NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS………….Well, its that time of year again,, time for my new years resolutions…
I hope I do better this year,, I only kept two of last
years resolutions………
1. Find a cure for politicianitosis…
2. Find a use for snot…
3. Clone myself so I can annoy more than one person at a time…
4. Get a raise so I can make more money than a dead gerbil…
5. Prove that Rosie O’Donnell is really a space alien from Roswell…
6. Start a collection of celebrity toenail clippings…
7. Write the great American novel and put it on You-Tube…
8. Move to somewhere that people will like me,, maybe the
Mojave desert…
9. Install Astroturf in my yard,, so I don’t have to mow again…
10. Buy an AK47,, incase my neighbors annoy me…
11. Make sure Hillary Dillary is elected so that the whole world
can hate her too…
12. Secede from my family so my sisters will stop asking me to fix
things at their house…
13. Take down the Christmas lights before July…
14. Write a book about why I like French people,,
nagh I don’t like French people…
15. Annoy my co-workers at work more…
16. Annoy more bloggers with my witty comments…
17. Become black so I can be a rapper and make gazillions for
doing really bad songs…
18. Use a flamethrower to remove Hillary Dillary bumper stickers…
19. Capture a LDS and make him convert to Kwanzaa…
20. Write a computer OS that everyone will hate as much
as Windows…
21. Change my underwear and socks more than once a month…
22. Put a cow catcher on my car,, damn pedestrians…
23. Start a campaign to get Plaid named the new Green…
24. Put more dead fish in my aquarium…
25. Shoot everybody with a Bluetooth in their ear,,
this ain’t Star Trek…
26. Remember to keep my girlfriend from cooking…
27. Piss more people off,, so I can be happy too…
28. Smack a Wallyworld greeter…
29. Not return my shopping cart,, no one else does…
30. Write a virus to put on Yahoo,, so they wouldn’t run anymore
stories about Britney…
31. Paint myself fluorescent yellow and run around naked at night
just to get my neighbors to say WTF………................
15 comments:
I like the anti-Britney Virus on Yahoo. Please do it soon!
to MtM:
High praise,, high praise indeed coming from a no-nosed
Martian midget invader,, whos only purpose in life is to blow up Earth so he can get a better view of a Naked Venus…
Working on #30 now,, all I have to do is find my Little Orphan Annie decoder ring and I’m set………
Wow I like #31! but why did you quit at 31???
To Catz:
You like glowing naked yellow men huh?...
I stopped because my stories are toooooooooooo long,, and my keyboard ran out of ink.....
Happy New Year you ol' curmudgeon!
To Catz:
You peeked...I guess I'll have to keep my bedroom drapes closed...
GT281:
I happen to catch your comment on Bob's Blackholes and Astrostuff blog, so I decided to read your stuff. Interesting, but you look more like a Boris Karloff than a hotrod GT281. I'll be reading your articles, so keep up the good work.
To Swubird:
Thank you for your kind comments,, but you seem to be confused,, the first hotrod 281 was built in
1959,, by two Mormon monks in Duluth…I was assembled in 1932,, in Pittsburgh,, Boston,, and Groom lake,, refitted with bionic whatnots ,,gizmos,, and left over mars bar wrappers in 1974,, my power supply is pure warthog butt gas and I am not due for refitting until the year 2112,, after the sun explodes in a spectacular display of flaming Twinkies…. Welcome to the “family”,, oh and the sub-atomic ray shield over your eyes will not protect you from what I put on my pages,, cuz my words are stinky poo,, and will make your brain hurt like a bunny rabbit with a 500lb woman
(or man,, don’t want to be PC incorrect around here) sitting on it,, cuz they enter thru your nose and ears…
That’s classified so destroy this comment after reading…you have fifteen seconds …from….now….
Is #16 reallllly possible? ;) And when #31 takes place...make sure it makes it to youtube & send me the link :D
To Drowsey:
i see that you and Catz have similar thoughts...you naughty girls.........
Lol Not 25!! I sleep with my bluetooth on, no literally, I forgot to take it off one night, didnt notice till I turned over on that side, I was so out of it I thought I had an ear infection.
to Bob:
its true tho ain't it?...
look back at the original Star Trek... we now have two of their gizmos among us,, the flip-up communicator,, and the ear peice phone...i'm just hoping that soon,, very soon i can get a Phaser
of my very own,, and do some selective disinegrating,, mainly at work...
did you start hearing voices in your head?....
I want to do number 31. I think I should wait a couple of years, however
to Lydia:
You know that if you keep reading my Blog
your brain will melt….Best be careful and only
do it a little at a time…..
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