. …….MEDICAL ALERT……
News flash,,,…… this just in from the CDC….
A strange new affliction has been sweeping the nation,
and countries abroad….the CDC has issued a severe
Medical Alert to all hospitals, medical clinics and to all
American Embassies overseas…..
The CDC has classified this new affliction as non-contagious,
and has named it CELLIEPHONEISELBOWHURTIS…
Persons afflicted with this aliment, exhibit the following signs…
....Arm always bent at an upward angle towards the left or right ear…
....Continuous blabbering when no one is there….
....Extreme ignorance of those around them…
....Inability to stand in line for long periods of time without
....producing a distinct ringing tone….
....Inability to drive and eat a MCMUFFIN at the same time…
....Sudden stopping and muttering in grocery isles….
....Inability to write checks with one hand….
....Strange glowing objects with little numbers found about the
....right or left ear…
…WARNING…WARNING…
The CDC has issued the following guidelines for all persons who find themselves within three feet of those afflicted…
....1. Runaway, runaway, runaway
....2. Take immediate action, remove the strange glowing object
from the victims ear, and stomp on it quickly to limit exposure
....3. Runaway, runaway, runaway
....4. When driving behind an afflicted person, immediately pull over
to the roadside and wait until all emergency vehicles have left
the crash area
....5. If a victim is found to be muttering and mumbling in the grocery isle, it is advised that you immediately ram the victim with your shopping cart, hopefully causing the afflicted person to drop the strange glowing object, and then you can proceed to smash it into itsy bitsy pieces with the frozen turkey, you should carry at all times,, (for just such emergencies)
....6. If you should hear a distinct ringing tone, while at the movies,,
News flash,,,…… this just in from the CDC….
A strange new affliction has been sweeping the nation,
and countries abroad….the CDC has issued a severe
Medical Alert to all hospitals, medical clinics and to all
American Embassies overseas…..
The CDC has classified this new affliction as non-contagious,
and has named it CELLIEPHONEISELBOWHURTIS…
Persons afflicted with this aliment, exhibit the following signs…
....Arm always bent at an upward angle towards the left or right ear…
....Continuous blabbering when no one is there….
....Extreme ignorance of those around them…
....Inability to stand in line for long periods of time without
....producing a distinct ringing tone….
....Inability to drive and eat a MCMUFFIN at the same time…
....Sudden stopping and muttering in grocery isles….
....Inability to write checks with one hand….
....Strange glowing objects with little numbers found about the
....right or left ear…
…WARNING…WARNING…
The CDC has issued the following guidelines for all persons who find themselves within three feet of those afflicted…
....1. Runaway, runaway, runaway
....2. Take immediate action, remove the strange glowing object
from the victims ear, and stomp on it quickly to limit exposure
....3. Runaway, runaway, runaway
....4. When driving behind an afflicted person, immediately pull over
to the roadside and wait until all emergency vehicles have left
the crash area
....5. If a victim is found to be muttering and mumbling in the grocery isle, it is advised that you immediately ram the victim with your shopping cart, hopefully causing the afflicted person to drop the strange glowing object, and then you can proceed to smash it into itsy bitsy pieces with the frozen turkey, you should carry at all times,, (for just such emergencies)
....6. If you should hear a distinct ringing tone, while at the movies,,
it is now permitted under FEDERAL LAW, to dowse the ringing with a large cup of cola….
....7. If the actions listed above fail,,, runaway, runaway, runaway
…WARNING…WARNING…
....7. If the actions listed above fail,,, runaway, runaway, runaway
…WARNING…WARNING…
1 comment:
I love it!!! LMAO I shall apply these tactics as I happen upon such incidents!
Kris :)
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