I’m here to tell you something about one of my next Blog stories
that will soon be posted on this Blog-o-Rama page in a town
near you…Just for convenience sake I’m going to call it the
quote SCENE OF THE CRIME unquote... Now this next story I’m
about to post is of course
‘EPIC IN LENGTH AND BELLICOSE GRANDEU'…
Why just by themselves the words alone take up16,, count em,,
16 pages of 8 ½ x 11,, single spaced Micro-Evil 2003 Word space
on my Commodore 64…Which has been specially modified and
kept on life support just for such an event as this…
But not only will there be 'WORDS' in this new exciting
‘EPIC MONUMENTAL MONTAGE TO STORY MANGLING’,,
but there will also be plaster tire tracks,, foot prints,,
dog smelling prints,, and twenty seven eight-by-ten color
glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph
on each one explaining what each one was to illustrate my
‘EPIC SAGA’...There will be pictures of the approach,,
my getaway,, the northwest corner,, the southwest corner,,
north,, south,, east and west elevations of each element in
my story and that's not to mention the aerial photography…
This story has been injected,, inspected,, detected,, infected,,
neglected and selected... Its had a physical examination,,
its been walked on,, sat on,, spat on,, and I’m going to get good
and drunk the night before posting it so I can sleep thru the
whole nasty event…With full orchestration and five part harmony
and stuff like that and all the phenomena...
Now in this ‘EPIC MASTERPIECE OF THE WRITTEN WORD'
there are all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people…
Mother rapers…Father stabbers…Father rapers!...
Father rapers right there in my story waiting for you to read
all about them…There are mean and nasty and ugly and
horrible crime-type guys lurking in every part of this story…
And the meanest,, ugliest,, nastiest one,, the meanest
father raper of them all,, is the ‘hero’… So you can imagine just
what kind of story I have ready for you…
Now because I am not a Hillaryite and have some goodness still
in me…I’ve gathered you all here so you can cast your vote
on just one thing,, and that is:…WOULD you like me to post my
‘TECHNICOLOR MASTERPIECE OF THE WRITTEN WORD'
in one long post with all the plaster tire tracks,, foot prints,,
dog smelling prints,, and twenty seven eight-by-ten color
glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph
on each one explaining what each one was to illustrate my
epic story…The pictures of the approach,, my getaway,,
the northwest corner,, the southwest corner,, north,, south,,
east and west elevations of each element in my story and
that's not to mention the aerial photography…OR would you like
me to break it up into smaller nasty bits so you don’t
have to think too hard…
So cast your vote (please only one vote per trapped fly),, just
turn over this piece of paper,, and there,, there on the other side,,
in the middle of the other side,, away from everything else on
the other side,, in parentheses,, capital letters,, quotated,,
mark one of the following choices:
YES,, please post the entire
‘EPIC MASTERPIECE OF THE WRITTEN WORD' as one post…..
NO,, I’m dumb and can’t,, uuuh what was I….oh yeah,, your dog
pooped on my shoe……
You have until 3:27:06 on Tuesday April 8, 2008 to cast your vote….
("KID,, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")
That’s a joke son,, admit it I’m too fast for you…
De Camptown ladies sing this song…
Doo-da, Doo-da…
De Camptown racetrack's two miles long…
Oh,, de doo-da day………..
Special editors note:
This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds…
Taking with it half the Eastern seaboard and one
tumble down shack in Delta : British Columbia : Oh,,Canada ….
….4,, 3,, 2,,……………….
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4 comments:
lol, everything, and at myself, I clicked on the yes, lol. Should know better then to click on anything here.
gt281:
You've finally gone and done it - you've lost your mind. But considering who you are, and the unequaled quality of your story telling, I reluctantly opt for the whole enchilada in one gigantic gulp. I choose Yes! Give it to me. I want to read 8-pt type until my eyes literally pop from my head. I don't care if I go blind. I don't care if I spend the rest of my life in a catatonic stupor. All I care about is reading the EPIC MASTERPIECE OF THE WRITTEN WORD in one post. ONE! So take your best shot, dude.
Plus, have a nice day.
I can't wait to read your autobiography! And I'm just man enough to hack it down all at once, so bring it on, baby...
To FaerieKat:
Ahh,, your too cute to be a man,, besides I never learned
to drive a car…
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