Something to ponder on as you wander on

Some liars are born that way, some are self-made; but the really great ones are elected to Congress…

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


NOT A CLUE………………………………
The manner of this death was most foul and a mystery indeed,,
so it was that Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were called to solve
the riddle of this murder most foul…

The day had been hot and muggy as the guests arrived at
Mr. Boddy’s mansion,, Hill House Manor was its formal name…
All the locals just called it the Heathen House,, for there always
seemed to be a party going every night,, and there was going to be
a party this night too… They had all been invited there by
Mr. Boddy,, for dinner and a charade party... Colonel Mustard was
the first to arrive,, with Miss Scarlet by his side... He arrived in an
old 84 Jimmie pickup that had rusted fenders and a large dent on
the drivers side,, Colonel Mustard was known to be a heavy drinker
and sometimes would cruise thru peoples front yards,, or maybe hit
a tree or something,, and end up sleeping inside the police station
for a couple of nights…

Professor Plum arrived about a half past five,, looking very stern
and glum as usual... He was the English professor at
Stilldoor University,, just 20 miles or so away... Always a stickler
for the use of “proper” English punctuation and speaking was he...
A real pain in the asse,, all the faculty and students often said...
Mrs. White and Mrs. Peacock arrived together in Mrs. Peacock’s
brand new white caddy... Both wore richly detailed dresses
this night,, for a glad party it was expected to be... Mrs. White
wore a shimmering blue cocktail affair with a sequined purse
and shoes to match,, Mrs. Peacock wore a silky red dress that
flowed effortlessly when she walked,, both were as pretty as
could be…The townsfolk all thought that there was something
strange about these two,, for they were always seen together,,
laughing and giggling,, happy as you please...

Mr. Green arrived perhaps about an hour later,, late as usual...
Driving his green BMW,, for green was his name and green was
his favorite color too... He owned the luxury sports car dealership
in town,, and a local bar too... “SPORTS CARS ON THE GREEN”,,
and “THE GREEN BAR”,, they were called,, not very imaginative
names were these... Mr. Green was a widower,, around his late
50s or so,, but he was never without female company if he
wanted it,, for he was loaded with dough,, and liked to show
himself off... The guests were all greeted at the door by the butler
Wadsworth and each were lead into the great conservatory of
Mr. Boddy,, drinks and hors-d’oeuvres were available to all,,
and as each guest arrived,, their chatting and laughter became
louder and louder,, all expected a great diner and a pleasant time
playing charades… Diner was to be served at around 7:30,,
so there was time to sit and chat until the butler arrived to escort
them to the dining room... The day had been hot and muggy,,
but now a summer storm had arrived... Flashes of lighting and
thunder with heavy constant rain now started to disrupt the
evenings party...

The lights of Hill House Manor began flickering on and off,,
then suddenly the house went dark and only the lighting flashes
illuminated the conservatory... Some candles were lit and they
gave the room an eerie glow with flickering images cast against
every wall... All the guests spoke quietly now,, watching the
lighting show and waiting for Wadsworth to replace the fuses,,
and then they could continue with their festivities... It only took
about 5-10 minutes or so for Wadsworth to replace the fuses,,
and once again the house was brightly lit... Suddenly Wadsworth
rushed into the conservatory...
“He’s dead... He’s dead”...
“Who’s dead,, speak up man,, who’s dead?”,, Colonel Mustard
“He’s dead,, Mr. Boddy’s dead”,, Wadsworth exclaimed,,
trying to catch his breath...
“What?,, where?,, was everyones question...
“In the billiard room,, just down the hall”…
Rushing past Wadsworth,, everyone hurried thru the doorway
and into the billiard room,, all except Wadsworth,, who stayed
behind and made himself a strong drink of scotch...
All the guests now gathered around the body of Mr. Boddy,,
lying on top of the billiard table with a knife in his back...
Everyone was appalled to see such a sight,, their host just lying
there with blood dripping onto the green felt...

This is the murder that Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were
called to solve... Who would do this murder most foul?...
Wadsworth greeted Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson at the front
door and immediately escorted them into the billiard room,,
all the guests were asked to return to the conservatory and wait,,
and to touch nothing until Holmes and Watson could talk to them...
Dr. Watson quickly proceeded to examine the body,, the knife was
a plain kitchen carving knife about 6 inches long,, it still had some
turkey skin about the handle and was thrust deeply into the back
of Mr. Boddy,, near the middle of his shoulder blades...
Dr. Watson had to remove the knife in order to turn the body over,,
and under the body he found a candlestick holder,, with the candle
still in it,, its wax was still soft around the wick... Examining the
body further,, Dr. Watson discovered rope burns around the
neck of Mr. Boddy,, still fresh and some rope fibers around
his collar...
Searching thru the pockets of Mr. Boddy,, Watson found a small
revolver that had not been fired recently,, and in Mr. Boddy’s
wallet he found numerous love letters,, which appeared to be
written in a women’s handwriting,, he gave these letters to
Holmes for his examination...

While Dr. Watson was examining the body,, Holmes went about
the room searching for clues to this murder most foul...
Holmes quietly and methodically searched every inch of the
billiard room looking for clues,, even going so far as to crawl
along the carpeted floor with his magnifying glass searching for
even the tiniest of objects... In the smoldering ashes of the
fireplace along the west wall he found a pipe wrench that had
been tossed into the burning logs,, he carefully removed it and
examined it closely,, then set it on the billiard table... He also
found a lead pipe which had been hidden under the divan,,
it had fresh hair and blood on it,, and it seemed to match the
wound on Mr. Boddys head that Dr. Watson had recently found,,
he placed this on the billiard table too...

A murder most foul in this billiard room... Nothing else could
Holmes and Dr. Watson find on the body or in the billiard room,,
that might give clues to who had done this evil deed…
The body was left there that night on the billiard table,, along with
the revolver, candlestick, knife, the wrench and the lead pipe...
Holmes and Dr. Watson then went into the conservatory to
question the guests that were there that evening...
Holmes went about questioning each of the guests,, while Watson
waited and watched... Holmes first questioned Miss Scarlet and
showed her the letters they had found,, then he led her into the
library,, which was just thru the door to the west so he could
question her in private,, so the others could not hear her answers...
Watson stayed behind to observe the other guests and discern
what he could of their reactions on this night...
From the library muffled moaning sounds could be heard while
Holmes questioned Miss Scarlet,, and thumping noises too...
Sherlock Holmes and Miss Scarlet were in the library for perhaps
10 minutes,, then Miss Scarlet returned to the conservatory,,
her hair was tussled about and her clothes looked somewhat
misshapen... Holmes remained in the doorway of the library,,
looking somewhat out of breath... Holmes then motioned to
Mrs. White to join him in the library for her question and answer
session... Mrs. White would not go,, she was afraid and she would
only go if Mrs. Peacock was allowed to come with her...
Holmes agreed to her request,, and closed the library door behind
them as they entered...
Again muffled moaning sounds could be heard while Holmes
questioned Mrs. White and Mrs. Peacock,, and again there were
thumping noises... After about 20 minutes this time,, the library
door opened and Mrs. White and Mrs. Scarlet returned into the
conservatory,, and again their hair and clothing looked just
slightly out of order...

Holmes followed the two women into the conservatory,, and made
himself a stiff drink,, then sat down in the overstuffed chair in the
corner by the fireplace,, looking somewhat exhausted,, he then
asked Dr. Watson to question the remaining guests,, and this
Watson did,, taking each in turn into the library for questioning,,
each session lasted only perhaps 5 minutes or so…

“What’s going on here?,, what’s this all about?”,,
said chief inspector Colombo as he stood in the conservatory
door way...
Wadsworth,, the butler,, had also called the police that night,,
soon after calling Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson…
Inspector Colombo now took control of the crime scene and all
those in Hill House Manor... He and his men went about
examining all the rooms, the body, the weapons, and requestioned
all the guests,, including Holmes and Dr. Watson...

Case file #4567-345: City of Los Angliees
Murder of Mr. Samuel Boddy
Dr. Watson was convicted of murder in the second degree,,
his fingerprints were the only ones found on the murder weapon,,
he was sentenced to 20 years,, with no chance of parole…
Sherlock Holmes was convicted of tampering with evidence and
with “tampering” with the female guests,, he was sentenced to
7 years,, and then extradited out of the country...

But if you ask me,, I think the butler did it…………………

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