ITS AMAZING...............

ITS AMAZING………….

Its amazing that I even make it home some days…
It was just the other day,, yes it was a Tuesday…
There I was driving home on the freeway after work,,
at about my usual time,, doing about 70 as usual…
Just minding by own business trying to weave thru the
nutsos that are allowed to have a drivers license…
The freeway was packed with cars and semis like it is
every night on my drive home…

I’m driving along in the middle lane,, surrounded on all
sides by cars and semis…H*ll,, I’ll bet that half the semis
in the USA were trying to fly down the freeway along with me…
There I am driving,, tired as can be from working all
day,, one eye open and the other one shut,, driving as
safely as I can,, maintaining a gap between me and the cars ahead,,
just in case…But that’s not good enough for some drivers…
All of a sudden a guy,, yes I’m sorry to say it was a male driver,,
comes flyin up behind me and is hugging my bumper like a
crazed alien invader humping a donut,, blaring his horn and
flashing his lights,, for me to move over and get out of his way…
I didn’t know what he expected me to do,, I was trapped on all
sides by other cars and semis…So he’s back there doing his best
Canadian goose imitation,, and I could see him in my rearview
just screaming and pounding his hands on his steering wheel,,
like its my fault that the freeway is crowded…

Well finally after a couple of minutes of him shinning my bumper
for me,, I’m able to move over to the left,, and then he guns it and
goes flyin by me,, I look over and he’s looking at me like he’s going
to jump out of his car and strangle me…There he goes,,
don’t know where,, its as crowded up ahead as it is here…
I slide back over into the middle lane,, (mainly because I don’t
like driving behind semis that are hauling live hogs,, live hogs
tend to pee a lot and they don’t use porta-potties) and I watch
this nutso…I’m thinking “there’s an accident waiting to happen”…
I’m watching him and he’s locked up behind the car that was in
front of me,, getting nowhere,, he’s boxed in on both sides,,
then he guns it and squeezes in kind of diagonally in front of the
car on his right…I watch him as he flys down the freeway doing
the same New Jersey cab driver maneuvers to everyone
around him,, until I lost sight of him in a herd of semis…
I’m glad he’s away from me…

Then it happened,, all the brake lights in front of me turned red…
Everyone’s slowing down and some are braking hard,,
I look up ahead and can see that cars and semis are trying to find
room to stop,, their angling to the right and left,, and a couple of
cars drive into the median,, just to avoid everyone else…
I’m slamming on my brakes,, and going from 70 to nothing in
about 5 seconds,, I just hoped that the 5 million ton semi behind
me could stop in time,, before I ended up with a Peterbilt in my
front seat…
About this time,, is when it became unreal,, it was like one of those
scenes you see in a movie,, I still can’t believe it,, it was amazing,,
hopefully a once in a lifetime event,, certainly something you don’t
want to be anywhere near,, unless your seated in a darkened
room eating $5 popcorn,, and I wasn’t…It may look fantastic on
the big screen but I can tell you,, it will scare the crap out of you,,
not give you any change back and you’ll find religion real fast…
There wasn’t a damn thing I could do,, I was boxed in on all sides,,
all I could do was watch as everything started happening
around me…
It was frightening,, and fascinating all at the same time…

Needless to say I came out of it alive,, not a scratch on me or
my car…I’m just thankful that all the chickens didn’t get out
of their cages,, because with all the marshmallows and corn syrup
on the freeway it would really have been a disaster………........