I’M A GOD……………………….I’d just finished my 6th cup of Maxwell House bean juice,,
when a weird thought popped into my cobweb filled attic storage room,, it usually does after I’ve had enough bean juice to float a Nile barge,, you know the bean that makes you dream but never lets you sleep…It just popped right in,, a thought (such a rare thing,, that I recognized it immediately) about one of the fantastic, stupendous, mystifying, Noble(reg trademark) winning stories I wrote,, namely “THE FINAL OPTION”,, available now at Borders book stores for $19.95 plus tax,,(or you can just send me a check and I’ll get back to you,, after the Sun implodes)…In the story I blow up Jupiter,, it’s pretty big you know,, it’s only the second biggest fluff ball of neutrons and electrons in our solar system,, its something like 12 times as big as Earth,, so its really really big,, and I just blew it up,, no problem at all,, amazing isn’t?...I don’t think Asimov or Heinlein or Clark ever blew up Jupiter…course I haven’t read all their books,, so I’m not 100% sure,, and no Jupiter was not blown up in the movie 2010,, it just turned into a Sun,, because of all those falling black dominos…And not only that,, but I destroyed an invincible alien armada that was intent on destroying Earth…So what you ask??...Well it just made me realize that I’m a God,, yep,, right here in my little darkened corner of space and time,, pounding away on the keyboard of words before me,, I’m a God…I can do anything,, want a grape soda,, done,, want a new car,, done,, want hot babes to want you,, don…ah,, that’s a little harder,, I’ll get back to you on that one,, (women can’t live with em and can’t live with em)…In my own little world,, I’m a God,, so if I were you I’d be real nice to me,, or I might magically appear in your bathroom and put snakes in your bathtub…
Yep,, I’m a God,, now if only I could get hot women to worship me………….
4 comments:
I can tell you're god because you don't feel the need to use paragraphs.
As for the hot women, I think God's celibate. Hey wait a minute ... there's more proof for your theory!
to Drowsey:
Sure I did...There is only one paragraph,, but it is a looooooong one....
Clarke blew up Jupiter, not just once but in several iterations of the same tired story. And he got paid every time, too! Must be nice. Then there's Card, who tells "Ender's Game" over and over from different characters' viewpoints. I want to whack him.
to Marvin:
Standing on the top rung of a stepladder to wack someone is not a good idea…
You can’t get enough leverage…It would be best for you,, you no nosed invader,, to simply bite him in the ankle….
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