TO TELL THE TRUTH........

.
When talking to me please tell the truth cuz…..

1…I’d rather know that my hair is on fire,, then for you to
say I have a warm glow…

2…I’d rather know that you think I’m fat,, then for you to say
I remind you of that time you went to the zoo…

3…I’d rather you said I wasn’t a good lover,, then for you to
say you enjoyed the moment…

4…I’d rather you told me I had bad breath,, then for you to say
the onions in your garden are doing wonderful this year…

5…I’d rather know that I have a piece of lettuce between my teeth,,
then for you to say I have an interesting smile…

6…I’d rather you told me I had ugly feet,, then for you to say
that men in socks make you horny…

7…I’d rather you told me I had cold hands,, then for you to
remember to take something out of the freezer…

8…I’d rather you told me you took all my money out of my wallet,,
then for me to not be able to bribe the policeman into not giving me a ticket cuz I was speeding…

9…I’d rather you told me you were having an affair with the plumber,, than to think all the plumbing in the house needs replaced,, and have to pay the bills he keeps sending me…

10…I’d rather you told me that you broke the remote,, rather then
having to take the dog to the vet to have it x-rayed…

11…I’d rather you told me that you think I’m cross-eyed,, then for you to say I have limpid pools of blue like a goony bird…

12…I’d rather you told me you wrecked the car,, then for you to say
think of all the gas money we’ll save…

13…I’d rather you told me I had a lot of ear wax,, rather then you
screaming into my one good ear…

14…I’d rather you told me my haircut’s to short,, rather then you telling me it makes me look 15 pounds lighter…

15…I’d rather you told me you weren’t a virgin when we got married,, rather then finding your black book with a clipping of todays Newspaper in it…

16…I’d rather you told me you can’t cook,, rather then having to think mac & cheese is supposed to be black all the rest of my life…

17…I’d rather you told me I had a rip in my pants,, rather then have the boss do it while I’m at a board meeting…

18…I’d rather you told me that the “JPGR” tattoo you have on your
butt is from when you were initiated into a biker gang,, then for you to tell me they stand for John,, Paul,, George and Ringo…

19…I’d rather you told me you lost $500 playing the slots,, then to tell me you were mugged by a Hungarian midget,, and then have to spend 8 hours at the police station looking thru mug shots…

20…I’d rather you told me that 6” is 12”,, OK I want you to lie
about that one…