RANTINGS 0001.....more to come??

MAD RANTINGS OF A MAD SCOTSMAN ……..
(these are my rantings and ravings upon this day,,
if you don’t like them,, Too bad just go away,, or better still take
a pill and chill,, I’ll try not to do any rhyming this time,,
but it’s my dime,, I have the time and it ain’t a crime
(yet) to do some awful rhymes)

Where to start,, where to start,, they are so many,,
I guess I’ll just forge ahead,, and start right here………..

AH,, THE FRENCH………..
Geez what a stench,, why do they hate us so??
Did we not help them against the “HUN”??
And from NAZI tyranny didn’t we set them free??
Never will I set a foot upon that soil,, for Anti-American they
all seem to be... They hate us so,, but hey at least they love our
LA MONEY…come to gay Pairee, stay awhile and spend plenty
on us, then we’ll kick you in the ass and put you on the bus…
What a small nation they are,, but in land,, larger than the rest…
They have given the world so much…
Liberty, Equality, Fraternity (WAS their motto),,
and the Ayatollah Khomeini,, what a great service to the world
they did do,, Ayatollah Khomeini,, begat the Muslim uprising,,
which begat hostage taking,, which begat the Mullah Bullas,,
which begat,, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,, and soon we shall have
a nuclear winter brought to us from Iranian shores…
Thanks a lot froggies…
In their schoolbooks I’m sure it does say,, that Wellington lost and
Napoleon won the day... And should you decide to visit the
“CITY OF LIGHTS”,, don’t forget to pay the meter,, and learn
French before you go,, for English is only second best there……
Geez what a stench…

POLITICIANS…(mainly congress)…..
God you have got to love them…
On Sept 12,, they all did sing and pray,, and said we’re united as one...
On Sept 13,, it was bend over so I can fk you in the bum…
Man what a lot,, nothing but backstabbing, liars, cheats, thieves,
adulterers, double-dealers, snakeoil salesmen,, etc etc…
Never will I shake the hand of a politician,, cause while he’s
shaking my hand he’s taking my wallet,, my shirt and tie,, my
jacket,, my pants,, my socks and shoes and even my underwear,,
all while wearing a double faced grin…
My solution?? Take them out back and shoot em…
Let congress sit empty for a while…How many more laws
do we need anyway??...In someway or another they have got
a law about everything,, how I drive, sleep, work, relax, park,
don’t park, what kinds of clothing I can wear, housing, beaches,
food, entertainment, roads, yard work, vacations, smoking, drinking,
seatbelts, helmets, what I can do inside, what I can do outside,
medicines, hospitals, Medicare, social security, how I retire,
how I die, how I’m born and how I’m laid to rest…I think they
covered just about everything,, and if they haven’t got a law about
something,, I’m sure their working on it now and we’ll have it soon…
God you have got to love them…Boy I sure would like to vote
myself a raise and a pension every year,, and hey,, I don’t even
have to vote on it,, it’s automatic…
I just love watching C-span,, there he is talking away at the podium,,
describing his views about this law or that law,, the camera clearly
shows him,, reading from his papers,, then the camera pans and
tilts to let us all see,, that our marbled halls are empty,,
he’s taking into thin air…Where the hell is all of our elected
representatives??
God you have got to love them…What a much of pious self-serving
a-holes,, I guess the good thing is,, it just shows what a great
country we live in,, because what other country could be so strong,,
with a bunch of morons leading the way………

The PENTAGON………..
I’m not going to say much about this right now,, because we have
a lot of brave men and women overseas doing their duty and
risking their well being and lives for us this very hour…
What I will say is this…It’s a hell of a lot better now than it was in
the Sixties………..Enough said….Lets just pray for the safe and
speedy return of all our guardians to their loved ones here…

HILLARY CLINTON………..
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God...
If I can have just one wish granted before I die….Just don’t
let her into the White House…Please, please, please, please…..

LAWYERS………
Pieces of worm shit…(almost) the lowest of the low…..
Who else can charge you by the minute and get away with it…
Man they just love congress,, pass some more laws that nobody
knows,, except the lawyers of course…
Also see POLITICIANS above,, the names have changed but
the games the same……

LINCOLN ASSIGNATION………..
Lets see now 1864,, shot dead in Ford’s theater…
2007 minus 1864 = 143 yrs……Why are we still “investigating”
This??….The world has changed over many many times since then…
A great leader he was,, yes,, but he’s been buried now for almost
one hundred and fifty years… It’s over,, it makes no difference
what “exactly” happened back then... Everybody who was alive
in 1864 is dead now,, give it a rest,, leave history be,,
and leave the poor guy alone...

KENNEDY ASSIGNATION……….
Talk about second guessing yourself into the grave…
Is nothing ever to be resolved about anything??…
It’s been analyzed,, backwards and forwards, computer generated,
with 3D animation, charts and graphs, bullet sizes, gun types,
police radio noises, the grassy knoll, Magruder tapes, still photos,
line of sight, the book depository, the Warren commission...
It was Oswal, it was Ruby, it was the Cubans, the Mafia,
the Russians... Hey maybe it was suicide…
Or maybe even his wife or VP Johnson….
What about Marilyn Monroe or aliens ??
A great leader he was,, yes,, but he’s been buried now for almost
fifty years… It’s over,, it makes no difference...
What “exactly” happened back then…..give it a rest,,
leave history be,, and leave the poor guy alone...
I hope that in one hundred years their not still “investigating”
this…….(see Lincoln assignation above)......

SMOKING……..
What a PC double standard issue this is…..
Cancer from second hand smoke,, developed after 20 yrs of
breathing in smoky rooms…Who dreamed that one up??
(see lawyers above)
More people are killed by drunks and deceased livers,,
and health problems due to alcohol in one year than die from
cigarettes… Look it up…
And yet we can drink in public, in stadiums, sports areas, bars,
work places... Parks, on planes, and trains, boats and ships,,,
but smoking is forbidden…
I smoke myself,, and have yet to get so loaded on nicotine
from smoking,, that I can’t drive a car,, and I have yet to be so
loaded up from smoking,, that I go get a gun and start shooting
people or maybe myself…
And yet with alcohol,, this type of event happens every single day…
What a pile of PC double standard horse sht…..
As I’ve said,, I smoke myself,, it’s a dirty,, filthy,, smelly habit and
it costs a lot and is harmful to your health for most people…
I do not recommend it to anyone,, but it’s legal and I have yet to
threaten anyone with a broken cigarette in my hand…

ALIENS, ROSWELL, AREA 51, and the MOON LANDINGS……
This is a fun one…..
I thought all the loony bins died with Jim Jones,, or Heaven’s Gate,,
or with David Koresh... Guess not... They keep coming out of the
woodwork...
Alien abductions, sightings, crop circles, flying disks, strange lights
in the sky,, close encounters, no encounters, strange noises,
aliens among us now…
Now let me get this straight,, aliens are here and have been
here before... These people have been out in the sun too long and
have seen way too many space monster movies…….
The edge of the Universe as we can measure it today,, using our
telescopes, x-ray spectrometers, infrared spectrometers,
radio waves, gamma rays,, Etc etc,, is thought to be about
15 Billion light years away from Earth,, that’s with a capital “B”….
It takes approx 14 light years for light from Earth to travel to
the nearest star...
Now you’re telling me that an advanced race of aliens likes to
just “buzz” around this blue pin dot in the vastness of space,,
after spending perhaps ten,, a hundred or maybe ten thousand
life times to get here and don’t say HELLO?? Come on,,
the “prime directive” of no contact is only for TV shows such as
“Star Trek”… What a great idea…
“Come oh honey,, grab the kids,, lets go visit Earth,, laugh at the
funny humans and then munch on a couple of cows”…
”It’ll be great fun,, a Sunday picnic,, we’ll be home in time for
reruns of “I LOVE LUCY”…And even if some advanced race could
find a way around the known laws of space and time,, why come here??...
Out of the billions and billions and billions of possible worlds
out there,, why come here??... Which takes us back to my
first question,, why not say “HELLO”,, why not just say
“LUCY I’M HOME”….
ROSWELL NM... An alien spacecraft crashed lands there in 1947,,
and has been kept on a not-so-secret secret base called AREA 51…
Lets see now that’s about 60 yrs ago,, our government has kept
this under wraps (secret) for sixty yrs… What a joke,,
the US GOVERNMENT,, can’t keep a secret longer that about
15 yrs and then the whole can of nasty smelling beans comes
bubbling out,, and yet we’re to believe that about 8 administrations
has been able to keep this greatest of all secrets,, secret…
Get a grip…..
MOON LANDINGS…..Do you know that there are people
(read that nut cases) in this world who honestly and truly believe
that the moon landings were faked on a back lot in Hollywood...
Nut cases one and all,, they should be rounded up and put away,,
along with their kin, family, relatives, co-workers and anyone,,
who has ever come in contact with these screwballs….
Can’t let these radioactive nutsos infect anyone else,,
and their DNA gene pool should be erased also…

GAS PRICES……….
Stop fkin whining about the high price of gasoline,, you can’t do
anything about it,, whine about something you can change,,
once prices are up they never come down,, you know this as well
as I do... You’ll never ever see gas prices below $1.00 again,,
no matter how big the supply from Ahab the Arab is….
Take a bus, carpool, share a ride, stay home more often,
ride a bike to work, walk to the store (you need it lardbutt America)
telework over the internet...(is that safe??)…

TV…………
Ah,, the biggest time waster of them all,, the glowing cube in our
living rooms,, the boob tube,, the idiot box... Commercial,,
cable and satellite visions upon our walls...
I hardly watch it anymore,, perhaps a movie now and then…
Man it does stinkith…
Can they put something interesting on??,, hell the shows are only
30-60 minutes long... Minus the commercials,, intro and exits,,
there aren’t that many minutes to fill in any one show…
What happened to originality,, diverse ideas,, ENTERTAINMENT…
Variety… OH NO,, Seinfeld works,, lets make ten copies of that,,
and Survival Island,, and Your Fired,, Friends,, Dopes in a House,,
reality reality reality….
That’s not reality,, that’s scripted stupidity... And what the hell
happened to all the “MEN” on TV??
Is it required that they take stupid or idiot pills in the morning,,
or do they just have to be gay??... I wonder what “GUNSMOKE”
would be like,, if it were on TV today…
Would Matt Dillion, Chester and Festus all live together??
Would Miss Kitty rule the Day???... And what about Doc??
Would he have to act more like “STINKY PETE”??
Geez…I hate to think what “RAWHIDE” would be like…
Perhaps “BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN” on a cattle drive??
Can you imagine Clint “make my day” Eastwood,, being really
really friendly with the trail boss…Wait a minute,, I think I’m
going to throw-up… No wonder there are so many more lesbians
now than yesteryear,, just look at how men are portrayed on
the TUBE,, idiots, morons, gay, bumblers, mumblers, stumblers...
One and all... Is there even one male on TV that can make a
complete sentence or tie his own shoelaces... No wonder women
find men less attractive as a mate,, than they used too….
NETWORK NEWS….what a laugh,, haven’t watched it in years
and years... Bad news,, bad news,, bad news,, that’s all they play…
Hey,, it sells papers don’t it… All the bad and none of the good,,
it’s not news reporting,, it’s headline reading... And besides nothing
has really changed in the headlines for the past 20 yrs... Seen it,,
seen it,, heard it,, heard it… It’s the same story’s I heard 20 yrs ago….
The names and faces may have changed but the events are the same…
Fighting in the MIDDLE EAST,, gee haven’t hear that one before,,
genocide and famine in AFRICA,,wow that’s new,, mad bombers,
murderers, rapist, kidnappers, maniacs on the loose,
science gone amuck... Too depressing and it gives me a headache,,
I’ll take reruns of “I LOVE LUCY” anyday…

Well now I’ve done it,, I really do have a headache and I’m sick,,
tired and depressed...
I think I’ll go take a handful of valiums and zonk out for a
couple of days…
Man my head hurts……..

In math the multiplying of two negatives equals a positive….SO….
MAD RANTINGS OF A MAD SCOTSMAN…..
MAD (A NEGATIVE)…TIMES ANOTHER
MAD (A NEGATIVE) EQUALS A POSITIVE……
HEY,, I MUST BE A POSITIVELY MAD SCOTSMAN
WHAT DO YOU KNOW………