A COSMIC SIGN part2...................

Sir,, sir,, wake up we’re about to land…
(the flaps and the lowering of the landing gear quickly bring
Colonel Pike back from his dreaming,, it had already been a long day)…

(Standing on the hard packed desert sand,, Colonel Pike watched as
the B2 bomber taxied its way away from him and lifted off at about
a 40 degree angle…it only took a few minutes before it was too high
and too far for him to see it anymore…the desert landing strip
was surrounded on all sides by mountains,, this must have been
a lake bed at one time he thought to himself… there were a few
clusters of what looked like farm sheds and 1950 era Quonset huts
in the distance…A small motorized cart was steadily coming towards
him,, leaving only a small dust plum to rise in the sky…
his ride to somewhere he thought)…

Colonel Pike,, get in…I’m Ted Johnson12…
What?...where am I?…
Sorry sir,, everyone here is called Johnson…well since you’re here,,
I guess its alright to tell you,, this is the Groom Lake research
facility in Nevada…everyone else is here,, you’re the last to arrive…

(Ted stops the cart near a small storage shed which is adjacent to
one of the large Quonset huts)…

This way Colonel…
(both men step inside the small shed)…
Please put your feet inside the red shoe outlines on the floor Colonel…
Level please…(a female voice emanates from somewhere
inside the small shed)…
Level 47…
Please present identification…
(Ted presents his ID badge to a small mirror on the wall)…
(Prepare for retina scan)…(Ted leans closer to the mirror)…
(Rising from the floor in front of Ted and the Colonel is a metal bar)…
Colonel,, hang on to the bar…
OK…
(the floor of the small shed starts its descent to level 47,,
it’s a quick 12 minute controlled freefall)…
(a pair of stainless steel elevator doors open into a gleaming
white corridor)…
This way Colonel…
What is this place?...
Oh,, this?...this is just the Administration building…there are
other building scattered around for R & D and such…
(stopping in front of a reception/security desk,, Colonel Pike
receives his ID badge and a security level microchip imbedded
behind his left ear)…
Now,, don’t ever take that badge off,, not even while your taking
a shower or…you know…it will make all the alarms go off and you
won’t like the results…believe me…
This way…they’re waiting for you…

(Conference Room 36D)
Hello John,, nice to see you again…
Hey Pete…what the hell an I doing here?...what’s this about?...
You’ll find out in a moment…have a seat…
(the conference room is a rather large room with an ellipse shaped
table in the center,, projection screens can be lowered from the
ceiling along any wall…at the conference table 12 men are already
seated,, some of them Colonel John Pike has already met or knows
from reading the newspapers… Pete Worden,, Nasa chief engineer
of digital satellite imaging,, director Charles Elachi director
of JPL operations,, Vice President Kelly,, General Bradkroff of
the Joint Chiefs…the other men look familiar from the small
world of Nasa and JPL)…
(director Charles Elachi,, presides over the meeting)…
Gentlemen as most of you already know,, today at approximately
05:00,, images broadcast back to Earth by MRO near the Martian
polar region showed an avalanche occurring in near real time along
the cliff wall of the Vastitas Borealis plateau region…
the broadcasting and analysis of those images was immediately
stopped and all data was transferred to NASA Delfi2 internal code,,
since then all MRO data has been removed from and transferred
to the DOD imaging analysis units here at Groom Lake….
Lights please…
(click,, click…a small digital projector rises from the center of the
conference table and a projection screen lowers from the ceiling
along the West wall)…
Gentlemen,, this first image shows the cliff wall two days before
the rock slide…a typical Martian cliff face with a top approximately
350 ft above the main Vastitas Borealis plateau valley…
This second photo shows the same cliff face just as the
rock slide was occurring…the next 6 photos show much the same
thing with the cliff wall being obscured by falling debris and red dust…
This image is why all MRO data has now been classified…
The bottom left hand corner of the original image has been digitally
magnified to show more detail…
(a red laser pointer points to a whitish structure along the
Vastitas Borealis plateau)…
These next photos show increased magnification and have also been
digitally enhanced…as you can plainly see now,, there’s what can only
be described as a,, hmm,, ‘manmade structure’...
Its estimated that the structure is about 120 ft high,, and 80 ft wide
by 80 ft wide…this dark recessed area,, we believe is a door of
some type about 60 ft high…MRO is expected to make another
fly-by in about 2 hours,, we should have more data about this
structure by the end of the day…the folders in front of each of
you contain all that we know above the Vastitas Borealis plateau
and photos of this structure… Needless to say this is beyond
Top Secret and is considered “eyes only”…

Colonel Pike,, you may wonder why you have been brought here…
Yes sir…I have been…
You’ve been selected to lead the crew going to Mars to investigate
this structure…your military and leadership experience during the
Panama conflict and the fact that you have been training crews
for the past 7 years just for a mission to Mars makes you the ideal
choice to lead this mission…the President agrees,, as do I…
congratulations…
Uhhh,, thank you sir…
The funding for this mission has already been approved and will
be paid for partly thru NASA and thru the DOD budget…
due to the secret nature of this project most of the construction
of the launch vehicles and the command modules will be built at
the Skunk Works and at Houston’s rocket assembly faculty…
it is expected to take two years before the launch vehicles and
the command ship will be ready for launch,, until that time all
communication with the press about a Mars mission will come
solely from my office…does everyone understand?...
(Yes sir was the common response)…
(Colonel Pike)…Sir,, with the military involvement… how big a
role will they have?...NASA has always been a civilian agency…
(General Bradkroff)…May I answer that question?...
Certainly General…
Colonel Pike your concerns about this being a military operation
are unnecessary,, the President has made it very clear that
NASA is in charge of the mission…the DOD is merely here as
advisors and because we have the necessary facilities and experts
to build the components for this journey quickly…Plus of course
our contractors are already under Top Secret classifications…
we do however insist than one of your crew members be a
military weapons expert of our choosing,, from a personnel list
supplied by you of course…we feel that any delays in starting this
project will only mean the greater likelihood of someone talking
about what was revealed on the photos today…and do to this being
an unknown possible alien encounter,, well frankly there might
me some military technologies that we can gather for use in our
nations defense should anything be found…the President also
agrees with this thinking,, as I’m sure you’ll agree…
(director Charles Elachi)… Colonel,, you’ll be in charge of selecting
and training your 7 person crew,, you’ll also be commander of
the Mars mission once it is in space ,, but until that time,,
these 12 men and yourself will have to cooperate and make
the necessary hard decisions to get this mission to Mars…
everyone in this room is working towards that goal and the
President will in a couple of months announce to the public
NASA’s new Mars Mission…
(Colonel Pike)…Yes sir…my concern was only for the safety of
my crew and that there would be no confusion about this mission
being led by NASA not the DOD…
-----------------------------------------------------------
END OF PART TWO…………

A COSMIC SIGN..............

THIS STORY HAS A YAWN RANKING OF 12,,
IT’S A LONG STORY…BUT TO BE NICE I’LL POST IT IN
SEGMENTS…HOPE YOU CAN FOLLOW ALONG…

(Johnson)…Sir,, you had better see this…
(director Petersen)…What is it Johnson?...
We have some new images from MRO streaming in now sir,,
appears to be an avalanche or rock slide near the northern polar region…
Real time?...
Yes sir…nearly…
OK,, I have it… Damn…that’s going to make a lot of the geologist’s boys happy…
Shit… Johnson… Johnson…lock down your data link and transfer all MRO images to NASA Delfi2 internal code link only,, transfer MRO data for the last three days to my
terminal,, then lock down your station and meet me in my office…Johnson?...
Yes sir…

(knock,, knock)…Sir?...
Come in Johnson…
What is it sir?...
What security grade are you?...
I’m just a grade 2 sir… what is it?...
Well,, you’ve just been promoted to grade 4,, sign this…
What is it?...
National Security Act #157m6nl…giving you top secret clearance…sign it or I’ll have you put under house arrest until I can clear things with director Elachi…
Yes sir…
Thanks Johnson,, it will make things a lot easier if you cooperate…anything I tell you now is strictly top secret and you could be shot or put in prison for life if you should divulge any of this…do you understand?...
Yes sir… you have my cooperation…what is it?...
How much of the MRO avalanche data did you see?...
It was just beginning to be de-coded when I noticed the dust cloud sir,, that’s when I notified you…I saw maybe the first twenty seconds of it sir…
OK,, good… have a look at this and tell me what you see…
Zoom into the lower left hand corner at the beginning of the landslide…
Just a lot of dust sir..
Zoom in as close as you can…
Oh,, shit…
Yeah that was my reaction too…
(click)…sorry to interrupt director Petersen…But my phone
systems locked up with everyone wanting to know what’s wrong with the MRO data…what should I tell them?...
That’s OK Shirley,, tell them we’re looking into it and we think its just a temporary glitch…oh,, and have Bob Jenkins come to my office immediately,, my office not on the phone…then book me a flight to Houston for this afternoon…
Yes sir…
Thanks Johnson,, just go back to your station and act as
confused and frustrated by the MRO data glitch as everyone else…and remember what I said about this being top secret…
Yes sir,, I can see why…

(27 hours later at Nasa’s Neutral Buoyancy Lab #3 in Houston)

(four men in black suits along with 1 marine MP,,
approach the guard at the entrance to practice dive pool #2…
Flashing badges of ID they ask…”where’s Colonel Pike?”… the guard points to a 40ish year old man in a blue jumpsuit and the far end of the practice pool)…

Are you Colonel Pike?...
Yeah that’s me…
SSN 456-98-2378,, born Youngtown,, Ohio?...
Yeah,, what’s this about?...
Come with us sir…
I’m not going anywhere,, I’m right in the middle of a
practice drive for STS #131…
Sergeant please escort the Colonel…(the marine MP moves behind Colonel Pike)…
OK,, OK,, what your authority?...
That’s classified…
Jim,, Jim…finish up for me here will ya?...these gentlemen have something important to talk with me about…

(3 black Hummers roll away from the research building,, windows tinted black,, body and frame of each vehicle sits lower than normal due to the armor plating and bullet proofing)…

Where are we going?,, can you tell me what’s up now?...
Sign here sir…you know the drill…
Yeah,, I know… sounds like a ‘Panama go now don’t tell
mission’ again…
Exactly sir…
If we’re headed to the airport,, you guys are going in the
wrong direction…
(silence)
(for 35 minutes the black caravan continues down the road,, seeming for all the world oblivious to anything around it…a creature unto itself with only one purpose in life…finally it halts parallel to Highway 10)…

Please get out of the car now sir…
What the hell?...there’s nothing here but the highway…
(a strange quiet not normally associated with the busy Highway 10 surrounds the caravan…no vehicles
going in either direction…an eerie quiet as the men wait)
What are we waiting for?...there’s nothing here…
Your ride sir…
(a sonic boom breaks the quiet,, Colonel Pike looks up to see the white contrail of a jet plane high above…another sonic boom)…
(A solid black B2 bomber makes a low pass over the vacant
highway and lands towards the Western end of the highway,,
taxing forward until its alongside Colonel Pike and the parked Hummers…a small step ladder descends from the underbelly of the bomber as it waits,, its engines are deafening)…
Your ride sir…
(Colonel Pike is stunned,, he knew he wasn’t that important for someone to shutdown 20 miles of highway,, was anyone?)…

(Ascending the small step ladder he is helped up into the
bomb-bay hatch by a young man in what looks to be a
Halo-jump suit,, there are two other men already seated on the small woven strap bench,, Colonel Pike can’t see any service or rank insignia )…

Put this on sir,, (the young man hands Colonel Pike a
jump suit the same type as the one he’s wearing)…just in case sir…strap yourself in…it can be bumpy…
Where are we going?...
Best strap yourself in sir…
(the small ladder rises and the bomb-bay doors swing shut…the giant engines of the bomber propel the ship ahead with ease,, the noise inside the hanger bay is overpowering,, and would be intolerable if not for the flight helmets everyone was wearing…it wasn’t long before the B2 was once again in the sky and Colonel Pike could only wonder
where it would land)…
---------------------------------------------------------------------
END OF PART ONE…………

THE OOZING GOO..............

They say it fell straight from the stars and crashed into Puget Sound,,
and it made a tidal wave perhaps 100 ft high,, with a surge that went
inland for maybe a hundred miles,, and it produced an earthquake
of about 5.7 on the Reiter scale,, I don’t know if that’s true or not,,
but that’s what I heard anyway…

What I do know is this,, that almost every scientist and astrophysicist
from around the globe,, wanted to get a look at this thing to see
what it was,, perhaps it was a meteorite or a piece of a comet,,
or maybe just some space junk that had fallen to the ground…
Well anyway,, they brought all their equipment and ships and
planes and submarines,, so they could retrieve this thing,,
whatever it was,, and then they could study it,, in their labs
somewhere…I guess it took about a month to find it and then
dig it up,, from what I hear they loaded it aboard a ship and
encased it in a lead box,, to keep it from getting contaminated
by our atmosphere or whatever… Kinda funny now,, when you
think about it,, we’re protecting it from us,, kinda funny,,
after all thats happened since then…

Well,, from what I know,, they took it to some lab in Baltimore,,
I think it was,, I wasn’t there so I’m not sure what really happened…
All I know is what I’ve heard and what I read in the papers and
saw on TV…
Well,, apparently these scientist took it to their lab and did all kinds
of experiments on it,, and they x-rayed it,, and looked at it under
high powered microscopes,, to figure out just what it was…
The best guess anyone had,, was that it was a meteorite,,
but they wanted to run a Gas-spectrometer test of it,,
I think that’s what they called it,, well to do that,, they had to
slice off a small piece of it and then theycould put in their machine…

Well,, I guess,, that’s when all the fun started,, they had this
meteorite all sealed up in a special lab,, and then they cut
just a small hunk of it off,, and as soon as they cut that piece off,,
some green slimy liquid goo,, came oozing out of it…

Well,, I guess,, that took everyone by surprise,, and they were real
excited about this green goo,, thinking it might be some kind of life
form or something,, you know,, that would be quite the discovery
if it was,, so I guess,, they scooped some of it up and put it in some test
tubes so they could study it closer,, just to see if it was a lifeform…

And they moved these test tubes into another lab,, one of those
extra extra clean rooms,, where everyone wears one of those plastic
moon suits,, that way they could study it real close and kinda get
hands on as it were… Now this is where things get a little jumbled
and I’m not sure if anybody knows what happened,, and I guess
it doesn’t really matter anyhow,, this is what I think happened,,
well,, I think maybe one of those scientists must have dropped
one of those test tubes onto the floor,, and it shattered and sent
glass pieces everywhere,, and I suppose that one of those glass
pieces went flying and must have cut right thru one of those
plastic moon suits of theirs,, well I think that was kinda of the
end of everything… Cause just as soon as that moon suit had a
hole in it,, that green slimy goo,, went right into it,, and well,,
that poor scientist fellow,, well,, he was kinda eaten up,,
and melted like,, by this green goo,, it seems that this goo feeds
on organic matter,, any kind of organic matter living or dead,,
any kind…. Then I suppose it escaped thru the air hoses and
breathing tubes or whatever,, cause it got out,, and it started
feeding on everything,, chairs, paper, walls, carpet, people,,
everything and anything that was organic,, and it kept growing
and growing…

Well,, of course the scientists and the military tried everything they
could think off to kill it,, they tried fire, and chemicals, acids, foams,
herbicides, pesticides,, everything,, but it didn’t do em any good,,
besides once it was out of that lab,, it was already too late,, it had
gotten too big and it had spread into everything and it even went
underground feeding on all the plants and roots,, I guess…

Yep,, they tried everything,, except the A-BOMB of course,,
no reason to spread it all around if they weren’t sure it could
do the job…
Well,, it took only about 2 years for it to consume every organic
thing on this planet,, yep,, it even went into the oceans and ate
everything there,, hell,, I even heard that it could eat the
microbes in the air…
I don’t know,, I’m no scientist,, all I know is that its everywhere
now…I don’t think it has a mind or anything like that,, I just
think it is,, that’s all,, it just is…

Who am I?.. I’m just one of the very few survivors of the human
race,, that’s all…There aren’t that many of us left,, I guess,,
haven’t heard from anybody in a long time,, maybe their all
dead now,, who knows…Me,, I’m just stuck here at the north pole,,
I’ve been here since the day it started,, there were 12 of us then,,
and now it’s just me and Henry Gladnoff,, all the rest have either,,
just taken off into the snow or they have shot themselves,,
just me and Henry left…

But we won’t be around much longer,, our supplies are almost gone,,
and then it will be the end for us… No where to run,, and no one
left to bring us supplies,, so we just pass the days waiting…

It seems that the green slimy goo,, doesn’t like the cold we have
up here,, at least not yet… Oh,, it can take the cold and the snow
but not the extreme cold and snow we have here,, it doesn’t make
much of a difference tho,, there’s nothing out there now,,
except that green goo… So I’m sending this transmission out,,
before all our powers gone,, to give you a warning,, maybe someone
will hear this,, who knows,, but I’m sending this warning out anyway…
Stay away from this planet… Don’t attempt to land,, stay away,,
and I guess I should also say that you should learn from our fate…
Be careful about what you stick your nose into,,
because it just might bite back……………………

THE SUPPLY DEPOT..............

Halt who goes there?...
It’s just me Sarge…
Who’s me?...
Me Private Tushmouse,, Colonel Mortimer sent me up here
to see if you needed any help…
What’s the password?…
I don’t know Sarge,, I was just transferred here three days ago,,
nobody said anything about a password…they just sent me up here…
Step into the light so I can see you better…
Yes,, Sarge…
What’s was your name again?...
Private Tushmouse …
Yeah,, you look alright,, sit over there…
Thanks Sarge,, what are we doing here anyway?...
Didn’t they tell you anything buckethead,, G-damn almighty…
how long you been in the service anyway?...
This is my fourth week sir…
What??...Hell I knew you weren’t old enough to know to sneeze
downwind,, and don’t call me sir,, I know what the freak-in hell
I’m doing…
What are we doing Sarge?...
Well,, if you must know…we’re keeping an eye on the enemies
food supply depot…
Food Sarge?...
Yeah that’s right…have a look (Sarge points to a small hole near
the floor)
That’s it Sarge?...wow it looks big…its so close we could almost
reach out and grab it…
I wouldn’t try it kid,, the last couple of melon brains never
came back…
I sure am hungry Sarge…
Didn’t you get your food rations last week?...
Yes Sarge I got em…
What did you do with them?...
I ate em,, I was so hungry…
Don’t you ground turds know anything?...You’re suppose to
save some just for emergencies like this…
Sorry Sarge…
You’ll be even more sorry in a couple of days…

Atten-up…
At ease men…
What’s it look like up here Sergeant?...
About the same as last week,, General…
Still no change in the enemies supply depot?...
Not much sir…you can see it plainly from over here sir…
(the General and the Sergeant peer cautiously thru the
small opening)…
That’s it sir,, (Sarge half-whispers)…
As you can see over to the left there is some
poles at about 30ms and then there’s a small stand of
what appears to be strawgrass that could be used for cover…
then it would be an open field dash without cover to the
supply depot…
What do you think Sergeant?...
I think it could be done,, sir…but they’d have to move fast and quiet…
Private…what about you?...could you make it?...
Well,, well,, I suppose so sir…it looks pretty quiet…I haven’t seen
any guards or anything…
I’m looking for a volunteer private…
Yes,, yes sir,, I can do it…
Sergeant,, get Private Tushmouse ready for the mission…
we can go tonight at 2:30 hours…I’ll alert the western command
post to do some diversionary maneuvers to help…
Yes sir…

(2:20 hours)
Atten-up…
At ease men…ready here Sergeant?...
Yes sir…
How abut you private?...
Scared sir…
That’s ok son,, being scared is what could keep you alive tonight…
Ok kid,, it about time… remember head for the poles and use
them as cover as best you can,, then head for the strawgrass and
wait to make sure everything’s quiet and you haven’t been spotted…
got that?
Yes Sarge…
Then creep out slowly,, don’t rush it,, then when your within reach,,
use your snagging pole on the spring arm as hard as you can…
then don’t move,, don’t even breathe…you’ll know what to do after that…
Yes Sarge…what if?...
There is no what if,, we’re counting on you…now get ready…

There it is… the diversion along the western wall…….
Go kid…
How’s he doing Sergeant?...
He’s made it to the first pole sir,, making his way to the strawgrass…
he’s there…wait kid,, wait….
Ok,, he’s creeping out now sir…just a few more ms…
He’s activated the spring arm sir…
(snap,, fling,, hop,, bounce,, the spring arm releases the catch bar
in an instant and the food depot bouncers wildly along the floor…
Private Tushmouse stunned by the sudden actions of the
supply depot,, panics and hurries back towards his lookout position)

(meeoow,,, meeooow,, claw,, bite,, snap,, blood oozes,,
its over in just a second)…
The cats got him sir…
Damn… where’d it come from this time?...
Couldn’t tell sir…seemed to be waiting tho,, came from above…
What about the supplies?...
Still out of reach sir…I could try to reach it with a snagging pole…
Well,, do what you can Sergeant…
What about that cat sir?...
Q-division is working on a plan to put a bell on it,, so we can
always know where it is…
Yes sir…
Get some sleep Sergeant,, I’ll send another volunteer up here
in a day or so…
Yes sir,, good night sir………………………..

HOW SOON WE FORGET...............

GUARDIANS……………….
Oh say can you see the rockets red glare,,
The bombs bursting in air…
Can you hear the bombers overhead…
Or the bullets whizzing by,,
Oh can you see,, the enemy tanks everywhere…
Do you feel tyranny and repression everyplace you go,,

Of course you can’t and neither can I…

Do you see the mushroom clouds a glowing,,
Does the enemy sleep apon your bed,,
Are you made to labor from dawn to dusk under a boiling sun…
Are you carded and herded and shipped to everywhere…
Of course not and neither am I…
For guardians have we,, that let us sleep peacefully thru the night…
Of many shapes,, genders and colors they are,, both young and old…

They do fight for me…
Apon distant lands must they go…
So that evil will not grow apon this freedoms soil…
And so it has been from the birth and so it shall be until the

end of all things…

Can you see them now?... Among us they walk…
Can you separate them from you or me…
Of course not and neither can I…

For from freedoms bosom they were made,, the same as you and I…
Guardians of our freedoms and liberties they are...
Into the valley of the shadow of death they will go for us…
Apon the land,, in the air,, and over the sea,, and yes even under they be…
Forever guarding,, forever watching,, forever striking against evils forces…
Of many shapes,, genders and colors they be,, both young and old,,

but I know not a single one…

They know of the terrors in the nigh,, of the rockets red glare,,

and of the bombs bursting in the air,, of bullets whizzing by and

tanks round the bend…
But they go and stand vigilant every night,, every day and

every hour…
From them I am given a peaceful sleep,, and apon tomorrow I will

hear children laughing,, see lovers necking on some shady bench,,

or perhaps watch an older pair walking hand in hand apon this green

and sunny land…

All this and much much more have they given me…
Forever guarding,, forever watching,, they guard my liberties…
No metals do they seek,, no awards,, no monuments do they want…
But we shall give it to them,, and with pompous speeches we shall dedicate…
But for me,, when they come marching home along everymans street,,
I will give them just a salute and a wave,, a welcoming hand,,
and apon a small sign I shall write…
Thank you,, thank you,, guardians of my nights………………………….

DO YOU REMEMBER NOW?.............................

Some would say that today,, or yesterday,, or even tomorrow is the anniversary of the desert war we and our allies are now embroiled in…it is not…this current conflict in the land of the sand people started on just one day,, a clear blue sky day…this war began because a madman,, the lunatic son a wealthy businessman decided a ‘holy jihad’ should be waged against all that do not follow his practice of Islam…
This war will not be over tomorrow or even a couple of months after a new American president is elected…America and its allies will maintain a military base in Iraq long after 95% of the troops we have there now have come home,, not so much to stabilize the region but rather to keep an eye on the other nutsos in the area…For over 60 years the guardians of many nations manned the lookout towers and the bunkers along the divided East and West Europe,, for over 60 years it held a steadfastness and a resolve to finally bring the wall down…And so it will be when the new ‘cold wall’ between Islam and the West finally establishes itself…There are no short term fixes here,, this ‘real life TV show’ will not be over in a half-hour or in an hour,, and then on to reruns of ‘Friends’ as we fall asleep in our beds…
To those of you who say this war is ‘blood for oil’…I say FUCK YOU…Do not ever equate the lives of my brave fearless guardians with the price of anything…Tell me how many barrels of crude is the life of one PFC JONES worth?...
Tell me so I can do the math of the 4000 or so warriors who have already given their last full measure of devotion,, so I can calculate how many times I was able to drive my car to work…or to put it in simpler terms,, how many loafs of bread does a dead Marine buy?...how many cartons of eggs?...

HAVE A GOOD DAY… And when you are sitting there on a park bench watching one of Gods sunsets,, remember that you do not speak German,, Japanese,, or Russian,, because guardians like those of today stood on the line that divides GOOD AND EVIL………………….

THE CATZ YOUYOU TAG..............

Once again my peaceful slumber has been disturbed by a
fuzzy haired creature from the darkness of Nanookville…
This Fuzzy haired creature is sometimes known as Catz (meow,, meow),,
she came apon me with her mukluk heathen ways and forced me
to search within my dungeon abode for 8 objects hidden away in by
basement storage room,, thus exposing my treasures for all of
Blogland to snicker at…This kind of invasion of my sacred dwelling
can not go unaddressed…So therefore I,, in my infinite wisdom,,
have devised a revenge meme tag just for her…
I call it a YOUYOU tag,, where she must expose herself to all of
Blogland,, (hopefully with 8x 10 glossy color photos or maybe
a video we can all view,, I hear she’s pretty hot looking when
she’s just wearing leather camera straps)…

The Catz YOUYOU tag………

1…when you have to get a perm for your fuzzy orange head,,
do you go to the hair saloon or just put your finger in a
light socket?...

2…when you paint your toenails bright pink,, what type of
Cheetos corn puffs do you use to keep your toes apart,,
crunchy or regular?...

3…how many Canadian loonies can you put up your nose?...

4…how many liters of hot wax does it take to remove the hair
from your legs?...

5…how many frozen cat fillets are in your freezer right now?...

6…how many chocolate éclairs have you eaten at one time?...
8?,, 12?,, 20?,, over 50?...

7…have you stopped saving your earwax in masons jars?...

8…what is the square root of PI ?...

Let just see how many she answers,, I’m betting on none…

Special editors note:
When you wander into my basement abode,, you had
better be willing to pay the bartab,, missy.....(hic)
…............ppplllltttthhhh……......

SPECIAL NOTICE

Thanks for noticing I haven't been around much lately...
The men in the white suits with no buttons in the back think I
should have some of my plumbing rerouted...They're just haggling
over how many barrells of God juice I will owe them after
everything is done...

To Catz: I haven't forgotten how mean you were to me,,
my revenge for you and your little dog too will be in the
mail shortly.........

.....mmmmwwwwwwwahahahahahahaha.......

UPDATE: 3-11-08
Boy,, if I'd known that candystripers where so plentiful around
here I would have dropped by more than once every 250 yrs...
And yes,, I must admit that my bare a$$ looks really great peeking
out from behind my cown as I walk down the corridors...
Not sure how well my pink bunny socks are going over tho........

UPDATE: 3-13-08
There Chairon stands, who rules the dreary coast -
A sordid god: down from his hairy chin
A length of beard descends, uncombed, unclean;
His eyes, like hollow furnaces on fire;
A girdle, foul with grease, binds his obscene attire.
...Virgil in his Aeneid (book 6, line 369)...

the time; almost now...(friday 6 AM)...
the place; here...
the future; unknown...

to pay the ferryman or no?...
we shall see on the morrows rise..........

INVADERS FROM MARS..........

After many many months of research and thousands of requests
to Congress,, the D.O.D.,, NASA,, my Senators,, and information
I obtained thru the Freedom of Information Act,, I have finally
received the information I knew was hidden by the Government
all along…Yes,, we are being invaded by Martians…
I’m posting what I have found so you can judge for yourself…
I’ve decided to pack up what little supplies I have,, and have
loaded my dogs into my ’63 Buick so I can head into the hills
and hide from these interstellar monsters…
Perhaps with a little luck they won’t find me….

This photo shows an advanced Martian scout ship in the year 1953…
somewhere near Grovers Mill…Do not be fooled by the smiley face
on the front…This is a deadly predator Martian ship…
Its propulsion system is unknown,, but Earths top scientists
think its using fluctuating magnetic beams to hover over the
landscape…The only remaining eyewitness…
A Mr. Clieve Swubird,, said that lightning like thunderbolts
came out of the wing tips,, his three friends that were camping
with him when he took this picture,, were vaporized by
a reddish beam of light coming from the cobrahead like
structure above the main ship…He only escaped because he
was in the woods by the campsite,, taking a whiz
in the bushes…


This photo shows what is believed to be a Martian mother ship in
the year 1979…the photo was taken by Toklien Roberts
(AKA AstroBob) from SKYLAB just before it began to have trouble
staying in orbit around Earth…again note the smiley face…
The beam of light from the bottom is thought to be a particle beam
energy weapon of some kind…perhaps that’s why Skylab lost power…

This photo was taken near Chernihiv of the former USSR…
Date unknown…notice the sinister looking robot figure…
There can only be one reason for making such a machine,,
and that’s to destroy all Human life on this planet…The Human in
the photo is thought to be under mind control by the Martian invaders…
Used only because he could speak Russian…

This photo is believed to have been taken by USSR scientists
who were allowed inside the Martian ship to negotiate the release

of female captives who may have been used for cross breeding

experiments between Humans and Martians…Perhaps to

create a worldwide source of obedient slave labor…Here we

also see the same Human slave that was outside the ship……

A Martian machine used to drain the living life force from
Humans,, to supply neutrino energy to their fungus and

puss gardens…

A Martian machine for sucking Human brains out thru the ears,,

it also has the capacity to pluck Human eyeballs from your head…

It is believed that the brainless Human body is then refitted with

an electronic motor control so that Human bodies can be used for

heavy labor and that Martians like to eat Human eyeball soup

for breakfast…Note the Human hand in this picture…

a mind controlled Human already in use by the invaders…

This is a reconstructed photo of what is believed to be the Martian

supreme commander…This image was gathered by Voyager 1,,

when it flew by Jupiter in 1979…and kept secret by NASA for fear

of causing a panic among the population…

This is a composite drawing of what a Martian really looks like…

The D.O.D. calls them Marvs for short…
Be afraid…be very afraid…and run for the hills if you can………….

THE CLOSET TAG............

Well there I was just relaxing in a tub of marmalade when the
buzzer on my E-gram mailbox went off…Yes it was a Tuesday,,
apparently some furry orange haired person from BC had been
imbibing fermented hops in her usual way and thus she became
fortified (if not pickled) and decided she would send dear ole
harmless me,, a tag… A closet tag no less…Her and Drowsey have
been spending too much time stuffing little cocktail umbrellas up
each others noses…But that’s another story for another time,,
8x10 glossy photos of the two of them will be included…..

Okay the rules for this meme are pretty simple:
Name 8 things you have stuffed away in a back closet and
tag three people...
Why anybody would like to look in my closet I can’t imagine,,
well I can but I rather not tell you,, because this blog is rated PG…
it says so right on the label,, Mabel…

… “stuffed away in a back closet”…ahh the first problem,,
as I knew there would be…I don’t have any closets…I keep all
my stuff in Samsonite luggage just in case I have to,, hmm,,
leave quickly,, cuz I won a free trip to Aruba,, yeah that’s it…
But I do have a basement,, and in it I have,, shall we say,,
‘a storage room’,, I can look in it…I hope that’s OK with the rules,,
if not too bad…

Now where is the key?...here it is,, wouldn’t you know it,,
it’s a skeleton key…Lets hope there are no skeletons in
this closet,, ha ha...

(click,, click,, turn,, eerrrrerish)…
Boy I haven’t been in here in a while,, I’ll have to oil those
hinges soon,, maybe…

Well lets have a look around for 8 interesting items…

How about a bare light bulb and a pull chain,, do they count?...
thought not,, oh well…..

1 & 2… hi ma,, hi pa,, how you guys doing down here? Are those
new ankle chains too tight?...”lldiuhjasda”,, no its not time to eat,,
I’ll get back to you when I’m done…

3…what’s in this steamer trunk?...lets have a look…ouuuuu...
Now I remember,, Quido and some of his friends left it here
in the early seventies…there’s a wallet…hmmm Jimmy Hoffa…

4…what’s that pile of fur in the corner…oh geez.. its Fluffy the cat…
not very fluffy anymore…shes been missing since August,,
I wondered where she went…

5…on the shelf there is a large glass jar,, lets look…
Hey its grandma’s head…she looks just the same as when
she died,, I guess formaldehyde really does work…

6…what else is up there?...ohh some black and white
8mm movies…hmm Betty Boop does Mickey,,
the Three Bears eat Goldilocks,, Snow White wakes up
Sleeping Beauty,, Popeye spreads Olive Oyl…wow look at those….

7…ohh,, there’s a meat clever here,, better not touch that,,
I’m not wearing gloves…

8…and there’s a reel of audio taped labeled…18 minutes
of conversation in the Ova…I can’t read the rest…faded too much…

OK,, now the fun part for me,, I get to tag 3 people with this
‘closet tag’ so they can show us what’s in their closet…

I tag the following 3 persons (I guess you could call them that)…
1….HillaryDillary Clinton…
2….Bill Clinton…
3….Hugh Hefner….

Lets all hope that Hugh answers this tag,, I really don’t care
about the other two slime balls,, but it would be nice to know
what skeletons they have in their closets,, I’ll bet its
a lot…………….

Special editors note:
Furry orange haired person from BC,, I'll get back to you later...
...........mmmwwwwahahahahahahah......