FALL PREVIEW

"J-ALERT,, J-ALERT,, LONG STORY"
TV FALL PREVIEW…………………….
Just read the Sunday papers fall TV preview section,,
And it’s pretty exciting I can tell you… Here’s just a small sample
of some of the glorious new TV shows that will be coming to the
glowing cube in your living room… Yep,, stupefying new
entertainment shows thought up,, by those 1 million, 2 million,
3 million dollar a year men from La-La land and the New City,,
all of them between the ages of 12 & 14 yrs,, who think that
You-Tube videos are the greatest thing since ding-dongs and
sliced bread…………………

THAT GIRL 2007……
The fantasy adventures of Britney… She gets married,, 45 minutes
later gets divorced,, gets married again,, gets divorced again,,
has two kids,, cuts all her hair off,, goes on drug filled holidays
with her paid for friends (no not those friends),, gets fat,,
forgets how to dance and lip-synch,, loses kids,,
laments why me… All the while being pursued by vicious hordes
of flash-bulb demons…
…Pretty exciting stuff,, somebody sure has a wild imagination to
dream all that fantastic stuff up…
How do the critics rate it??
8 out of 10 stars…WOW………………..

SURVIVAL SUPERMARKET………..
The never ending battle of Susie homemaker,,
lost in the superduper market,, dragging behind her
4 kids,, tied to her waist with dog leases… Watch each week as she
tries to survive in the isles of the superduper,, can she get by the
broken chip and dip sampler dish,, hey,, are those flies in that
chip dip??...
Must be just raisins,, can she race by the two senile geriatrics in
walkers,, going 1 foot per hour,, (the snail wins),, can she get past
the 600 lb lady in the motorized cart now blocking the entire isle,,
watch her as she tries to get by the family of foreign speakers with
their eight kids in the “hot car” shopping carts,, can she convince
the check-out teller,, that her coupons did not expire two weeks ago…
Watch every week,, as she zooms by the fruits,, vegetables,, and
meat counters…
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW...
(6 episodes at least before cancellation).................

HULK’S HEROES……………….
The zany antics of Hulk Hogan and his group of captured
American flyboys,, held captive by the minions of Tokyo Joe,,
in the jungles of Saipan… Watch each week as Hulk and his men
outwit the witless,, sending secret messages to the pacific fleet,,
hiding the radio transmitters in their spandex briefs…
Watch each week as Hulk Hogan has his shirt ripped off
by the guards in a wrestling match… Wow,, a winner…
How do the critics rate it??
4 out of 10 stars…OUUU (not to good)………………..

SPORTS COURT TV………….
Watch the real life “stories” of famous millionaire
sports figures,, as they try to explain,, “I didn’t do nothin”,,
to the judge… Special quest appearances by O. J. Simpson……
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars…NOT GOOD (need a murder trial or something,,
hey,, maybe O. J. can…)………………..

DANCING WITH A CONVICT………
Fantastic step on toes dance steps preformed live,, by fourth string
actors in the 6x6 jail cells of convicted murders,, rapists,,
and thieves…
Watch as Simon,, wearing a black t-shirt that’s three times to small,,
judges and ridicules them... Watch what happens when the lights
go out….. Exciting…
How do the critics rate it??
8 out of 10 stars…WOW…(must be produced by t-shirt Simon)……

THE RAPPER SHOW……….
Presented by Murder Inc… 6 contestants performing live on stage,,
lib-syncing and dancing to the tune of
“george,, george,, george of the jungle”…
Each weeks show ends with Chinese eyed Joan Rivers commenting
on their fashion style…
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars… (hope MTV doesn’t hear about this)……………

BEWITCHED 2007…………
With the Olsen twins as Samantha and Marrin,,
(a lesbian bewitched?? Nagh..)… Also starring
Rosie O’Donnell as the ever meddling wicked mother-in law
of the East… Special guest appearances by the “Donald” as
Uncle Arthur...
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW………………..

6 GAY MEN AND A GEISHA…………
Watch as the geisha and the 6 gay men compete and argue on
how best to clean house….
Brought to you by Johnson & Johnson cleaning products……….
How do the critics rate it??
2 out of 10 stars…………..

DEATH TALK SHOW……….
A round table discussion about politics and daily news events,,
starring Don Imus,, Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh…
(should be a blood bath)…
How do the critics rate it??
12 out of 10 stars…OH BOY………………..

HOTTY RECEPTIONIST…..
Each week the shows producers find and try to get a
Hotty receptionist onto the casting couch…
Special features include peep-hole cameras and hidden microphones…
How do the critics rate it??
10 out of 10 stars…WOW…(“special” producer videos now
available for $19.95,, must be over 18)……………

MONDAY NIGHT NFL COMMERCIALS…..
Each week your favorite commercials are interrupted by
20 seconds of NFL football action,, brought to you by Lincoln,
Ford, Mercury, Toyota, Chevrolet, Dodge, Nissan and Mercedes Benz…
How do the critics rate it??
20 out of 10 stars…WOW…(critics salaries are paid for by
car makers,, you know)……………..

These are just a few of the great,, stupendous,, mystifying,,
imaginative,, entertaining,, glorious,, rip-roaring,,
thought provoking,, laugh loaded shows that are
on the fall TV schedule…………….

What ever happened to Rod Serling anyway??...
Thank God I have 250 stations of music on DTV………