Something to ponder on as you wander on


Some liars are born that way, some are self-made; but the really great ones are elected to Congress…
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Friday, July 4, 2008

MONKEY SPEAK.......

The ability to use language and words is a very
useful tool,, not only in Blogland or on the
whiten page but also in everyday conversation…
It shows that you have more brains than a
Siberian slug worm…It’s basically what separates
us humans from the other simians on the block…
I bring this up because in the cubical land where
I struggle every day to free myself from a life of living under
a bridge and to pay off all my 420 credit cards,, there is
a person in the very next cubie that has the verbal skills
of an 8 year old girl at a Britney Spears concert….
Goo-goo ga-ga…Everyday I can hear him speaking on the phone
to various contractors and vendors about this project or
that project…I wish I was paid 1 dollar for every time this
monkey speaking moron said the word ‘YOUKNOW’,, or
‘OK’…H*ll I’d be in Aruba right now…

Everyone who works in a cubieland prairie dog village knows
about how each cubienite can hear every other cubienite within
a 50 yard radius,, and this guy is only about 3 feet from me,,
separated only by a 4 ½ foot high wall,, so each day as I struggle
to get to the next level of Halo 3,, I can hear everything he says…
And by Wednesday or Thursday I’m ready to go around the
corner and shove a dictionary up his a**,, cuz I’m very tired of
overhearing his constant use of ‘YOUKNOW’ and ‘OK’…

A typical conversation of his goes something like this…

“Hello Steve,, this is Frank (not his real name)…insert
bad salesman joke here…haha haha haha…I was calling about
project ‘X’,, ‘YOUKNOW’,, and I’d like to ‘YOUKNOW’,,
‘YOUKNOW’ if we ‘YOUKNOW’,, ha ha ha…that way we can
‘YOUKNOW’,, uh uh”…continued on next page…

By saying ‘YOUKNOW’ a lot in his sentences he really doesn’t
have to say anything or know anything,, it’s the person on the
other end of the line that fills in the blanks for him…

I can always tell when he’s getting near the end of his phone
conversation,, because it goes exactly like this every time…

“OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,, OK,,
Thanks,, OK,, OK,, OK,,”….insert stupid laugh here….

I’m sure that if I looked very closely at his forehead,, it
would have the word “DORK” written across it…Thank God
I only have 41,456 days left until I move on to be a
ringer-dinger at McD land,, any longer than that and I’m sure
I’d go postal on him……….

For G-damn sake people,, learn some verbal skills or
move to France…..

In next weeks episode of “Tales of Terror in Cubieland”,,
learn about the loud talker 4 cubies away from me,, who has
to explain in minute detail what he worked on,, to his boss
over the phone…
“Well,, first I had to find my pencil,, then I noticed it was
dull,, so I had to sharpen it,, then I wrote down a note to myself
to get more pencils,, then I sent an E-mail,, and I
Cc ed it to everyone,, then I”…….it goes on for miles….

Happy Fourth of July to everybody…
Stay safe and try not to poke your eye out with a sparkler…

And remember,, firing bottle rockets at cats,, is legal in
all 50 states...so have fun...................

4 comments:

Bob Johnson said...

Indubitably!!

Drowsey Monkey said...

hahahaha! OMG ... I don't miss cubiland. One time I worked next to a woman who said out loud everything she did.

"okay, where's my stapler? Oh there it is. I'll just use it to staple these contracts. Right. Good. Now I need to open the mail" ... that went on for HOURS!

And she had a habit of using the word "fortuitous" ALL THE TIME. How can EVERYTHING be fortuitous?

I feel for ya man.

gt281 said...

to Drowsey:
youknow it realy is youknow of you to youknow stop by youknow and leave a comment youknow...

youknow is so 60s,, youknow...

whate-v-e-r.....

Marvin the Martian said...

Um, yeah, what YOU said. "Rumpelstiltskin!"