Something to ponder on as you wander on


Some liars are born that way, some are self-made; but the really great ones are elected to Congress…
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

DEFINITIONS.................

.
Procras’di’dition: waiting for things to magically happen…

Sit on it: a term use by old men at strip clubs asking for a lap
dance…(among other things,, this blog is rated PG so I can’t go
into further detail)…

Su’icide bom’ber: a person eating a can of beans in a mobile home…

Mo’bile home: misnomer; its not mobile and its not a home…

French intell’igence: no such thing…

Hillary’dillary’ite: moron; should vanish from the English
vocabulary around the middle of November…

Sounds the same to me: slang term meaning; “get the Fk out of
here I don’t care”…

Fib’roid: a lying robot…

Grub’stake: a small piece of wood pounded into the ground with
an attached string and a worm attached to the string…

Hair’br’eadth: this is what you get when you find the cooks hair
in your spaghetti…

Hail’stone: holy relic found in Presbyterian churches…

Guess’work: US government budget figures; a drinking mans
game at strip joints concerning womens breast sizes…

Pow’der’puff: what happens when you run over a bunny rabbit
with a lawn mower…

Gyp’sum: price of a new car; bill from the repair man at your
house…

In’ex’plic’able: a term to define why the guy in the next cubbie
even has a job at the place where you work…

Stair’well: misnomer; it is neither a stair nor does it have water
in it…

Cur’mu’dgeon: a really really really really great person who
writes long stories; (see gt281)…

Stag’nant: a bachelors party with no strippers…

Stag’ger’ing: a bachelors party with strippers…

Star’dom: Britney Spears…

Con’cave: a place where escaped prison inmates hide…

Squirrel bait: see Hillarydillaryite…

Wo’man: person responsible for every evil person on the planet,,
cuz only they can give birth; see also money pit…

Man: greatest thing invented,, especially if over fifty with grey hair…

Fry’in pan: metal object used by women on this author who have
read the definition of woman…

Thor: mainly used by people with a cold; “I have a thor throat”…

Cott’on pick’in: person hired by the elderly to remove fluffy white
stuff from aspirin bottles…(not to be confused with nose pickin)

Pan’cake: this is what you become after falling 50 floors onto
the concrete sidewalk below…

Phar’ma’cy: what little kids say while going thru Nebraska…

Matter: see “your vote”…

Your vote: it don’t…

Great Caesars ghost: what Perry White says when Superman
catches him giving Lois Lane a ‘raise’…

Balls of fire: what happens when you mix beer and black beans…

Scar’let fever: what Rhett Butler had in “Gone With the Wind”…

Miss’ion im’poss’ible III: my getting a raise this year; see also
mission impossible I,, and mission impossible II…

Dark side of the moon: a black mans butt…

Once in a blue moon:
how often an employee gets praise from
the corner office…

Demon’strate:
congress…

De’luge: what Norwegians’ call a snow sled…

De’mote: what people from Jursey say when looking for the TV
control; “where’s demote”…

8 comments:

Marvin the Martian said...

LOL, you are a nut.

Swubird said...

gt281:

Love them all - especially "Sit on it."

Happy trails.

Drowsey Monkey said...

Okay, there were 2 references to strip clubs, I think and 2 to strippers ... daydreaming again?

My favourite was "inexplicable" that made me lol

So ... you're over 50 with grey hair.

's like an onion ... one layer at a time, man.

gt281 said...

to Drowsey:

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[sighs]
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

Drowsey Monkey said...

I love that you can quote the classics.

Lorelei said...

Someday maybe I'll tell you *my* black bean story. It's scary. Don't read it too late at night or you'll have nightmares.

Bob Johnson said...

Lol, right on with the Man and Woman definitions, you are a wit.

gt281 said...

to Lorelei:
Burning holes in the couch is not a good thing...

thanks for the visit,, haven't seen you in awhile.....