.
Procras’di’dition: waiting for things to magically happen…
Sit on it: a term use by old men at strip clubs asking for a lap
dance…(among other things,, this blog is rated PG so I can’t go
into further detail)…
Su’icide bom’ber: a person eating a can of beans in a mobile home…
Mo’bile home: misnomer; its not mobile and its not a home…
French intell’igence: no such thing…
Hillary’dillary’ite: moron; should vanish from the English
vocabulary around the middle of November…
Sounds the same to me: slang term meaning; “get the Fk out of
here I don’t care”…
Fib’roid: a lying robot…
Grub’stake: a small piece of wood pounded into the ground with
an attached string and a worm attached to the string…
Hair’br’eadth: this is what you get when you find the cooks hair
in your spaghetti…
Hail’stone: holy relic found in Presbyterian churches…
Guess’work: US government budget figures; a drinking mans
game at strip joints concerning womens breast sizes…
Pow’der’puff: what happens when you run over a bunny rabbit
with a lawn mower…
Gyp’sum: price of a new car; bill from the repair man at your
house…
In’ex’plic’able: a term to define why the guy in the next cubbie
even has a job at the place where you work…
Stair’well: misnomer; it is neither a stair nor does it have water
in it…
Cur’mu’dgeon: a really really really really great person who
writes long stories; (see gt281)…
Stag’nant: a bachelors party with no strippers…
Stag’ger’ing: a bachelors party with strippers…
Star’dom: Britney Spears…
Con’cave: a place where escaped prison inmates hide…
Squirrel bait: see Hillarydillaryite…
Wo’man: person responsible for every evil person on the planet,,
cuz only they can give birth; see also money pit…
Man: greatest thing invented,, especially if over fifty with grey hair…
Fry’in pan: metal object used by women on this author who have
read the definition of woman…
Thor: mainly used by people with a cold; “I have a thor throat”…
Cott’on pick’in: person hired by the elderly to remove fluffy white
stuff from aspirin bottles…(not to be confused with nose pickin)
Pan’cake: this is what you become after falling 50 floors onto
the concrete sidewalk below…
Phar’ma’cy: what little kids say while going thru Nebraska…
Matter: see “your vote”…
Your vote: it don’t…
Great Caesars ghost: what Perry White says when Superman
catches him giving Lois Lane a ‘raise’…
Balls of fire: what happens when you mix beer and black beans…
Scar’let fever: what Rhett Butler had in “Gone With the Wind”…
Miss’ion im’poss’ible III: my getting a raise this year; see also
mission impossible I,, and mission impossible II…
Dark side of the moon: a black mans butt…
Once in a blue moon: how often an employee gets praise from
the corner office…
Demon’strate: congress…
De’luge: what Norwegians’ call a snow sled…
De’mote: what people from Jursey say when looking for the TV
control; “where’s demote”…
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7 comments:
gt281:
Love them all - especially "Sit on it."
Happy trails.
Okay, there were 2 references to strip clubs, I think and 2 to strippers ... daydreaming again?
My favourite was "inexplicable" that made me lol
So ... you're over 50 with grey hair.
's like an onion ... one layer at a time, man.
to Drowsey:
Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[sighs]
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.
I love that you can quote the classics.
Someday maybe I'll tell you *my* black bean story. It's scary. Don't read it too late at night or you'll have nightmares.
Lol, right on with the Man and Woman definitions, you are a wit.
to Lorelei:
Burning holes in the couch is not a good thing...
thanks for the visit,, haven't seen you in awhile.....
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